"What Is Love? Commitment Over Convenience" | Pastor Bobby Chandler

Name: "What Is Love? Commitment Over Convenience" | Pastor Bobby Chandler
Uploaded: 2026-02-09T01:30:49.000Z
Duration: 1 h 46 min 31 s

Celebrating 7 Years of Ministry

Introduction and Celebration

The speaker expresses gratitude for being in church on a Sunday morning, emphasizing the joy of gathering and acknowledging God's presence.

A celebration is announced for seven years of ministry, encouraging the congregation to praise God for this milestone.

Special Events and Series Announcement

The speaker mentions a fun giveaway related to the Awaken Conference, highlighting that there are seven surprise golden tickets available.

A new series titled "Until Death" is introduced, sparking curiosity about its focus on marriage or more serious topics like murder.

Understanding Relationships: Marriage and Commitment

Exploring Relationship Dynamics

The series will address various aspects of relationships, including their intended purpose and common challenges faced due to dysfunction in many homes.

The speaker acknowledges that many individuals struggle with believing in the longevity of their marriages or future relationships due to past experiences.

Content Warning and Serious Discussions

A warning is given regarding mature content; parents are advised to consider children's attendance during discussions about relationships.

Emphasis is placed on how modern relationships often prioritize personal gratification over commitment, leading to instability.

The Essence of a Healthy Marriage

Selflessness as a Foundation

The speaker defines a healthy marriage as one rooted in selflessness, where partners prioritize each other's needs over their own desires.

It’s noted that many marriages fail not because love diminishes but due to increasing selfishness among partners.

Biblical Insights on Marriage Roles

Ephesians 5:24–25 is referenced, discussing the biblical concept of submission within marriage while clarifying misconceptions about dominance or control by husbands.

Wives are encouraged to support their husbands willingly under Christlike leadership; trust and mutual respect are essential for relationship success.

What is Love?

The Reality of Marriage

Marriage can start with excitement but quickly reveal unexpected challenges, such as personal habits and shared spaces that may lead to frustration.

Support from spouses is crucial; a simple acknowledgment of effort can significantly impact a man's emotional well-being.

Communication and Support

Wives are encouraged to provide love and support, especially when husbands struggle to express their feelings about daily challenges.

Husbands are reminded to communicate respectfully with their wives, emphasizing the importance of words in maintaining family dynamics.

Leadership and Sacrifice

Respect within the family must be earned through Christlike leadership; demanding respect without earning it leads to conflict.

Men are called to "lead and bleed," meaning they should protect and guide their families while demonstrating love through sacrifice.

Understanding True Love

Jesus exemplifies true love by laying down His life for others, highlighting that real love often requires personal sacrifice.

The message poses a question: What is love? It aims to explore commitment in a culture that often lacks it.

Commitment vs. Culture

The series intends to teach commitment amidst a society that seeks connection without responsibility or perseverance during tough times.

There’s concern that the church has lost sight of God’s view on relationships, leading believers to mirror worldly behaviors instead of biblical principles.

Biblical Insights on Love

Paul’s teachings in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 describe essential qualities of love, including patience, kindness, and humility—qualities often overlooked in modern relationships.

Reflecting on these qualities encourages self-examination regarding jealousy, control issues, and irritability within relationships.

Understanding Love and Relationships in Corinth

The Challenge of Past Wrongs

Paul emphasizes the importance of not being walked over in relationships, but encourages individuals to surrender their past wrongs to Jesus for healing.

Acknowledges the difficulty of moving on from past mistakes within marriages, highlighting that healing is possible through faith in Jesus.

The Nature of True Love

Love is characterized by perseverance; it does not give up during tough times and remains hopeful through all circumstances.

Real love endures challenges and holds onto faith, especially during storms in a relationship.

Cultural Context of Corinth

Paul addresses the Corinthians' confusion about love and marriage, urging them to seek guidance from biblical teachings rather than cultural norms.

The church in Corinth struggled with understanding love due to societal influences that distorted true commitment.

Issues Within Roman Culture

Paul warns against sexual relations outside marriage, stressing the importance of intimacy within the covenant of marriage.

He highlights the dangers of casual relationships that lead to emotional damage and emptiness.

Redefining Love: A Cultural Crisis

The culture in Corinth redefined love as centered around feelings and pleasure rather than commitment, leading to confusion about true happiness.

Historical context reveals that this shift contributed significantly to societal decay, ultimately impacting the fall of Rome.

