World Leading Therapist: 3 Simple Steps To Remove Your Negative Thoughts: Marisa Peer | E154

Understanding Marisa Peer's Childhood

In this section, Stephen Bartlett interviews Marisa Peer and asks her about her childhood. Marisa talks about her parents and how they influenced her beliefs.

Marisa's Childhood

• Marisa had a beautiful mother who was deeply unfulfilled and a father who was deeply intellectual.

• She struggled with the belief that she wasn't enough throughout her childhood, teens, and twenties.

• Her father loved his career as a head teacher and helped kids every day.

Becoming a Hypnotherapist

In this section, Marisa Peer talks about becoming a hypnotherapist. She discusses how she trained with Britain's number one hypnotherapist and developed her own method called Rapid Transformational Therapy.

Becoming a Hypnotherapist

• Marisa trained to become a therapist for 35 years.

• She trained with Britain's number one hypnotherapist who guaranteed his work with millionaires and movie stars.

• After training, she realized that some of the interesting beliefs people have are not true such as depression being genetic or incurable.

• She developed her own method called Rapid Transformational Therapy which is profound and transformational.

Identifying Root Causes in Therapy

In this section, Marisa Peer talks about identifying root causes in therapy. She explains that it is important to collate the one thing which is different for each client because no matter how amazing your teacher is, every client will teach you something.

Identifying Root Causes in Therapy

• Marisa teaches amazing therapists and believes that it is important to identify the root cause of each client's problem.

• She says that every client will teach you something, even if they have heartbreaking cases.

• Marisa's clients became her teachers and taught her so much about therapy.

• She created her own method called Rapid Transformational Therapy which collates the one thing which is different for each client.

My Parents Relationship Was a Car Crash

The speaker talks about their parents' relationship and how it was problematic.

Key Points:

• The speaker describes their parents' relationship as a "car crash."

Flawed Parenting vs. Flawed Person

The speaker discusses the difference between flawed parenting and being a flawed person.

Key Points:

• The speaker explains that having flawed parenting does not mean that you are a flawed person.

• They talk about how important it is to make peace with your upbringing in order to move forward.

Reframing Thoughts

The speaker talks about the power of reframing thoughts and how it can be a game changer.

Key Points:

• Reframing thoughts can take 21 days or 21 seconds, depending on the situation.

• Every thought you think is like a blueprint that your mind, body, and psyche work to make real.

Identifying Self-Stories

The speaker discusses how to identify self-stories and where they come from.

Key Points:

• Start by observing your thoughts and identifying limiting beliefs.

• Ask yourself where these thoughts came from and try to trace them back to their origin.

Treating the Purpose

The speaker talks about the importance of treating the purpose behind behaviors, rather than just the behavior itself.

Key Points:

• Treating the purpose behind a behavior is more effective than just treating the behavior itself.

• Ask questions to understand why someone engages in a certain behavior and what it gives them.

Finding What's Right

The speaker discusses how to find what's right about a behavior or situation.

Key Points:

• Instead of focusing on what's wrong with a situation or behavior, try to find what's right about it.

• Understanding why someone engages in a certain behavior can help you treat the underlying issue.

Understanding the Impact of Parenting

The speaker discusses how our beliefs about ourselves and the world are shaped by our childhood experiences, particularly our relationship with our parents.

Impact of Childhood Experiences

• Childhood experiences shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world.

• Living in a world of not feeling can be exhausting.

• Our beliefs about ourselves and others can change rapidly when we gather new information.

• A good therapist can help us investigate and understand why we have certain beliefs.

Investigating Parenting Styles

• Investigating parenting styles can help us understand why we have certain beliefs.

• Looking at information objectively can lead to a rapid change in beliefs.

• Flawed parenting does not mean that the child is flawed.

Overcoming Negative Beliefs

• Removing toxic beliefs is like extracting a tooth, but it doesn't mean that you are flawed.

