Why You Dont Have Confidence And How To Build It

How to Build Confidence and Trust Yourself

Introduction to Building Confidence

• The video discusses strategies for building confidence and self-trust, prompted by a question from a participant in a coaching group.

• The participant reveals that she struggles with self-deception, particularly regarding commitments like going to the gym.

Understanding Self-Deception

• The conversation shifts from lying to oneself to the deeper issue of not trusting oneself, which is identified as the core problem.

• The participant acknowledges her lack of trust leads to procrastination and negative self-talk when failing to meet her own expectations.

Negative Self-Talk Patterns

• When she fails to go to the gym, she berates herself with harsh words like "worthless" and "liar."

• Even when she does go, she continues this negative dialogue, indicating a persistent cycle of self-doubt.

Associating Actions with Outcomes

• An analogy is drawn using a dog that learns to avoid a room after being punished; similarly, individuals may associate gym attendance with negative feelings.

• This association creates an aversion towards taking positive actions due to fear of self-punishment.

Reframing Self-Talk

• To combat this negativity, it's suggested that individuals should change their internal dialogue and celebrate small victories.

• Taking action does not require belief in oneself; rather, action can lead to results that build confidence over time.

Action Over Belief

• Emphasizes that belief is not necessary for taking action; consistent effort will yield results regardless of initial confidence levels.

• Celebrating even minor achievements reinforces trust in oneself and encourages continued effort toward goals.

Building Trust Through Action

• Engaging in activities you initially resist (like going to the gym), while celebrating those efforts builds long-term confidence.

• Results from these actions further enhance belief in one's capabilities over time through repeated success.

Conclusion: The Pathway to Confidence

• Confidence is built through consistent action and positive reinforcement rather than mere belief or affirmation practices alone.

• Ultimately, true confidence comes from showing up for yourself repeatedly and recognizing your progress along the way.