Bryce Dallas Howard: How to Preserve Your Private Life in the Age of Social Media | TED

Living in a Public World

This section introduces the concept of living in a public world and the pressure to share more of ourselves than we want. It highlights how everyone now has access to a global audience, making self-exposure a new compulsion.

The Impact of Social Interactions

• In the episode "Nosedive" from "Black Mirror," the protagonist Lacie lives in a futuristic world where everyone rates social interactions.

• The pressure to be liked and fit in leads to a nervous breakdown for Lacie.

Living in Public

• In today's world, everyone has access to a global audience, and we all live in public.

• Some individuals willingly share more about themselves than others.

• There is pressure to share more of ourselves than we want due to the need for relevance, acceptance, and trust.

The Social Experiment

• The current compulsion toward self-exposure is considered one of the biggest social experiments in history.

• We are making life-altering decisions about personal boundaries without guidance or precedent.

Learning from Public Figures

• Athletes, politicians, and entertainers who have lived in the public eye can provide insights on navigating this new era.

• The speaker's family has been involved in entertainment for three generations, contending with putting themselves out there.

A Blueprint for Privacy

This section emphasizes that despite living in a public world, there is still value in cultivating privacy. It discusses how individuals who have experienced fame understand the impact and potential cost of living publicly.

Lessons from Personal Experience

• The speaker's father has been a public figure since childhood as an actor and director.

• Her mother never sought attention but had to adapt when she fell in love with someone famous.

A Passionate Young Person

• The speaker's mother initially ignored the attention of her famous high school classmate.

• She had a vibrant and busy life, focusing on personal growth and supporting her family.

Fame Enters the Picture

• The speaker's father gained fame through roles like Opie in "The Andy Griffith Show" and "Happy Days."

• This visibility extended to the entire family, leading to the realization that they were living in the public eye.

Extreme Parenting Tactics

• The speaker's mother employed extreme parenting tactics to toughen them up for uncomfortable situations.

• No coddling was allowed, and challenges were seen as opportunities to find courage.

Character Over Looks

• The emphasis was placed on character rather than physical appearance.

• Chores and hard work were essential for building confidence and character.

The Value of Privacy

This section highlights the importance of privacy in a public world. It emphasizes that a private life adds value to a public life by preserving its sacredness.

Exposing Ourselves to Public Attention

• When exposing ourselves to any kind of public attention, we need more confidence.

• Cultivating a private life is crucial in this context.

A Private Life Worth Living

• While fame brings blessings, there is an impact and potential cost to living publicly.

• The value of privacy is inherent in what we don't share.

Cherishing Privacy

• Cheryl, like previous generations, emphasized the value of privacy.

• Cultivating a private life is precious and sacred.

New Section

The speaker discusses the importance of maintaining boundaries and privacy in an increasingly connected world.

The World as a Small Town

• The world is now like one big small town.

• Within this virtual town square, there are different tiers of relationships and degrees of intimacy.

• Everyone deserves a different amount of attention and access to our lives.

Setting Boundaries

• It is up to each individual to determine where their boundaries lie.

• Being our own protectors is essential in making decisions about sharing personal information.

The Temptation to Share

• There is a temptation to think that sharing more allows for more connections with others.

• However, there is value in keeping certain aspects of our lives private and reserved for specific individuals.

Living in Public vs Preserving Privacy

• Living in public requires bravery, but preserving a private life empowers us to take chances.

• Encouraging children to participate in the digital world can help them develop their sense of self, but it should be done with caution and guidance.

Principles for Sharing

• Wait 48 hours before posting or sharing personal experiences to be present with loved ones before deciding how to publicly position it.

• Before sharing, ask oneself: Why? What's the purpose? How does it serve the people we love?

Value of Private Life

• True value is measured by the richness of one's private life.

• The legacy created in private can be as powerful and lasting as any public accolade, if not more so.

New Section

The speaker emphasizes the importance of creating a meaningful private life.

Private Life vs Public Accolades

• The richness of one's private life is a true measure of value.

• Access to the private side of oneself is limited to select few or even just oneself.

• The legacy created in private can be as powerful and lasting as any public recognition.