Terry Crews Breaks Down About His Sexual Abuse & Beating Up His Dad!

Diary of a CEO - Terry Crews: From NFL Player to Hollywood Star

In this segment, Terry Crews discusses his upbringing, family dynamics, and the early influences that shaped his life.

Early Childhood and Family Environment

• Growing up in Flint, Michigan during a time when General Motors was thriving, providing opportunities and prosperity.

• Father worked at Buick as a foreman, while mother was a housewife; their contrasting backgrounds led to a tumultuous household.

• Father's alcoholism and abusive behavior towards his mother left lasting scars on Crews.

• Mother's strong religious beliefs from the Church of God in Christ created a strict environment with limited freedoms.

Coping Mechanisms and Escapes

• Coping with the violent home environment by seeking solace in art and imagination at school.

• Finding refuge in comic books and heroes as symbols of strength amidst familial turmoil.

Detailed Life Reflections

In this section, the speaker reflects on his childhood experiences and the dynamics within his family, shedding light on the impact of parental conflict and the desire to protect loved ones.

Childhood Struggles

• The speaker recalls feeling small and helpless during parental conflicts in his childhood.

• He describes admiring his older brother's strength and feeling a strong urge to become strong himself to protect his family.

• The speaker shares unsettling thoughts he had as a seven-year-old about potential harm from his father due to his unpredictable behavior.

Family Dynamics

• Despite witnessing his father's struggles with alcoholism, the speaker expresses empathy towards him, highlighting moments of sadness and vulnerability.

• A poignant memory is shared where the speaker's attempt to show affection to his father is met with disdain, shaping his understanding of love and boundaries.

Family History Revelation

This part delves into the speaker's discovery of a painful family history that sheds light on the origins of his father's pain and struggles.

Uncovering Family Secrets

• Through a genealogy show experience, the speaker learns about how his grandfather abandoned their family, leading to significant emotional repercussions for his father.

• Details emerge about the harsh reality faced by the grandfather, including criminal activities and serving time on a chain gang in Georgia.

New Section

The speaker reflects on the challenging relationship his father had with his grandfather, who ended up in jail multiple times and eventually passed away due to an epileptic seizure when the speaker's father was 17 years old. This difficult family history left a lasting impact on the speaker's father, leading him to struggle with feelings of rejection and inadequacy.

Family Struggles and Pain

• The grandfather's grave is currently marked by a cracked headstone, symbolizing the lack of recognition or honor in his passing.

• The pain from his family history drove the speaker's father to alcohol as a coping mechanism at a young age.

• While some turn to substances like alcohol for numbing pain, the speaker found solace in pornography as a means of escape from emotional distress.

Exploring Early Exposure to Pornography

The speaker delves into his first encounter with pornography at a young age and how it became an addictive coping mechanism throughout his life.

Impact of Early Exposure

• Discovering porn at nine or ten years old at his uncle's house exposed the speaker to adult content at a vulnerable age.

• Pornography is pervasive and often targets individuals from a young age, shaping their perceptions and behaviors around sexuality.

• The allure of porn lies in its ability to provide an escape from reality through idealized images that captivate and numb emotional pain.

Struggles with Pornography Addiction

The speaker shares how pornography addiction consumed his life for many years, detailing the extent of his dependency on this coping mechanism.

Escapism and Dependency

• Pornography served as a powerful escape from personal struggles, offering temporary relief from stress and emotional turmoil.

• Despite recognizing the harmful nature of pornography use, addiction led the speaker to prioritize indulgence over self-control.

Intensity of Pornography Addiction

The speaker reveals the severity of his addiction by describing prolonged hours spent consuming pornographic content without restraint.

Depths of Addiction

• From morning until night, spanning over twelve hours daily, the speaker engaged in continuous consumption of pornography without respite.

Marriage and Impact of Pornography

Terry Crews discusses the impact of pornography on his marriage, reflecting on his relationship with his wife and the challenges he faced due to his addiction.

