03 LA PAREJA

Understanding Relationship Conflicts

The Emotional Impact of Conflicts

• If conflicts with your partner cause feelings of being unloved or insecure, this video aims to help you understand why and how to transform these discussions into opportunities for deeper connection.

• Aamarina, a holistic psychologist, shares insights from her experiences and those of many women she has supported in their relationships.

Misinterpretation of Conflict

• Many believe that the pain from relationship conflicts stems from words or tone used during arguments; however, this is often not the case.

• There are instances where minor disagreements can hurt more than intense conflicts due to underlying emotional wounds rather than the disagreement itself.

Understanding Triggers in Disagreements

• The real issue lies in what a disagreement activates within us emotionally; it’s not merely about differing opinions but perceived threats to the relationship.

• People often react defensively or aggressively during conflicts because they subconsciously perceive them as significant threats rather than simple disagreements.

Identifying Relationship Health

• A key question to assess relationship health is: "How do you feel about your relationship?" Responses indicating blame suggest that partners still care for each other despite issues.

• Indifference towards each other's actions signals a deeper problem—disconnection rather than conflict. This indifference can be more alarming than any argument.

Responsibility and Communication

• Most recurring conflicts stem from past wounds rather than current issues; recognizing this allows for healthier communication without blame.

• A conscious relationship begins when both partners take full responsibility for their feelings and reactions, paving the way for honest dialogue free from resentment.

Understanding Conflict in Relationships

The Nature of Conflict

• The core issue in conflicts is often perceived as rejection rather than disagreement, leading to a survival response from individuals.

• In conflict situations, one partner may attack while the other withdraws, indicating a sense of danger to the relationship rather than a lack of love.

• Viewing conflict as an opportunity for understanding can transform it from a battle into a space for information and healing.

Creating Safety During Conflict

• Effective communication cannot occur when individuals feel unsafe; thus, establishing security is crucial before addressing disagreements.

• Emotional responsibility involves expressing personal feelings instead of blaming the partner, fostering deeper connections during discussions.

The Conscious Dyad Technique

• The "conscious dyad" technique allows partners to share their experiences without interruption or defense, promoting understanding over argumentation.

• This method should not be attempted during high-tension moments; calmness must precede its application for effectiveness.

Steps to Implementing the Conscious Dyad

• Agreement between partners is essential before starting; both must consent to engage in this dialogue process.

• Establish clear rules: one person speaks while the other listens without interruptions or attempts at resolution.

Reflecting and Validating Feelings

• After sharing feelings, the listener reflects back what they heard to ensure understanding and validation of emotions expressed by their partner.

• Once both partners have shared and validated each other's feelings, they express gratitude and work towards small agreements that can be tested in daily interactions.

Transforming Conflict into Connection

• By utilizing these techniques, couples can shift from viewing disagreements as threats to recognizing them as opportunities for growth and connection.

• Addressing underlying emotional needs can lead to healing past wounds within the relationship dynamic.