• Upgrading your belief system is possible with the right support.

Wiring and Firing

The speaker talks about the importance of treating the purpose behind our actions, rather than just the symptoms.

Treating the Root Cause

• The speaker discusses how treating the root cause of our actions can lead to happiness.

• Muhammad Ali's example of telling himself he was the greatest is used to illustrate this point.

• The speaker emphasizes that we should focus on what's right with us instead of what's wrong.

• The mind doesn't differentiate between true or false, good or bad, so it's important to tell ourselves positive things.

Understanding Our Beliefs

• The speaker suggests that we need to understand why we do certain things and treat the underlying beliefs.

• He shares an example of a man who became an alcoholic because his father took him to a pub and got him drunk at 16.

• After his father died, he continued drinking as a way to bond with his dad's memory.

Conclusion

• It's important to understand why we do certain things and treat the underlying beliefs in order to make positive changes in our lives.

Realizing the Two Percent

In this section, the speaker talks about how to overcome addiction and become part of the two percent who succeed.

Overcoming Addiction

• Drinking is not necessary to succeed.

• Realize that playing just two percent means you have to do something different.

• Treat the cause of drinking instead of just trying to stop drinking.

• Surviving cancer is a 20% chance, but it can be changed forever by taking action.

The Power of Awareness

In this section, the speaker discusses how awareness can help people change their lives and achieve their goals.

Changing Your Mindset

• Our mind and body work together to keep us in our comfort zone.

• People live in self-defense mode because they are afraid of change.

• The strongest force in humans is resistance to change.

• Opening your mind starts with awareness.

Pessimism vs Optimism

In this section, the speaker talks about pessimism and optimism and how they affect our lives.

Being an Optimist

• Being an optimist means being a good detective.

• Negative thoughts can hold us back from achieving our goals.

• People often feel like they are messed up and don't know why.

This transcript is relatively short, so there are only three sections. The first section talks about overcoming addiction, the second section discusses the power of awareness, and the third section talks about pessimism vs optimism.

Everything's Going Wrong

In this section, the speaker talks about how introducing doubt can be helpful in therapy and how questioning beliefs can open up new possibilities for people. The importance of having a positive mindset is also discussed.

Introducing Doubt

• Doubting beliefs can be helpful in therapy.

• Questioning a belief can introduce doubt, which may hurt but is necessary for growth.

• When people start to question their beliefs, they open up to new possibilities.

Positive Mindset

• Having a positive mindset is important.

• Muhammad Ali believed he was the greatest and told himself a better lie.

• We should tell ourselves positive things to create a better life.

Beliefs and Blueprints

In this section, the speaker discusses how our thoughts become blueprints that shape our lives. They talk about how we often hold onto limiting beliefs from childhood and how these beliefs can still affect us as adults.

Childhood Beliefs

• Our childhood beliefs shape our lives.

• The speaker gives an example of feeling like an outsider due to wearing second-hand clothes as a child.

• Childhood beliefs are deeply held and may never completely vanish.

Limiting Beliefs

• Limiting beliefs are still present even if we don't believe them anymore.

• The speaker wonders if telling themselves limiting beliefs throughout their life has affected them.

• Triggering events can bring back childhood beliefs.

Conclusion

In this section, the speaker concludes by discussing the power of beliefs and how they shape our lives. They emphasize the importance of questioning our beliefs and creating positive blueprints for ourselves.

Power of Beliefs

• The speaker felt the power of a limiting belief about relationships.

• Limiting beliefs are powerful and affect us even as adults.

Questioning Beliefs

• We should question our beliefs to open up new possibilities.

• Telling ourselves positive things can create a better life.

Positive Blueprints

• Creating positive blueprints for ourselves is important.

• We play the only part we've ever known, but there may be other parts we could take on.

The Power of Thoughts

In this section, the speaker talks about how thoughts can affect our feelings and actions.