Marriage and Discovery of Addiction

• Terry met his wife in college through church, hoping marriage would end his porn addiction.

• Initially believed marriage would solve the issue, but conflicts arose leading to seeking pornography in secret.

• Thought everyone had secrets until therapy revealed otherwise, highlighting the misconception around secrecy.

Realization and Recovery Journey

Terry delves into his realization about addiction, therapy's impact, and the significance of the 12-step program in his recovery journey.

Addiction Realization and Therapy

• Acknowledges addiction parallels with alcoholism and praises the effectiveness of the 12-step program.

• Reflects on misinterpreting wisdom by trying to change uncontrollable aspects of life.

Turning Point: D-Day

The turning point in Terry's life marked by a significant event referred to as "D-Day," where he faced consequences for past actions.

Revelation and Consequences

• Recounts cheating incident from ten years prior that led to distrust within marriage.

• Struggles with maintaining lies over time, leading to increased suspicion from his wife.

Success as a Mask for Lies

Terry reflects on how success masked his lies and contributed to sustaining deceit within his marriage.

Deception Unveiled

• Despite external success, internal turmoil led to breakdown in communication with wife.

Blockchain and Fitness Journey

The speaker discusses their fitness journey, focusing on workouts and calorie intake, along with a specific protein shake they consume.

Fitness Routine and Nutrition

• The speaker mentions being at 81% completion in their workout routine over the last 150 days, aiming for six gym sessions per week.

• They talk about reducing calorie intake and striving for nutritional completeness by consuming a protein shake, particularly favoring the salted caramel flavor.

• A personal anecdote is shared about a conversation regarding past events that led to misunderstandings and challenges in communication within a relationship.

Personal Revelation and Self-Reflection

The speaker delves into a personal revelation that caused strain in a relationship but ultimately led to self-realization and growth.

Relationship Struggles and Self-Discovery

• The speaker recounts revealing a past event to their partner, resulting in conflict and introspection.

• Despite initial reactions of detachment from the partner, the speaker reflects on facing consequences of their actions.

Intimacy and Vulnerability

Exploring themes of intimacy, vulnerability, and self-awareness within relationships.

Importance of Intimacy

• Intimacy is highlighted as crucial in relationships, emphasizing understanding one's true self beyond external facades.

• The speaker emphasizes that true intimacy involves acceptance of one's flaws while still being loved unconditionally.

Masculinity and Vulnerability

Discussing masculinity's perception regarding vulnerability and its impact on relationships.

Masculinity Perception

• Masculinity is portrayed as often linked with avoiding vulnerability; however, embracing vulnerability is essential for genuine connections.

Masculinity and Survival

The speaker reflects on how men often use masculinity to survive and fit in, despite it later becoming a hindrance.

Reflections on Masculinity

• Men frequently utilize masculinity as a survival mechanism to navigate life's challenges.

• Personal experience with using pornography addiction as a coping mechanism until it no longer served its purpose.

Distorted Camaraderie

The speaker recalls moments of camaraderie in the NFL that were actually disturbingly twisted.

Disturbing Camaraderie

• Reflecting on past experiences in the NFL where camaraderie was tainted by objectification of women.

• Describing how interactions with women at strip clubs dehumanized them, emphasizing objectification over humanity.

Dehumanization of Women

Discussing societal perceptions that devalue women's humanity compared to men.

Devaluing Women

• Acknowledging a cultural belief that women are less human than men, highlighting harmful societal norms.

• Sharing personal experiences growing up in an environment where controlling women was normalized and praised.

Control and Abuse

Recalling instances of control and abuse experienced during childhood, impacting self-perception.

Childhood Control

• Recounting a traumatic incident where the speaker's mother exerted extreme control by inspecting his body, leading to lasting emotional effects.

• Reflecting on the abusive nature of such control tactics, emphasizing the impact on self-esteem and autonomy.

Reframing Perception

Exploring personal growth through reevaluating beliefs and taking control of one's reactions.

