Kamal Saleem ~ From Jihad to Jesus

Invoking Divine Glory

Opening Prayer and Invitation

• The speaker opens with a prayer, inviting God's glory into the space, referencing Isaiah 60 about divine glory in dark times.

• Emphasizes the importance of awakening within the church to fulfill its purpose as the bride of Christ.

Personal Testimony Introduction

• The speaker shares their personal testimony, highlighting that everyone has a story that can impact many lives. They stress that each person is chosen by God for a specific purpose.

Early Life in Lebanon

Background and Family Dynamics

• Born into a Sunni Muslim family in Beirut, Lebanon, with 14 siblings; they faced poverty but had strong religious beliefs.

• The speaker describes their fear of Allah and how it shaped their childhood experiences and relationship with faith.

Struggles for Connection

• At seven years old, the speaker sought a tangible relationship with Allah through desperate acts, feeling isolated from familial support. They express disappointment in not having a familial connection with God as they perceived Him to be distant and demanding rather than nurturing.

Radicalization Through Upbringing

Education and Ideological Indoctrination

• The speaker recounts being raised under strict Islamic teachings at home while also attending madrasa (Islamic school), which influenced their worldview significantly. Their mother played a crucial role in this indoctrination process.

• They describe being taught radical ideologies about martyrdom and jihad from an early age, believing it was their duty to contribute to Islam's rise globally.

Martyrdom Teachings

• The concept of martyrdom was emphasized heavily; dying for Allah was portrayed as noble and beneficial for one's family in the afterlife according to Islamic teachings shared by their mother. This included promises of intercession for family members upon death in battle against infidels.

Internal Conflict and Identity Crisis

Pressure from Family Expectations

• The burden placed on women within Islamic teachings is highlighted; if husbands fail to reach heaven due to wives' shortcomings, it reflects poorly on them—creating immense pressure on women like the speaker's mother who felt responsible for her family's spiritual state.

Personal Reflection on Identity

• Despite being taught about honor through sacrifice, the speaker expresses confusion regarding their identity amidst these expectations—feeling inadequate compared to siblings excelling academically while grappling with self-worth issues stemming from parental criticism. Their father's harsh words left lasting impacts on their self-esteem during formative years.

Childhood Struggles and Radicalization

Early Life Challenges

• The speaker reflects on the harsh realities of their childhood, mentioning that in some interpretations of Islam, young girls can be given away in marriage, highlighting cultural practices that impact youth.

• A pivotal moment occurs when the speaker's father dismisses them, leading to a promise to become a better student in hopes of gaining approval.

• The speaker describes working long hours for minimal pay, emphasizing the struggle for survival and the lengths they went to avoid gang violence while navigating dangerous neighborhoods.

Experiences with Violence

• The speaker recounts being severely beaten by various gangs due to sectarian differences, illustrating the violent environment they grew up in.

• They express concern over losing personal belongings after being robbed, revealing financial struggles within their family and the pressure to replace lost items.

Seeking Refuge and Identity

• After fleeing from danger, the speaker finds temporary refuge in a mosque where they encounter members of the Muslim Brotherhood who offer protection.

• The narrative shifts as they describe how these men became father figures during their formative years, filling a void left by their biological father.

Radicalization Process

• The speaker discusses being trained in radical ideologies under Abu Yusuf, who emphasizes that Islam spread through violence rather than peaceful teachings.

• They detail how this training led them into militant activities associated with groups like PLO and how they were indoctrinated into believing violence was necessary for change.

Transformation into Militancy

• The speaker recalls receiving an AK-47 as a child and feeling empowered by it; this symbolizes their transformation from victimhood to becoming an active participant in violence.

• They describe rigorous training as a child assassin and sniper, showcasing how children were groomed for warfare at an early age.

Recruitment of Other Children

• A significant shift occurs when the speaker is tasked with recruiting other orphaned children into militant activities, reflecting on their desire to provide identity and purpose to those similarly abandoned.

• This recruitment process highlights systemic issues faced by orphans seeking belonging amidst chaos; it underscores how vulnerable youth are exploited for radical agendas.

The Journey from Radicalization to Redemption

Experiences in Conflict Zones

• The speaker discusses their involvement in radicalization and jihad, highlighting a mission that led them to Syria and Israel, where they faced violent opposition.

• A vivid description of the aftermath of conflict is provided, with imagery of bloodshed symbolizing the loss of life among both sheep and children, leading to the title of their book "The Blood of Lambs."

• The emotional weight of carrying a deceased friend back home is shared, emphasizing the personal toll of violence and the promise made to his friend's mother about bringing him home alive.

Reflections on Faith and Society

• The speaker reflects on their oppressive life until meeting Yasser Arafat, who bestowed upon them a significant title, indicating a shift in their social standing.

• There’s criticism directed at Christians in Lebanon for not engaging with Muslims while prospering themselves; this creates jealousy among Muslims who feel deprived.

Historical Context and Ideological Motivations

• The speaker recounts the Lebanese Civil War's impact on both Christians and Muslims, framing it as part of a larger struggle for power and identity within Lebanon.

• They articulate a call for jihad as an essential aspect of Islam, suggesting that every Muslim has an obligation to pursue this path.

Infiltration into American Culture

• The narrative shifts to America, where the speaker claims efforts are underway to change cultural dynamics through recruitment from various societal sectors.

• Critique is leveled against American churches for complacency during times of crisis like 9/11; there’s an assertion that many have retreated into comfort rather than confronting challenges.

Personal Crisis and Transformation

• After experiencing a severe car accident that left them physically devastated, the speaker expresses feelings of abandonment by Allah during this critical moment.

• Despite calling out for divine intervention without response, they recount being cared for by strangers in America who spoke reassuringly during their recovery process.

Encountering Divine Love and Transformation

The Journey of Realization

• The speaker reflects on a moment of deep despair, feeling that their situation is not accidental but part of a divine plan. They express the belief that in God's kingdom, there are no accidents.

• The speaker discusses how the "god of this world" blinds unbelievers to the gospel's truth, emphasizing that they themselves embody the gospel others have been waiting for.

• Upon being discharged from the hospital, multiple men arrive to take them home, showcasing an unexpected display of affection among them which confuses the speaker.

Discovering Unconditional Love

• Introduced to Christianity through acts of love and kindness rather than doctrine, the speaker experiences a new understanding of God characterized by unconditional love and generosity.

• A contrast is drawn between their previous perception of God as one who condemns versus a loving God who forgives and heals. This realization leads to introspection about who truly is the enemy in their life.

Embracing Community and Change

• The community surrounding the speaker forgives debts and demonstrates unconditional love, prompting a desire within them to learn more about this new understanding of God.

• As they engage with Christians more deeply—breaking bread together—the speaker feels safe for the first time in their life, leading to significant personal transformation.

Seeking Connection with Allah

• Despite feeling welcomed by Christians, the speaker struggles with their past beliefs. They cry out to Allah for connection while observing what seems like unanswered prayers compared to those around them.

• In desperation, contemplating ending their life due to fear from family repercussions for converting away from Islam, they call out for help from Allah amidst feelings of abandonment.

Divine Encounter and Transformation

• In a pivotal moment before taking drastic action, they hear God's voice calling them by name three times. This encounter shifts everything as they seek confirmation from God regarding His existence.

• Experiencing an overwhelming presence filled with glory leads to physical healing; broken bones are restored. The encounter solidifies their commitment as they declare willingness to live fully for God’s purpose.

• The revelation culminates in recognizing Jesus as Lord—a transformative moment where past identities dissolve into newfound faith and purpose.