The brain in love | Helen Fisher
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This section introduces the speaker and their research on love, including studying people in different stages of love and long-term relationships.
Research on Love
- The speaker and their colleagues have conducted studies using functional MRI brain scanners to study people in different stages of love.
- They have studied individuals who are madly in love, happily in love, recently dumped, and those still in love after 10 to 25 years of marriage.
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The speaker briefly mentions that they will share the short story of their research.
The Short Story
- The speaker mentions that they will share the story of their research without providing further details.
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The speaker describes a temple in Tikal built by Jasaw Chan K'awiil, a Mayan king deeply in love with his wife.
Temple of Jasaw Chan K'awiil
- In Tikal, there is a temple built by Jasaw Chan K'awiil, a Mayan king from the grandest city-state.
- He built the temple for his wife as an expression of his deep love for her.
- The temple is positioned so that during equinoxes, the sun's shadow perfectly bathes both temples.
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The speaker provides more information about Jasaw Chan K'awiil and his relationship with his wife.
Love Story of Jasaw Chan K'awiil
- Jasaw Chan K'awiil was over six feet tall and lived into his 80s.
- Inscriptions suggest that he was deeply in love with his wife and built a temple in her honor.
- The sun's shadow perfectly bathes both temples during equinoxes, symbolizing their eternal connection.
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The speaker highlights the enduring love between Jasaw Chan K'awiil and his wife.
Eternal Love
- Even after 1,300 years, the two lovers still touch and kiss from their tomb, symbolizing their eternal love.
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The speaker emphasizes the universal presence of love in human culture.
Love Across Cultures
- People around the world express love through singing, dancing, composing poems and stories, and telling myths and legends.
- Love is a powerful force that drives people to pine for it, live for it, kill for it, and even die for it.
- Walt Whitman's quote "O I would stake all for you" reflects the intensity of romantic love.
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The speaker mentions that anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in various societies.
Romantic Love in Societies
- Anthropologists have discovered evidence of romantic love in 170 societies worldwide.
- There has never been a society found without some form of romantic love.
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The speaker discusses the challenges associated with romantic love based on college students' responses to specific questions.
Challenges of Romantic Love
- In a study involving college students, almost 95% reported experiencing rejection from someone they loved deeply.
- Similarly, almost 95% admitted to dumping someone who loved them deeply.
- These findings indicate that almost nobody escapes unscathed from experiences of love.
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The speaker shares a powerful love poem and emphasizes the intensity of romantic love.
The Power of Love
- The speaker reads a love poem from an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian, describing the pain and consuming nature of love.
- Romantic love is often described as an obsession that takes over one's thoughts and emotions.
- It can be all-consuming, with someone constantly on your mind.
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The speaker quotes Emily Dickinson's perspective on parting and explores the range of human experiences related to love.
Parting and Love
- Emily Dickinson wrote, "Parting is all we need to know of hell," highlighting the pain associated with separation in relationships.
- Throughout human evolution, countless individuals have suffered due to love, while others experience joy and elation.
- Romantic love is considered one of the most powerful sensations on Earth.
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The speaker explains their decision to study the brain and its connection to romantic love.
Studying Love in the Brain
- Motivated by the power of romantic love, the speaker decided to investigate its neural correlates.
- Their initial study focused on people happily in love, revealing activity in brain regions associated with reward and motivation.
- Dopamine release plays a role in romantic love similar to its effects during cocaine use.
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The speaker elaborates on how romantic love goes beyond a mere high or rush.
Romantic Love as an Obsession
- Romantic love is more than just a temporary high; it becomes an obsession that consumes one's thoughts and sense of self.
- Eighth-century Japanese poet expressed the ceaseless longing and obsession associated with romantic love.
- The speaker emphasizes that romantic love is wild and can intensify when faced with rejection.
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This section discusses the brain regions associated with intense romantic love and the effects of rejection.
Brain Regions Associated with Romantic Love
- Activity was found in three brain regions associated with intense romantic love.
- The reward system for wanting, motivation, craving, and focus becomes more active when you can't get what you want.
- The core of the nucleus accumbens, a part of the brain, becomes active when measuring gains and losses in relationships.
- A brain region associated with deep attachment to another individual is also activated during rejection.
Effects of Rejection
- Rejection in love leads to feelings of intense romantic love and deep attachment to the rejected individual.
- The brain circuit for reward is working during rejection, resulting in intense energy, focus, and motivation.
- Romantic love is described as a drive or basic mating drive that focuses mating energy on one individual at a time.
- Romantic love can be addictive, exhibiting characteristics such as obsession, cravings, distortions of reality, and willingness to take risks for the person.
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This section explores the addictive nature of romantic love and how animals also experience preferences in mating.
Addictive Nature of Romantic Love
- Romantic love is compared to addiction due to its characteristics such as obsession, cravings, tolerance (need for more contact), withdrawals, and relapse.