Self-Empowerment Journey

• Embracing the courage to challenge ingrained beliefs and take control over one's responses.

Bill Gates and Personal Reflections

In this section, the speaker reflects on a personal story involving Bill Gates and delves into moments of self-realization and introspection.

Reflecting on Self-Perception

• The speaker discusses examining his self-perception and the impact of external judgments.

• Recounting a low moment involving a massage parlor incident that led to thoughts of suicide.

• Drawing parallels between life's direction and feeling lost like having a faulty instrument panel.

Awakening to Reality

• Describing a transformative experience on "D-Day" as an awakening to self-awareness.

• Embracing acceptance after denial, leading to a realization about self-image.

Family Dynamics and Confrontation

This section explores family dynamics, violence, and confronting challenging situations within familial relationships.

Confronting Violence

• Recalling a distressing phone call about domestic violence involving the speaker's father hitting his mother.

• Sharing an intense altercation with the father in response to witnessing domestic abuse incidents.

Seeking Revenge

• Reflecting on seeking revenge through physical confrontation but finding it hollow.

Success, Revenge, and Personal Growth

In this segment, the speaker reflects on the concepts of success, revenge, and personal growth through personal anecdotes and experiences.

Success vs. Revenge

• Success is leaving while revenge is quick.

• Reflects on a past scenario where he would have reacted aggressively but learned to control his responses.

Crafted Jewelry Sponsorship

• Discusses Crafted as a jewelry brand sponsor for the podcast.

• Crafted creates meaningful and affordable jewelry pieces symbolizing courage and ambition.

• Emphasizes the quality and significance of Crafted's jewelry pieces.

Personal Growth Journey

The speaker delves into his personal growth journey, highlighting pivotal moments that led to self-improvement.

Overcoming Ego

• Recounts a moment with his son spilling a drink and his changed reaction due to personal growth.

• Describes the gradual process of self-examination leading to significant changes in reactions.

Learning to Say No

• Shares an anecdote about learning to set boundaries by saying no.

• Realization during therapy session about not needing to comply with everything asked.

• Highlights the transformative experience of asserting boundaries for the first time.

Embracing Change and Self-Awareness

The speaker discusses embracing change, self-awareness, and its impact on relationships.

Understanding Triggers

• Reflecting on dissecting emotions to understand triggers better.

• Process of questioning reactions leading to letting go of negative emotions.

Improved Relationships

• Illustrates improved relationships through changed reactions towards family incidents.

• Transformation from perfectionism to acceptance in family gatherings.

Sharing Vulnerability for Connection

The speaker emphasizes vulnerability in sharing personal growth stories for connection and support.

Importance of Vulnerability

• Expresses importance of sharing vulnerabilities for others' benefit.

• Motivation behind sharing personal journey from fiction to non-fiction narratives.

Understanding Forgiveness and Accountability

In this section, the speaker reflects on the importance of genuine apologies, making amends, and taking responsibility for one's actions.

The Power of Genuine Apologies

• The speaker emphasizes that a mere apology is not enough; true remorse requires more than words.

• Reflecting on personal experiences, the speaker highlights the significance of receiving forgiveness after making sincere amends.

Making Amends and Taking Responsibility

• Acknowledging mistakes involves more than verbal apologies; it necessitates tangible actions to right wrongs.

• Personal growth and self-reflection are crucial in avoiding destructive behaviors and fostering healthier relationships.

Challenges in Hollywood Industry

This segment delves into the complexities and challenges within the Hollywood industry, shedding light on issues of love, power dynamics, and assault.

Unrealistic Notions of Love in Hollywood

• The speaker critiques Hollywood's portrayal of love as superficial and highlights the lack of genuine connection in relationships.

• Discusses how movies often romanticize problematic behaviors like assault or harassment.

Personal Encounter with Assault in Hollywood

• Shares a personal experience where the speaker was assaulted by their own agent at a party.

• Describes the discomfort and shock of being subjected to inappropriate behavior in a high-profile setting.