The Impact of Negative Thoughts

• Negative thoughts such as "I'm not enough" can lead to negative emotions like sadness, anger, and resentment.

• Many people in the Western world struggle with feeling like they are not enough.

• Changing negative thoughts to positive ones can have a profound impact on our lives.

How Thoughts Affect Actions

• Our thoughts often dictate our actions or lack thereof.

• Using negative language such as "I can't" or "I'm a loser" can justify inaction and limit personal growth.

The Importance of Positive Self-Talk

• Practicing positive self-talk and changing negative thought patterns can lead to more positive emotions and behaviors.

• By shifting from negative self-talk to positive affirmations, we can change our mindset and improve our lives.

Changing Thoughts to Change Behavior

In this section, the speaker talks about how changing one's thoughts can lead to changes in behavior. She gives an example of a woman who thought her abusive husband was a good provider and how changing that thought led to positive changes in her life.

Changing Thoughts Can Change Behavior

• Changing one's thoughts can lead to changes in behavior.

• Example of a woman who changed her belief that her abusive husband was a good provider and made positive changes in her life.

• It is important to examine our beliefs and question whether they are true or false.

• Educating oneself on what love truly is can help avoid being in harmful relationships.

Love vs. Harmful Relationships

In this section, the speaker discusses the difference between love and harmful relationships. She shares personal experiences with struggling with relationships and realizing that being hit by a partner is not love.

Love vs. Harmful Relationships

• Being hit by a partner is not love.

• Educating oneself on what love truly is can help avoid being in harmful relationships.

• Sometimes it is necessary to educate others on what love truly means and why certain behaviors are not acceptable.

• Personal experiences with struggling with relationships and realizing what true love means.

Questioning Beliefs

In this section, the speaker talks about how questioning beliefs can lead to personal growth and learning.

The Importance of Questioning Beliefs

• Questioning beliefs is important for personal growth.

• Introducing doubt through questioning beliefs can help individuals learn and avoid stagnation.

• Making mistakes is often necessary for learning and growth.

Vodafone Business Partnership

• Vodafone Business has developed the V-Hub, a site containing information on the latest digital trends to help small businesses navigate the changing landscape.

• Small business owners can speak with a V-Hub digital advisor for free to discuss their thoughts on their business.

• Staying informed with the latest trends is crucial for small businesses to succeed in today's fast-moving digital space.

Therapist's Perspective

In this section, the speaker shares their perspective as a therapist and discusses a particularly sad case they encountered.

The Role of a Therapist

• A therapist helps individuals face their problems and overcome them by introducing new perspectives.

• A therapist must be able to empathize with people from all walks of life.

Saddest Case Encountered

• The speaker recounts a case where a 14-year-old boy became violent due to his belief that he had no skills to handle his father's physical abuse.

• The power of beliefs can have a profound impact on an individual's life and well-being.

Understanding Childhood Beliefs

In this section, the speaker discusses how deeply held childhood beliefs can impact an individual's behavior and relationships.

Childhood Beliefs

• The speaker wonders if deeply held childhood beliefs ever completely vanish.

• The speaker explains that a client practiced rehearsing a lot to overcome his childhood beliefs.

• Childhood beliefs are still capable of being triggered, even if they seem to have vanished.

• Relationships can feel like prison when childhood beliefs are not addressed.

Overcoming Violence in Relationships

In this section, the speaker discusses how to overcome violence in relationships and change deeply ingrained behaviors.

Changing Behaviors

• The speaker advises that one must start making different choices to change their behavior.

• Repetition is key to changing behaviors.

• It's important to be firm and set boundaries when dealing with abusive behavior.

• Giving children the power to say no can help them develop coping skills.

Impact of Childhood Trauma on Coping Skills

In this section, the speaker discusses how childhood trauma can impact an individual's ability to cope with stressors later in life.

Coping Skills

• Children who experience abuse or trauma may struggle with developing coping skills later in life.