- It is stated that romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.
Animal Preferences in Mating
- Animals exhibit preferences in mating partners, and ethologists have identified various terms to describe this phenomenon.
- The same brain region or chemicals associated with the reward system are involved in animal attraction.
- Animal attraction can be instant, leading to what is commonly known as "love at first sight."
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This section emphasizes the universality of love and the need for a better understanding of its addictive nature.
Universality of Love
- Love is described as a universal experience among animals.
- Animals exhibit selectivity in choosing mating partners, except when confined in laboratory settings.
Understanding Love's Addictive Nature
- The medical, legal, and academic communities are encouraged to recognize romantic love as one of the most addictive substances on Earth.
- It is important to acknowledge that love has both positive and negative effects on individuals' lives.
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This section discusses how the speaker's understanding and compassion for human life have deepened. They mention feeling sorry for a baby in a carriage and even for the chicken on their dinner plate due to the intensity of the brain system.
Deepened Understanding and Compassion
- The speaker's understanding and compassion for all human life have been deepened.
- They feel sorry for babies in carriages and even chickens on their dinner plate due to the intensity of the brain system.
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In this section, the speaker talks about an experiment conducted with people who are still in love. Using functional MRI, they found that the brain areas associated with intense romantic love remain active even after 25 years.
Long-Term Romantic Love
- An experiment was conducted with people who reported being still in love.
- Functional MRI scans showed that the brain areas associated with intense romantic love were still active.
- This finding suggests that intense romantic love can persist even after 25 years.
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The speaker acknowledges that there are still many unanswered questions about romantic love. They mention their current focus on understanding why individuals fall in love with one person rather than another.
Unanswered Questions About Romantic Love
- There are still many unanswered questions about romantic love.
- The speaker is currently working on understanding why individuals fall in love with one person instead of another.
- Match.com approached them three years ago with this question, which sparked their research interest.
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The speaker discusses various factors that psychologists believe contribute to falling in love with one person over another. These factors include socioeconomic background, intelligence level, good looks, religious values, and childhood experiences.
Factors Influencing Falling in Love
- Psychologists suggest that falling in love with one person over another can be influenced by factors such as socioeconomic background, intelligence level, good looks, religious values, and childhood experiences.
- However, the exact mechanisms of how these factors contribute to romantic attraction are still unknown.
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The speaker proposes that biology may play a role in attracting individuals to certain people. They have developed a questionnaire to assess the expression of dopamine, serotonin, estrogen, and testosterone and observe who chooses whom to love on their dating site called Chemistry.com.
Biology and Attraction
- The speaker believes that biology may influence attraction between individuals.
- They have created a dating site called Chemistry.com where they use a questionnaire to assess the expression of certain chemicals in the brain (dopamine, serotonin, estrogen, and testosterone).
- By analyzing the data from this questionnaire, they aim to gain insights into why people are drawn to specific individuals.
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The speaker shares that 3.7 million people in America and 600,000 people from 33 other countries have taken their questionnaire on Chemistry.com. They express their hope of gaining a better understanding of why individuals feel pulled towards some people but not others based on shared backgrounds and characteristics.
Understanding Attraction Mechanisms
- Approximately 3.7 million people in America and 600,000 people from 33 other countries have taken the questionnaire on Chemistry.com.
- The speaker hopes that by analyzing this data, they will come closer to understanding why individuals feel drawn towards some people but not others despite sharing similar backgrounds and characteristics.
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The speaker emphasizes that while there will always be an element of magic to love, they believe that advancements in understanding various brain mechanisms will shed light on why individuals are attracted to specific people.
Advancements in Understanding Attraction
- The speaker acknowledges that love will always have an element of magic.
- However, they believe that advancements in understanding different brain mechanisms will provide insights into why individuals are pulled towards certain people rather than others.
- They express optimism about gaining a deeper understanding of attraction in the coming years.
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The speaker mentions that our past experiences and memories shape our present behavior and thoughts. They share a personal anecdote about how women tend to seek intimacy through face-to-face talking, while men tend to seek it through side-by-side activities.
Influence of Past Experiences
- Our past experiences and memories have a significant impact on our present behavior and thoughts.
- Women tend to seek intimacy through face-to-face talking, which may be influenced by millions of years of caring for babies and using words for communication.
- Men, on the other hand, tend to seek intimacy through side-by-side activities, possibly influenced by evolutionary factors such as hunting together.
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The speaker explains their motivation for studying human nature and understanding the different ways in which individuals seek intimacy based on gender differences.
Motivation for Studying Human Nature
- The speaker's pursuit of understanding human nature is driven by their observations of how women and men seek intimacy differently.
- By studying these gender differences, they aim to gain a deeper understanding of human behavior and relationships.