Consequences of Sexual Indulgence

In Corinthian society, men could have concubines, which led to moral degradation; homosexuality was also legalized during this time.

This indulgent mindset perpetuated a cycle where boundaries were continually pushed further into depravity.

Historical Figures and Their Impact

Nero's reign exemplified extreme moral corruption; his actions reflected broader societal issues related to lust and confusion about love.

Nero's infamous acts included marrying a castrated boy publicly, showcasing how deeply twisted cultural values had become.

By examining these points chronologically with timestamps linked directly to specific moments in the transcript, readers can easily navigate through key discussions regarding love and relationships as presented by Paul in his letters.

Understanding Love in a Corrupt Culture

The Context of Corinth

Paul arrives in Corinth, prompting new believers to question their understanding of love and how to escape their previous lifestyles.

Corinth was home to around 12 temples dedicated to the goddess Aphrodite, leading to a culture steeped in sexual immorality and indulgence.

Worship practices included sexual acts with prostitutes as part of temple rituals, normalizing prostitution within the community.

Cultural Indulgence and Its Consequences

The prevailing mindset encouraged individuals to pursue physical desires without restraint, equating intimacy with pleasure-seeking behavior.

The modern parallels are drawn between ancient Corinth and contemporary society, highlighting ongoing issues like exploitation and moral decay (e.g., references to current events).

God's Perspective on Value

Emphasis is placed on God's recognition of individual worth; believers are urged not to compromise their bodies for societal approval or fleeting fame.

New Christians struggle with selfishness and cravings from their past lives, needing guidance on how to live differently.

Issues Within the Church Community

Paul addresses problems during the Lord's Supper, indicating that divisions exist among church members due to selfish behaviors.

Some congregants prioritize personal meals over communal sharing, leading others to go hungry while some indulge excessively.

A Call for Transformation

Despite their flawed practices, God’s love remains evident; Paul seeks to correct these behaviors gently while encouraging growth away from old habits.

Wealthier members hosting gatherings often neglect those who arrive later or have less means, creating an unwelcoming environment at church functions.

Reflecting True Christian Values

Paul challenges the congregation's authenticity by comparing them unfavorably against true Christian values versus mere cultural mimicry.

Believers are encouraged to seek freedom from past sins through faith in Jesus Christ while rejecting lies that hinder spiritual growth.

Understanding Self-Control and Relationships

The Importance of Unity in Relationships

Paul emphasizes that self-centeredness can lead to division within a church, as individuals prioritize their own needs over communal unity.

In personal relationships, focusing solely on one's own desires can be draining for partners and detrimental to the relationship's health.

Lack of Restraint and Its Consequences

A deeper issue identified is the lack of restraint; individuals struggle to say no to their desires or prioritize others.

Proverbs 25:28 illustrates that without self-control, one leaves themselves vulnerable, akin to a city without walls.

Spiritual Implications of Self-Control

Constantly yielding to fleshly desires opens one up to negative influences from others, especially those who do not share similar values.

James 3:16 warns that jealousy and selfish ambition lead to disorder; selfishness disrupts harmony in both spiritual and relational contexts.

Freedom Through Faith

Paul addresses the Corinthian church about the dangers of becoming slaves to their desires despite having the freedom to choose.

He reminds them that while they have free will, not everything they are allowed to do is beneficial for them spiritually or emotionally.

The Role of the Holy Spirit in Self-Control

Galatians 5:22–23 highlights that self-control is a fruit produced by the Holy Spirit, which helps guide believers away from destructive behaviors.

The Holy Spirit actively intervenes in believers' lives, providing guidance on when to speak or act differently.

What Love Is Not

Misconceptions About Love and Casual Relationships

Love should not be equated with casual hookups; this misconception was prevalent among the Corinthians due to cultural influences like worshiping Aphrodite.

Sexual relationships were treated as entertainment rather than expressions of devotion, leading many Corinthians to question the sanctity of marriage.

What Do We Do With Our Bodies Now?

Understanding the Value of Our Bodies

The main question addressed is what to do with our bodies after living a certain lifestyle. Paul confronts this by stating that our bodies belong to Jesus and are not our own.

The price for this ownership is highlighted as Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, emphasizing that individuals should recognize their inherent value rather than seeking validation through sexual immorality.

Biblical Foundations

Reference to 1 Corinthians 6:15-18 illustrates that our bodies are parts of Christ, indicating a deep spiritual connection between believers and Jesus.

Paul warns against joining one's body with a prostitute, reinforcing the idea that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, which leads to confusion in spiritual direction.