Navigating Power Dynamics

This part explores power dynamics, reactions to provocation, and internal struggles when faced with challenging situations involving authority figures.

Confronting Assault with Restraint

• Recounting an incident where the speaker was assaulted by a powerful individual at a party but chose restraint over violence.

• Reflecting on personal growth and overcoming impulses towards aggression through support from loved ones.

Seeking Accountability in Professional Settings

• Contemplates societal expectations regarding responses to provocation from influential figures.

Terry Crews on Overcoming Adversity and Finding Success

In this section, Terry Crews discusses his experiences with the #MeToo movement, highlighting instances of injustice and his decision to take legal action against William Morris Endeavor.

Terry's Encounter with Ari Emanuel

• Terry confronts Ari Emanuel about double standards in handling misconduct cases.

• Points out the disparity between punishment for anti-Semitic remarks and sexual assault.

• Recalls a conversation where excuses were made for unacceptable behavior.

• Describes his decision to sue William Morris Endeavor after facing resistance.

• Mentions the support he received from others who shared similar experiences.

Reflecting on Empathy and Personal Growth

Terry reflects on empathy, personal growth, and the impact of past experiences on his understanding of others' struggles.

Empathy Towards Will Smith

• Shares empathy towards Will Smith's public struggles.

• Acknowledges similarities in their experiences and responses to adversity.

• Expresses understanding of emotional reactions in challenging situations.

The Origin of Drive and Success

Terry delves into the origins of his drive for success, linking it to childhood insecurities and motivations.

Drive Stemming from Insecurities

• Discusses how overachieving was fueled by insecurity.

• Highlights how shame can be a powerful motivator for success.

• Explains the link between shame-driven actions and productivity.

Work Ethic and Self-Worth

Terry elaborates on his work ethic, self-worth, and dedication to achieving success despite challenges.

Work Ethic and Self-Worth

• Describes being obsessed with work as a means of self-validation.

• Reflecting on transitioning from an NFL career to acting without formal training.

Understanding Self-Worth and Overcoming Shame

In this section, Terry Crews shares his personal journey of seeking validation from others, overworking to avoid facing his inner struggles, and eventually finding self-acceptance by confronting shame.

Seeking External Validation

• Terry recalls being overly concerned about others' opinions of him, leading to a cycle of seeking approval.

Overworking to Avoid Self-Reflection

• To escape feelings of inadequacy and shame, Terry engaged in excessive work commitments, juggling multiple jobs simultaneously.

Embracing Inner Child and Self-Acceptance

• Through therapy and introspection, Terry learns to embrace his inner child and confront the root of his shame.

Redefining Strength and Individuality

Terry Crews discusses the importance of embracing individuality, reframing strength, and letting go of societal expectations to find true fulfillment.

Embracing Individuality

• Terry emphasizes the significance of being authentic and unique rather than conforming to societal norms or competing with others.

Redefining Strength

• By redefining strength as self-awareness and acceptance rather than endurance of pain or external achievements, Terry experiences a shift in perspective.

Impactful Message for Personal Growth

The conversation concludes with reflections on personal growth, self-worth, and the transformative power of overcoming shame.

Importance of Self-Worth

• Recognizing that true fulfillment comes from within rather than external validations or material possessions.

Overcoming Shame for Growth

• Acknowledging the distinction between guilt (corrective) and shame (destructive), highlighting the liberating effect of shedding unnecessary shame.

New Section

In this section, the speaker discusses writing a question for the next guest to facilitate a conversation among them and mentions not reading it until open source.

Writing Questions for Guests

• The speaker suggests writing questions for the next guest to prompt conversations among them.

Reading Questions Later

• The speaker mentions that they do not read the questions until open source.

New Section

This part involves a discussion about the speaker's current mood and reflections on social media's impact on communication.

Current Mood Description

• The speaker describes their current mood as "satiated," indicating a sense of satisfaction.

Satisfaction in Communication

• Expressing thoughts freely without social media constraints is described as satisfying and satiating.