Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED

The To-Don't List

The speaker discusses the importance of avoiding time-wasting activities and shares their personal experience of breaking their own rules.

Breaking the Rules

• Last year, the speaker found themselves breaking their own rules of not scrolling on social media, not checking their phone in bed, and not turning on the TV without a specific show in mind.

• Despite intending to go to bed early, the speaker repeatedly stayed up late engaging in unproductive activities.

• As an organizational psychologist, it bothered the speaker that they couldn't explain their own behavior despite not being depressed or burned out.

Languishing: A Sense of Emptiness

The speaker introduces the concept of languishing as a feeling of emptiness and aimlessness.

Discovering Languishing

• The speaker identifies with feeling a little bit aimless and joyless.

• Languishing is described as muddling through days and viewing life through a foggy windshield.

• The audience is asked if they have felt this way recently.

Playing Mario Kart to Rescue

The speaker shares how playing Mario Kart helped them overcome feelings of languishing.

Finding Relief

• Playing Mario Kart rescued the speaker from feelings of languishing.

Chronic Languish during Pandemic

The speaker discusses how languishing became prevalent during the pandemic due to prolonged fear, grief, and isolation.

Groundhog Day Effect

• As the pandemic continued with no end in sight, acute anguish turned into chronic languish.

• The speaker wrote an article about languishing, which gained widespread attention and discussion.

Naming Languishing

The speaker explains how naming the feeling of languishing helped people make sense of their experiences.

Making Sense of Experiences

• Naming languishing provided clarity to puzzling experiences, such as difficulty looking forward to the future even after getting vaccinated.

• Revenge bedtime procrastination is mentioned as a behavior associated with languishing.

Languishing as Part of Human Condition

The speaker emphasizes that languishing is not unique to the pandemic and discusses its impact on focus and motivation.

Disrupting Focus and Motivation

• Languishing can disrupt focus and dampen motivation.

• It is a risk factor for depression as it often goes unnoticed or unaddressed.

• Languishing is difficult to spot and talk about in many cultures due to societal pressure for constant optimism (toxic positivity).

Challenging Toxic Positivity

The speaker challenges the notion of toxic positivity and provides examples.

Toxic Positivity

• Toxic positivity refers to the pressure to always be optimistic and upbeat.

• Two volunteers are asked to share good things about their lives, highlighting how toxic positivity can dismiss genuine feelings.

Due to limitations in the transcript, some sections may have been combined or condensed.

New Section

This section discusses the concept of flow and its impact on well-being.

Flow and Well-being

• Flow, coined by psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, refers to a state of total absorption in an activity.

• Flow is characterized by losing track of time and a sense of self.

• Bingeing on activities like watching Netflix provides temporary escape but does not cure languishing.

• Peak flow depends on active participation in the real world.

New Section

This section highlights the author's personal experience with finding flow during the pandemic.

Finding Flow in Mario Kart

• During the pandemic, playing Mario Kart online with family became a source of joy and engagement.

• The author's children were excited about playing together and it brought the family closer.

• Playing Mario Kart provided a sense of mastery, mindfulness, and mattering.

• Small wins, such as winning a race or achieving milestones, contribute to the feeling of mastery.

New Section

This section introduces the Mario Kart theory of peak flow based on three conditions: mastery, mindfulness, and mattering.

The Mario Kart Theory of Peak Flow

Mastery

• Mastery involves experiencing progress and small wins in daily activities.

• Small accomplishments can bring happiness and motivation.

• Examples include playing Scrabble or baking bread for the first time.

Mindfulness

• Mindfulness requires focusing full attention on a single task.

• In today's world filled with distractions like constant email checking, creating better boundaries is essential for finding flow.

Mattering

• Mattering refers to feeling that one's actions have significance or make a difference.

• Engaging in activities that align with personal values can enhance mattering.

Timestamps are provided for each section to easily locate the corresponding part of the video.

New Section

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of treating uninterrupted blocks of time as treasures to guard.

Treating Uninterrupted Blocks of Time as Treasures

• The speaker emphasizes that there is nothing magical about specific days or times for productivity.

• It is crucial to value and protect uninterrupted blocks of time.

• These uninterrupted blocks allow for focus and concentration, leading to better outcomes.

New Section

In this section, the speaker introduces the concept of mastery, mindfulness, and mattering in achieving a peak experience.

Mastery, Mindfulness, and Mattering

• Mastery and mindfulness contribute to achieving a state of flow.

• Mattering refers to knowing that one's work makes a difference to other people.

• When individuals feel that their work matters and has an impact on others, it enhances their overall experience.

New Section

In this section, the speaker shares an anecdote about studying fundraising callers and how showing them that their work mattered led to significant improvements.

Showing Work Matters

• The speaker conducted experiments with fundraising callers who were struggling.

• By randomly assigning them to meet a student whose scholarship was funded by their work, their motivation increased significantly.

• Focusing on the meaningful purpose behind their work improved their performance and engagement.

New Section

In this section, the speaker highlights the importance of knowing the people who benefit from one's work in finding flow.

Knowing Whose Lives Are Impacted

• To find flow in projects or tasks, it is essential to consider those who would be worse off if your job didn't exist.

• Knowing their names, faces, and stories can enhance motivation and engagement.

• Projects that directly benefit these individuals can lead to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

New Section

In this section, the speaker reflects on the personal experience of playing Mario Kart and how it brought joy and connection.

Personal Experience with Mario Kart

• Playing Mario Kart provided a sense of mastery and mindfulness.

• It also created opportunities for connection and bonding with family members.

• The speaker realized that love is not measured by frequency but by the depth of connections formed through shared experiences.

New Section

In this section, the speaker emphasizes that finding joy and having fun with loved ones can be an antidote to languishing.

Antidote to Languishing

• The speaker suggests that peak moments of flow often come from enjoying activities with loved ones.

• It is important to prioritize joyful experiences in daily life.

• Mental health and well-being should be redefined beyond just absence of depression or burnout.

New Section

In this section, the speaker encourages listeners to identify their own versions of "Mario Kart" where they find mastery, mindfulness, and connection with important people in their lives.

Finding Mastery, Mindfulness, and Connection

• Each individual should reflect on activities or projects where they experience mastery, mindfulness, and connection with loved ones.

• These moments contribute to overall well-being and fulfillment.

• Identifying these areas can help individuals prioritize them in their lives.

New Section

In this section, the speaker highlights the importance of rethinking our understanding of mental health and well-being.

Rethinking Mental Health

• Not feeling depressed does not necessarily mean one is not struggling.

• Absence of burnout does not equate to being fully engaged or motivated.

• It is okay to acknowledge and express feelings of languishing when asked about one's well-being.

The transcript is in English, so the notes are also provided in English.