Why Narcissist Can't Hear YOU or Understand What You Are Saying to Him

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The speaker addresses the audience, mentioning a difficult day in Rostovindon, Russia, and introduces the topic of why narcissists block communication.

Why Narcissists Block Communication

• Narcissists struggle with constant incomprehension and surprise at evolving situations.

• Grandiosity in narcissists leads to self-deception and distortion of reality to support their inflated self-view.

• Grandiosity is a cognitive distortion crucial for narcissists to avoid shame and hurt.

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The section discusses how narcissists cope with their grandiosity and the impact of internal voices on their perception of reality.

Narcissist's Coping Mechanisms

• Narcissists are fascinated by their own traits but may misread cues from others, leading to dangerous behaviors.

• Solipsism enhances a narcissist's gullibility and vulnerability, affecting their perception of reality.

• Narcissists cope by redirecting attention to internal voices, suppressing external stimuli.

• Internal voices are generated by the brain predicting sounds, influencing perception of reality.

Internal Speech and Perception

This section delves into how the brain processes internal speech and its impact on external stimuli.

Brain's Prediction Model

• The brain generates internal voices based on predictions about the environment and other people's actions.

• If internal speech matches reality, the brain discards external information to focus on internal dialogue.

• An experiment showed that the brain prioritizes internally produced syllables over external sounds.

Selective Auditory Attention in Narcissists

Exploring how narcissists filter external voices and prioritize internal dialogue.

Narcissistic Behavior

• Normal individuals prefer internal speech matching reality; narcissists prioritize internal voices even when they don't align with reality.

• Narcissists engage in selective auditory attention, filtering out external voices that contradict their self-image.

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The section discusses how a narcissist processes information and selectively retains or ignores stimuli to maintain their grandiosity.

Narcissist's Information Processing

• The narcissist views internal voices as the signal amidst external noise, emphasizing a signal-to-noise ratio.

• Prioritizes internal speech over external information to preserve grandiosity intact.

• Utilizes attentional control by focusing on endogenous attention and suppressing executive attention.

• Engages in selective auditory attention and hearing, pathologized in certain disorders.

Selective Retention and Perception

Explores how a narcissist selectively retains information that aligns with their self-image and beliefs while ignoring contradictory stimuli.

Selective Retention and Perception

• Narcissists exhibit selective retention by remembering messages that support their interests and self-perception.

• Analyzes external input based on personal narratives; retains information that aligns with grandiose narrative.

• Demonstrates selective perception by disregarding stimuli causing emotional discomfort or contradicting beliefs.

Framing of Information

Discusses how a narcissist interprets sensory information through biased frames to uphold existing beliefs.

Framing of Information

• Narcissists categorize sensory input based on personal frames, favoring interpretations that support preconceived notions.

Negative Emotions and Selective Perception

This section discusses how negative emotions impact selective perception in individuals, particularly in narcissists.

Negative Impact of Negative Emotions

• Negative emotions greatly influence selective perception.

• Cognitive biases are based on selective perception and expectations, affecting human judgment and decision-making.

• People introduce mechanisms for prioritizing and filtering information due to an overload of similar data.

• Narcissists exhibit hyper-vigilance through selectively perceiving interactions as potentially manipulative or insulting.

Framing and Communication

This section delves into the concept of framing in communication and its role in shaping perceptions.

Understanding Framing

• Framing involves how individuals perceive reality, communicate, and bridge gaps in understanding.

• Frames consist of mental representations that simplify reality and guide communication between individuals.

• Framing is a social phenomenon that influences how individuals construct meaning within a shared language community.

Unique Frames of Narcissists

This section explores the idiosyncratic frames of narcissists that hinder effective communication.

Narcissistic Frames

• The frames of narcissists are highly individualistic, making them non-communicable to others.

• Narcissists create a false self to facilitate external communication due to the uniqueness of their internal speech.

Challenges in Communication for Narcissists

This section highlights the communication barriers faced by narcissists due to their internal complexities.

Communication Barriers

• The internal speech of narcissists is non-communicable, leading to significant challenges in effective interaction.

Equivalence Frames and Perception

This section explains equivalence frames and their impact on perception, especially concerning narcissistic behavior.

Equivalence Frames

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The differences between a narcissist and a psychopath in terms of manipulating reality and perception.

Narcissist vs. Psychopath

• Narcissists challenge your reality but do not gaslight like psychopaths. They struggle to accept differing perspectives.

• A narcissist aims to control your mind by emphasizing specific elements, magnifying them, and making them the focus of arguments.

• Unlike psychopaths who manipulate consciously, narcissists unconsciously distort reality through speech and behavior.

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Misconceptions about narcissists compared to psychopaths regarding premeditation and conscious manipulation.

Narcissist Characteristics