• Hypersensitivity to noise and light can be a symptom of childhood trauma.

• Children who experience abuse may struggle with saying no and setting boundaries.

• Childhood trauma can impact an individual's ability to enjoy certain activities.

Setting Boundaries in Relationships

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of setting boundaries in relationships.

Setting Boundaries

• The speaker advises that one must set boundaries when dealing with abusive behavior.

• It's important to have a calm conversation about setting boundaries rather than shouting back.

• Overcoming deeply ingrained behaviors requires repetition and consistency.

• It's important to give children the power to say no and set their own boundaries.

Marriage as Hard Work

In this section, the speaker discusses how marriage requires hard work and effort from both partners.

Marriage

• The speaker acknowledges that marriage is hard work.

• Both partners need to put in effort to make a relationship work.

• Violence is not an acceptable way of dealing with problems in a relationship.

• Communication is key in any relationship, especially when dealing with difficult issues like abuse or trauma.

Impact of Parental Behavior on Children

In this section, the speaker discusses how parental behavior can impact a child's development and relationships.

Parental Behavior

• The speaker discusses how his father's behavior impacted his own behavior in relationships.

• Children may struggle to overcome deeply ingrained beliefs and behaviors learned from their parents.

• It's important for parents to model healthy behaviors and set a good example for their children.

• Overcoming childhood trauma requires effort and consistency, but it is possible with the right support.

Raising Confident Children

In this section, the speaker talks about how parents can raise confident children by allowing them to express their feelings and opinions.

Allowing Children to Express Themselves

• Encourage children to express themselves and stand up for themselves.

• Teach children that they are enough and lovable just the way they are.

• Avoid telling children not to cry or feel their emotions.

The Power of Words

• Use positive language when speaking with children, such as "you're a great kid" instead of "don't be a baby."

• One word can make a big difference in how a child perceives themselves, such as using "assertive" instead of "mean."

Conclusion

• By allowing children to express themselves and using positive language, parents can help raise confident and self-assured children.

Dealing with Children's Misbehavior

In this section, the speaker talks about how to deal with children's misbehavior and how to communicate with them effectively.

Communicating Effectively

• When a child misbehaves, it is important to communicate effectively.

• Avoid using binary definitive statements like "you can't do that" or "you're so bad."

• Instead of labeling a child as "naughty" or "bad," ask them what's going on and why they did what they did.

• Create a safe space for children to share their feelings and experiences.

Being a Good Provider vs. Being a Good Husband

• The speaker advises against using the term "good provider" when describing someone who is not a good husband or partner.

• It is important to listen to your feelings and not judge your children if they are in an abusive relationship.

• You don't need someone else to provide for you if you have your own resources.

Taking Off the Blinkers

• Sometimes, it takes someone else telling us the truth for us to see things clearly.

• Love shouldn't hurt like that; it's important to ask what's going on and address any issues.

Love and Leadership

In this section, the speaker talks about how love and passion are not always applicable to business and leadership. He emphasizes the importance of asking questions instead of making statements or presumptions.

Love vs Passion in Business

• Love is often associated with passion, but it's not always applicable to business and leadership.

• Passion can be mistaken for love, especially in leadership roles.

• Friendship is also important in leadership, but it's not the same as love.

The Importance of Asking Questions

• It's important to ask questions instead of coming up with answers or making statements.

• People should approach others in a kind way when asking questions.

• Being question-centric removes bias and helps leaders understand their employees better.

Controlling Thoughts

• Our thoughts have a significant impact on our lives.

• Changing our thoughts can change everything.

• We have control over our thoughts, which can lead to controlling our actions and emotions.

Changing Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts

In this section, the speaker talks about how changing your thoughts can change your life. He gives an example of how he helped his daughter change her negative thought pattern.

The Power of Thoughts

• Our thoughts have a significant impact on our lives.

• We can control our thoughts and change them at any time.

• Not thinking negative thoughts can change our lives.