Spiritual and Physical Union

In covenant marriage, becoming one flesh glorifies God; this union has both physical and spiritual implications.

Accepting Jesus means becoming one spirit with Him, which raises questions about how we treat our bodies since they house the Holy Spirit.

Running from Sexual Sin

Paul urges believers to run from sexual sin, emphasizing its unique impact on the body compared to other sins.

He stresses that sexual immorality can lead to feelings of being torn apart or soulless due to its deeper consequences beyond casual encounters.

The Temple of the Holy Spirit

Paul clarifies that our bodies are temples and should not be misused; they have intrinsic value and purpose beyond mere pleasure.

Citing 1 Corinthians 6:12-13, he notes that while we may feel free to act however we wish, not everything is beneficial or good for us.

God's Care for Our Bodies

Emphasizing God's creation of us, it’s stated that He cares about what we do with our bodies because they serve as temples for His Spirit.

Believers must consider where they take the Holy Spirit within them; engaging in unholy activities grieves God.

Grieving the Holy Spirit

The discussion concludes by mentioning three ways believers can grieve the Holy Spirit, starting with their way of living.

Understanding the Grieving of the Holy Spirit

The Importance of Trusting God

Ephesians 4:30 emphasizes not grieving the Holy Spirit through our actions, reminding us that God identifies and loves us, ensuring our salvation.

Isaiah 63:10 highlights that rebellion against God can grieve the Holy Spirit, indicating a deep emotional connection between God and His followers.

Acts 7:51 warns against stubbornness, which can lead to resisting God's guidance in relationships.

Relationships and Understanding Love

The speaker questions why individuals trust God in some areas but not in relationships, suggesting a lack of understanding of true love without knowing Jesus.

Emphasizes that knowing God is essential for understanding love; without this relationship, one cannot truly love others.

Cultural Perspectives on Marriage

Discusses societal trends where marriage vows are trivialized; living together before marriage is becoming more common.

Living together before marriage may condition individuals to leave when challenges arise, training them for potential divorce.

Biblical Views on Sex and Marriage

Paul asserts that sex belongs within a covenant marriage, emphasizing its sacredness as a gift from God (1 Corinthians 7).

Paul advises against physical intimacy outside of marriage due to cultural pressures but affirms the blessing of marriage.

Marital Responsibilities and Needs

Couples should not deprive each other of marital rights except by mutual consent for prayer; intimacy helps prevent temptation (1 Corinthians 7:5).

Highlights differences in emotional needs between husbands and wives; understanding these needs is crucial for a healthy relationship.

Discussion on Relationships and Healing

The Importance of Open Dialogue

The speaker emphasizes the need to discuss various aspects of relationships, including sex, heartbreak, marriage struggles, singleness, and divorce from a biblical perspective.

Acknowledges that many individuals may feel trapped by past mistakes or unhealthy bonds and expresses a desire to provide guidance on how to move forward.

Steps Toward Healing

The first step in healing is to confess one's sins. The speaker references 1 John 1:9, highlighting God's willingness to forgive and cleanse those who admit their wrongdoings.

Repentance is crucial; Acts 3:19 encourages turning away from sin so that one’s past can be wiped clean. This act is portrayed as essential for achieving freedom from guilt.

God’s Understanding and Support

Regardless of past actions, the speaker reassures listeners that they are not defined by their previous mistakes; God offers forgiveness and renewal.

A prayer for deliverance and healing is offered for those feeling heartbroken or confused about their relationships. It acknowledges the pain caused by betrayal.

Embracing Love and Hope

Jesus' experience with betrayal serves as a reminder that forgiveness is possible. The speaker encourages listeners to embrace hope despite trials in love.

Listeners are reminded that true love perseveres through challenges, emphasizing God's unwavering support during difficult times.

Final Thoughts on Healing

To heal a broken heart, one must surrender all pieces to God. This act of trust is vital for moving toward restoration.

Pain must be felt rather than numbed; only then can it be handed over to God for transformation into something beautiful.

Community Engagement and Events

Call for Generosity

The speaker thanks viewers for their contributions which enable the ministry's outreach efforts. They highlight the impact of generosity in spreading hope.

Upcoming Conference Invitation

An invitation is extended for the Awaken Conference 2026 scheduled from June 4th to 7th, promising impactful worship experiences and speakers aimed at community gathering.

Encouragement for Action

Viewers are encouraged to actively participate in their faith journey by being "the hands and feet of God" throughout the week ahead.