03 الدورة التأهيلية للحياة الزوجية دوافع الزواج د. محمد خير الشعال

Introduction to Marriage Motivations

Overview of the Session

• The speaker welcomes participants to the third session of a course on marital life, focusing on the motivations behind marriage.

Human Behavior and Motivations

• Human behavior is driven by various motivations; for instance, hunger drives one to seek food. Understanding these motivations is crucial in marriage.

• Couples should be aware of each other's motivations for marrying to ensure a lasting relationship. If not understood, it may lead to conflicts or even divorce.

Key Motivations for Marriage

Six Main Motivations

• The speaker outlines six primary motivations that drive individuals to marry:

• Religious Motivation: Many marry because it is a divine commandment and they seek spiritual rewards associated with marriage.

• Social Motivation: Societal pressures often influence individuals to marry, as being unmarried can attract negative perceptions.

• Sexual Motivation: Physical attraction and sexual needs are significant factors in the decision to marry.

• Parental Motivation: The desire for children can motivate couples to enter into marriage.

• Psychological Motivation: Emotional needs and personal fulfillment play a role in the decision-making process.

• Personal Circumstances: Unique individual reasons also contribute significantly.

Religious Motivation

Importance of Divine Commandments

• Many young people choose marriage as an act of obedience to God's commandments, seeking blessings in their lives through this commitment.

• A strong connection with God within a marriage can lead to harmony and resolution of conflicts between spouses. Conversely, neglecting religious principles may result in unhappiness within the home.

Social Pressure as a Driving Force

Societal Expectations

• Society often views married individuals positively; thus, unmarried adults face scrutiny regarding their marital status, leading some to marry due to social pressure rather than personal readiness.

• This societal expectation can create tension if one partner desires social engagement while the other does not, potentially leading to conflict within the relationship.

Sexual Attraction and Needs

Physical Desires in Marriage

• Sexual attraction is highlighted as a fundamental motivation for many young people entering into marriage; both men and women experience natural inclinations towards each other that should be acknowledged rather than suppressed.

• Islam recognizes these physical desires as legitimate but emphasizes that they should be expressed appropriately within the confines of marriage for mutual satisfaction and respect between partners.

Conclusion on Marital Dynamics

Balancing Relationships

• The speaker discusses how fulfilling emotional and physical needs contributes significantly toward maintaining healthy relationships; neglecting these aspects could lead partners astray from their commitments.

Dawafiq Al-Zawaji: Understanding the Motivations Behind Marriage

Introduction to Marital Motivations

• The speaker introduces six motivations for marriage, highlighting the first three: religious, social, and sexual. The discussion will continue after a break.

Parental Motivation in Marriage

• The fourth motivation is parental desire; many women marry with the dream of having children. This can lead to conflict if one partner desires children while the other does not.

• Issues may arise when a woman longs for children but her husband is indifferent or opposed to having them, potentially leading to arguments or divorce.

Consequences of Ignoring Parental Desires

• If a couple cannot align on their desire for children, it may result in significant marital strife or separation. The speaker emphasizes that underlying issues often stem from unmet parental desires.

• Islamic teachings prohibit enforced family planning laws that limit childbearing; however, organizing family size based on personal capacity is acceptable.

Psychological Motivations in Marriage

• The fifth motivation discussed is psychological needs. Individuals seek love and affirmation within their relationships; expressing love can strengthen bonds between partners.

• A historical example illustrates how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) openly expressed his affection for his wife Aisha, showcasing the importance of verbal affirmations in marriage.

Importance of Mutual Respect and Recognition

• Partners need mutual respect and recognition; husbands should appreciate their wives' efforts at home. Lack of acknowledgment can lead to dissatisfaction and potential marital breakdown.

• Both spouses require validation from each other—wives need appreciation for managing household responsibilities while husbands seek recognition for their roles.

Addressing Loneliness as a Motivation

• Some individuals marry to escape loneliness but may still feel isolated if they do not engage meaningfully with their spouse post-marriage.

• The speaker warns against neglecting marital duties due to social distractions, emphasizing that fulfilling one's role within marriage is crucial for emotional well-being.

Financial Considerations in Marriage

Dangers of Marrying for the Wrong Reasons

Misguided Motivations for Marriage

• The speaker advises women against marrying a man solely to spite his first wife, warning that such motivations can lead to future unhappiness and potential divorce.

• A saying is referenced: "Whoever marries a woman for her beauty will only gain more troubles; whoever marries for wealth will find poverty; and whoever marries for lineage will face disgrace." This highlights the pitfalls of superficial reasons for marriage.

Observations from Recent Weddings

• The speaker shares an observation about a luxury hotel in an Arab Islamic country that hosted twelve weddings over six months, suggesting a trend in hasty marriages.

• It is noted that many couples who married during this period ended up divorcing within a year, indicating that their motivations were likely flawed or insincere.

Conclusion on Marriage Motivations

• The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding one's motives before entering into marriage, as incorrect motivations can lead to negative outcomes.