The biggest predictor of divorce | Shannon Curry and Lex Fridman

Contempt in Relationships

This section discusses contempt in relationships and how it can erode a relationship quickly.

Contempt is Criticism on Steroids

• Contempt is criticism on steroids, according to John Gottman.

• It involves looking at your partner from a superior position, such as eye rolling, name-calling, mocking, and physical mockery.

• It can be abusive and is the biggest predictor of a split if allowed to continue.

The Power of Attention

• Attention is powerful in relationships.

• Wearing rose-colored glasses is important and healthy for relationships.

• Choosing to see the beauty in your partner helps you recognize their incredible strengths.

Unique Flaws in Relationships

This section discusses how humans are fundamentally flawed and have unique flaws that shape their value systems.

Differences in Relationships

• Humans are fundamentally flawed or have flaws that are unique to them.

• Differences exist between partners due to different upbringings, experiences, and values.

• Accepting differences depends on whether they are deal-breakers or not.

Love as an Emotion

This section discusses love as an emotion and attraction as an emotion.

Love and Attraction

• Love is an emotion while attraction is also an emotion.

• Even if you're committed to someone else, you may find someone else attractive due to novelty.

• Remembering that everyone has problems helps you see the beauty in your partner again.