Helping Others Change Their Thoughts

• The speaker helped his daughter change her negative thought pattern by asking questions.

• Changing your thoughts can change everything in your life.

• It's not always easy to change your thoughts, but it's possible.

Conclusion

In this section, the speaker concludes by summarizing the importance of controlling our thoughts and changing them when necessary.

Controlling Our Thoughts

• Controlling our thoughts is essential for a better life.

• Everything starts with a thought, and we have the power to change it.

• Changing our thoughts is not always easy, but it's worth it for a better life.

"I Can't" to "I Can"

In this section, the speaker talks about how changing one's mindset from "I can't" to "I can" can make a big difference in achieving success. She shares her experience of working with children and how she helps them change their negative self-talk.

Changing Mindset

• Changing one's mindset from "I can't" to "I can" is important for achieving success.

• The speaker worked with children who had negative self-talk and helped them change it.

• When people stop judging themselves and others, they become more open to learning and making mistakes.

• Making mistakes is part of the learning process, and people should not be afraid of failing.

Navigating a Fast-Moving Digital Landscape

In this section, the speaker talks about the importance of staying informed about the latest trends in digital technology. She shares a personal story about how she and her husband navigated a potentially disastrous situation by staying informed.

Staying Informed

• It is important to stay informed about the latest trends in digital technology.

• The speaker shares a personal story about how she and her husband stayed informed during a potential crisis.

• Vodafone Business offers resources like V-Hub to help small businesses navigate the changing digital landscape.

• Staying informed can help businesses succeed in an ever-changing market.

Importance of Listening

In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of listening when communicating with others. She shares a personal story about how she misinterpreted her husband's behavior and how it led to a misunderstanding.

Importance of Listening

• Listening is important when communicating with others.

• The speaker shares a personal story about how she misinterpreted her husband's behavior due to not listening.

• Misunderstandings can be avoided by actively listening to others.

• Effective communication requires both speaking and listening.

Dealing with a Violent Father

In this section, the speaker talks about how he dealt with a violent father and shares some insights on how to handle such situations.

Confronting the Father

• The speaker's father became violent at school because he thought his son didn't love him anymore.

• The speaker confronted his father and told him that he cannot put his hands on him.

• The speaker advised his girlfriend's son to tell his dad not to put his hands on him.

Taking Responsibility

• The father refused to take responsibility for his actions, but eventually realized that he needed to stop being violent.

• The family had an important conversation where they all took responsibility for their actions.

Being Mature

• It takes a certain type of maturity to admit when you're wrong and take responsibility for your actions.

• Men often don't admit when they're wrong because they think it makes them weak.

Giving Power to Children

• Giving children a voice is important, especially in abusive situations where they may feel powerless.

Overall, the speaker provides insights into dealing with violent behavior from parents or loved ones. He emphasizes taking responsibility for one's actions and giving power to children in abusive situations.

The Fear of Being Wrong

In this section, the speaker talks about how the fear of being wrong can create problems for children and teenagers. She emphasizes the importance of allowing kids to make mistakes and learn from them.

Allowing Kids to Make Mistakes

• The fear of being wrong can prevent kids from learning.

• It's important to allow kids to have a say and express themselves.

• Kids should be taught that it's okay to be flawed.

• Trying to be perfect can lead to loneliness.

Admitting When You're Wrong

• It's important for parents to admit when they're wrong.

• Apologizing can make people like you more.

• Teaching kids that it's okay to make mistakes is crucial.

• Swallowing your feelings can be harmful.

Letting Kids Feel

• Allowing kids to feel their emotions is important.

• Parents should let their partners know when they've made a mistake.

• Letting children feel their emotions is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Communicating with Healthy Self-Esteem

In this section, the speaker talks about how people with healthy self-esteem take responsibility for their actions and communicate effectively.

Taking Responsibility

• People with healthy self-esteem take responsibility for their mistakes.

