Carl Jung's Controversial Opinion on Avoidants will Shock You.

Understanding Avoidant Attachment Through Jungian Psychology

Jung's Perspective on Avoidance

• Carl Jung did not use the term "avoidant attachment," but his writings on emotional withdrawal and the psyche are relevant to this concept.

• Jung challenges the notion that avoidants are merely wounded individuals needing patience; he suggests they are fleeing from themselves rather than others.

• The avoidance is seen as a refusal to confront one's shadow self, which includes unacknowledged needs for connection and love.

The Shadow Self and Persona

• The avoidant's rejection of intimacy reflects a deeper denial of their own shadow, leading to emotional isolation.

• Jung posits that the persona—an outward mask of independence—can become a prison when it overshadows the authentic self longing for connection.

• This fusion with their persona prevents avoidants from recognizing their true selves, filled with fears and longings they deny.

Individuation and Emotional Withdrawal

• Individuation, or becoming fully oneself by integrating all aspects of the psyche, is essential but impossible through continued self-isolation.

• Emotional withdrawal is viewed as fragmentation rather than individuation; true wholeness requires embracing vulnerability and dependency.

• Avoidants suffer not from external hurt but from an internal resistance to experiencing their full humanity.

Projection and Unconscious Desires

• Jung’s theory of thema explains how avoidants project repressed qualities onto others, seeking what they cannot accept within themselves.

• This projection leads to idealization from afar but devaluation up close; genuine intimacy forces them to confront their own desires.

Healing Beyond Relationships

• Genuine intimacy demands finding lost parts within oneself instead of seeking them externally in relationships.

• Jung argues against the idea that patience from partners can heal avoidants; real healing requires confronting one’s shadow independently.

• Those who love an avoidant cannot act as therapists or healers; healing is a solitary journey requiring personal reckoning.