• Taking responsibility builds trust and helps people feel safe sharing their feelings.

Effective Communication

• Effective communication involves listening to others and taking responsibility for your actions.

• Responding to someone's feelings by acknowledging them can help build trust and make them feel heard.

Understanding Feelings

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of understanding our own feelings and those of others.

Assessing Yourself

• Being self-analytical can help you understand why you do certain things.

• Listening to your own feelings can help you make better decisions.

Listening to Others

• When someone shares their feelings, it's important to listen without judging.

• Making someone feel heard can help them feel significant and valued.

The Importance of Asking Questions

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of asking questions and being question-centric in business and leadership.

Benefits of Being Question-Centric

• Being question-centric can help individuals feel heard and significant.

• It is a gift to give someone just hearing questions and being kind to them.

• Even if it doesn't make sense removed from having a bias or presumption, saying "I get it" can make someone feel heard.

• Coming with questions instead of statements can be more effective in leadership.

Examples of Applying Question-Centric Approach

• When upset, instead of coming with answers, come with statements such as "I hear how I upset you. I really feel bad."

• In Joe's case study in the book, he used a question-centric approach when dealing with an issue with an employee.

• Instead of making presumptions about someone's diet or exercise habits, ask questions such as "What's going on?" or "Do you want to talk about it?"

Evolutionary Perspective on Food Choices

In this section, the speaker discusses our evolutionary preference for sugar and how it affects our food choices.

Our Preference for Sugar

• From an evolutionary point of view, sugar was a good food because it provided us with a lot of calories.

• We are wired to prefer sugar because it gives us a lot of calories.

Making Better Food Choices

• Instead of making presumptions about what is good or bad food, ask questions such as "What's going on?" or "Do you want to talk about it?"

• Lettuce may not be as appealing as fruit or honey from an evolutionary perspective, but it can still be a healthy choice.

• We often make the wrong food choices even though we know what is good for us.

Understanding Our Primitive Brain

In this section, the speaker discusses how our primitive brain is wired to respond to certain stimuli and how it affects our behavior.

Wired to Eat

• Our primitive brain still believes in feast or famine, which is why we tend to overeat when food is available.

• We are hardwired to eat and sometimes have a difficult time fighting our primitive wiring.

• We are wired to be scared of hunger, which can make us irrational about food choices.

Wired for Fat

• We are wired to go for fat because it provides more energy than other nutrients.

• Pringles and potato chips are popular because they provide both crunch and fat.

Changing Our Story

• The stories we tell ourselves about food can influence our behavior.

• It's important to understand the story we're telling ourselves so that we can change it if necessary.

The Diet Industry and Self-Hatred

In this section, the speaker discusses how the diet industry perpetuates self-hatred and abuse towards oneself.

Punishing Ourselves

• The diet industry is based on self-hatred and punishing oneself for not meeting certain standards.

• Using language like "naughty" or "bad" when referring to food choices reinforces negative self-talk.

Changing Our Language

• Reframing our language around food can help us develop a healthier relationship with it.

• Instead of using language that reinforces negative self-talk, we can use more neutral or positive language.

Conclusion

In this section, the speaker concludes by summarizing the main points of the talk and encouraging listeners to be kinder to themselves.

Key Takeaways

• Our primitive brain is wired to respond to certain stimuli, which can affect our behavior around food.

• The diet industry perpetuates self-hatred and abuse towards oneself.

• Changing our language around food can help us develop a healthier relationship with it.

Final Thoughts

• We should strive to be kinder to ourselves and not punish ourselves for not meeting certain standards.

The Power of Words and Pictures

In this section, the speaker discusses how the way we feel is down to the pictures we make in our head and the words we say to ourselves. He emphasizes that we are free to change these pictures and words, which can change everything.

The Importance of Pictures and Words

• The way we feel is down to the pictures we make in our head and the words we say to ourselves.

• We can change these pictures and words, which can change everything.

• Taking responsibility for our thoughts and beliefs is a sign of maturity.

• Looking at every thought or feeling and examining the pictures and words associated with it can help us take control of our emotions.

Changing Beliefs

In this section, the speaker talks about how beliefs are just beliefs, not necessarily facts. He encourages listeners to challenge their beliefs by examining the pictures they associate with them.

Challenging Beliefs

• Beliefs are just beliefs, not necessarily facts.

• Examining the pictures associated with our beliefs can help us challenge them.

• Being defensive or blaming others prevents us from admitting when we're wrong.

• Being wrong doesn't mean that we're weak; it's important to be open to learning from mistakes.

Understanding the Mind

In this section, the speaker talks about how human beings are complicated and that the mind is very complex. However, there are only three things one needs to know to get around in life.

Three Things to Know About Your Mind

• The first thing to know is that everyone is flawed.

• The second thing is that relationships are important and being "floorsome" can help you connect with others.

• The third thing is that if you can't be wrong, your mind will do what it thinks you want it to do.

Choosing Relationships Wisely

In this section, the speaker talks about how choosing relationships wisely can make a big difference in our lives.

What Do You Want?

• It's important to think about what we want in a relationship.

• We should choose people who share our vulnerabilities and tensions.

• By doing so, we can make our lives much better.

Changing Our Thoughts

In this section, the speaker talks about how changing our thoughts can change our lives.

Making Mistakes

• Making mistakes is human and forgiving is divine.

• We have to not punish ourselves for making mistakes.

Understanding Responsibility

In this section, the speaker talks about how taking responsibility can help build trust and self-esteem. He explains that accepting one's mistakes and being able to communicate them is an important step towards building healthy self-esteem.

Taking Responsibility

• Responsibility means "an ability to respond" and involves a three-step process:

• Being aware of what you're feeling

• Accepting your feelings without judgment

• Articulating your feelings to others

• Taking responsibility for dealing with hard feelings allows you to understand that they are normal and helps you feel heard.

• When someone takes responsibility, it builds trust because it shows that they are willing to be accountable for their actions.

• Triple A (Ability to Respond Appropriately) is a formula for taking responsibility that can be applied in any situation.

Building Self-Esteem

• Taking responsibility can help build healthy self-esteem because it shows that you have the ability to respond appropriately.

• People with healthy self-esteem recognize their mistakes but don't judge themselves harshly for them.

• Accepting your mistakes and communicating them helps build trust with others, which in turn builds self-esteem.

The Importance of Feeling Heard

In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of feeling heard and understood. She explains that acknowledging and accepting one's feelings is crucial to feeling significant and worthy.

Acknowledge, Accept, Articulate

• Hear someone out when they express their feelings.

• Don't dismiss someone's feelings as overreacting or being dramatic.

• Feelings are real and should be acknowledged.

• When you feel heard, you feel more significant.

Living in Accordance with Your Feelings

In this section, the speaker discusses how living in accordance with your feelings can lead to a healthier mindset. She explains that awareness, acceptance, and articulation are key to understanding and managing your emotions.

Managing Your Emotions

• Be aware of your emotions.

• Accept your emotions without judgment.

• Articulate your emotions to others.

• Live in accordance with what you know about yourself.

Understanding Our Relationship with Food

In this section, the speaker talks about our relationship with food from an evolutionary perspective. She explains that our bodies have evolved to crave certain foods for survival purposes but acknowledges that we need to make conscious choices about what we eat.

Evolutionary Perspective on Food

• Our bodies have evolved to crave certain foods for survival purposes.

• Honey or fruit would have been considered good food thousands of years ago.

• Men express a lot of fructose, which would have been beneficial for survival.

• We need to make conscious choices about what we eat.

The Primitive Brain and Food

In this section, the speaker talks about how our primitive brain is wired to prefer sugar and fat, and how it can be hard to fight these cravings.

Sugar Cravings

• Young men are wired to prefer sugar because it gives them a lot of energy.

• Our primitive brain still believes that sugar is essential for survival, which is why we crave it so much.

• We're wired to be scared of hunger, which makes us want to eat more sugar.

Fat Cravings

• Our feelings are also wired to go for fat. Pringles and potato chips are the new cigarettes because we love the fat.

• We tune into them and love the crunch because we have stress receptors that love biting and feeling crunchy.

Changing Your Relationship with Food

• It's important to understand your cravings instead of talking yourself out of them or punishing yourself for having them.

• Accepting your feelings and understanding why you have certain cravings can help you change your relationship with food.

Closing Tradition

In this section, the host talks about a closing tradition on their podcast where the previous guest writes a question for the next guest.

Previous Guest Question

• The previous guest has written a question for the next guest: "How you eat is only down to the pictures you make in your head."

Importance of Pictures and Words

• According to the host, the way you feel is down to the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself.

• Therapy can be condensed into changing these pictures and words.

• The host has worked with everyday people, school teachers, police officers, stay-at-home moms, billionaires, millionaires, Olympic athletes, sports stars, and movie stars using this approach.

Core Issue

• The core issue that many people face is feeling like they are not enough.

• This feeling is not true but becomes true if it is repeated often enough.

Takeaway

• Changing our thoughts and feelings by changing our pictures and words can lead to significant changes in our lives.

Understanding the Complexity of Depression

In this section, Marissa discusses how depression is a complex issue and how treatment can be equally complex. She explains that the mind is hardwired to keep returning to what's familiar, even if it's not good for us.

The Complexity of Depression

• Depression is a very complex issue.

• Human beings are complicated and the mind is hardwired to keep returning to what's familiar.

• A headache caused by toxic fumes and a headache caused by the way you feel about something both hurt the same.

• Our minds are wired to keep returning to what's familiar, even if it's not good for us.

Simplifying Therapy

• Simplify therapy by treating every client as if they're fascinating and compelling.

• Therapy can make anything better by simplifying it.

• The word "cure" comes from "curious." Be curious about your mind and simplify things.

Positive Attention

• Marissa thanks someone for writing a brilliant book centered around case studies of patients who have evolved positively.

• Real stories make it easier to relate things and apply them in our own lives.

• The book makes psychology more relatable than textbooks do.

Importance of Acceptance

In this section, Marisa Peer talks about the importance of acceptance and how it can help people deal with hard feelings.

Accepting Hard Feelings

• Marisa Peer talks about understanding that hard feelings are a natural part of life.

• She explains how accepting these feelings can allow people to behave in a different way and cure some insecurities.

• Marisa encourages people to be aware of what they're feeling and accept it as one of the most amazing things in life.

The Power of Simplicity

• Marisa Peer introduces her Triple A formula for dealing with hard feelings: Awareness, Acceptance, Action.

• She explains that the simplicity of the formula is what makes it so powerful and easy to use.

• Marisa emphasizes that being aware of your feelings is the first step towards change.

Dealing with Envy

In this section, Marisa Peer talks about dealing with envy and jealousy.

Acknowledging Your Feelings

• Marisa Peer acknowledges feeling envious when talking about her sponsor Crafted.

• She explains how acknowledging your feelings out loud can help you deal with them more effectively.

Finding Solutions

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The Lion: A Contradiction of Power and Love

In this section, the speaker discusses how lions can be both powerful and loving animals, and how this duality can be seen as a contradiction.

Lions: Powerful and Loving

• The lion is an animal that embodies power and strength.

• However, lions are also caring creatures that look after their own.

• They can be courageous when necessary to achieve what they want.

• Courage always starts with awareness of one's bravery and ambition.

The Paradox of Power and Love

• This duality in lions can seem like a contradiction.

• People often say you shouldn't be both powerful and calm at the same time.

• But feelings are real, so how can one not feel them?

• This paradox is something to consider when thinking about courage.