“Semillas del Bienestar”. ¿Cómo te comunicas con tus hijos? Como padre, como adulto o como niño.

Welcome to the Program

Introduction and Acknowledgments

• The speaker welcomes everyone to the "Semillas para el Bienestar" program, emphasizing its importance for the educational community.

• Gratitude is expressed towards Dr. Salur Fuerte Robles, whose leadership has been pivotal in launching this initiative aimed at community well-being.

• Special mention of guest speaker Armando Joaquín Reyes Pérez, who will discuss effective communication with children—a crucial topic for family dynamics.

Importance of Family Communication

Key Themes of the Conference

• Dr. Fuerte Robles highlights the significance of programs that support families and children, aiming for positive outcomes in child development.

• Emphasis on how communication styles are often influenced by one's upbringing; adults may replicate negative patterns from their own childhood experiences.

Addressing Misconceptions

• Discussion on common misconceptions regarding discipline; violence is not an effective educational tool and perpetuates cycles of abuse across generations.

• Importance of establishing healthy authority without resorting to fear or violence; respect should be cultivated through understanding rather than intimidation.

Promoting Positive Parenting Practices

Shifting Perspectives on Discipline

• Children learn boundaries and discipline positively when approached with respect; good parenting involves setting limits while fostering a supportive environment.

• Clarification that respectful treatment does not equate to permissiveness; it is essential for nurturing a culture of peace within families.

Legal and Social Context

• Recognition that children's rights have historically been overlooked compared to animal rights, highlighting societal shifts needed in perceptions about child protection.

Cultural Change Through Education

Building Healthy Environments

• Advocating for a cultural shift starting at home and in schools where open communication leads to mutual understanding and acceptance among family members.

Role of Educators and Parents

• The role of educators extends beyond teaching children; they must also guide parents toward adopting healthier disciplinary practices based on trust rather than fear.

The Pursuit of Peaceful Communities

Goals for Community Well-being

• The overarching goal is to foster a culture of peace as prioritized by state leaders, which requires consistent efforts in promoting kindness within schools and homes.

Understanding Mediation in Parenting

The Concept of Mediation

• Mediation is described not as a legal term but as a skill that parents must acquire and integrate into daily life, emphasizing the importance of practical application over mere theoretical knowledge.

• The new Mexican educational framework encourages learning through acquisition rather than just familiarity, highlighting the need for active engagement in parenting practices.

Importance of Continuous Learning

• Parents are encouraged to maintain a curiosity for learning more about effective parenting strategies for the benefit of their children, who represent both the present and future.

Introduction to Speaker

• Armando Joaquín Reyes Pérez is introduced as an experienced psychologist with expertise in crisis intervention and psychotherapy, setting the stage for his insights on parenting.

Exploring Parent-Child Relationships

Key Questions for Reflection

• The conference poses critical questions regarding how parents relate to their children: whether they communicate from their parental role, inner child perspective, or adult viewpoint.

Understanding Ego States

• The objective is to help parents recognize how they interact with their children based on three ego states: parent, adult, and child. This understanding can enhance communication dynamics within families.

The Three Ego States Explained

Definition and Relevance

• Ego states are defined as manifestations of personality at any given moment. They encompass thoughts, emotions, and behaviors categorized into three main types: parent, adult, and child.

Behavioral Patterns in Parenting

• A fundamental question posed to parents revolves around recognizing when they react similarly to their own parents' behaviors during interactions with their children. This reflection can reveal inherited patterns in parenting styles.

Characteristics of the Parent Ego State

Parental Influence on Behavior

• The parent ego state embodies feelings and behavioral patterns resembling those of parental figures. It encompasses norms, values, ethics, care, and control—often manifesting through repeated admonitions like "be careful" or "do your homework."

This structured approach provides clarity on key concepts discussed throughout the transcript while allowing easy navigation through timestamps for further exploration.

Understanding Parenting Dynamics

The Balance of Care and Control

• The morning routine before school often involves checking homework, highlighting the tension between care and control in parenting.

• Parents are encouraged to reflect on their communication with children, distinguishing between nurturing (care) and authoritative (control) messages.

• In turbulent times, while it's essential to prioritize children's safety, parents must also consider how excessive control may hinder children's enjoyment of life.

• Subtle behaviors can negatively impact both parents and children; thus, understanding the balance between care and control is crucial for healthy relationships.

Reflecting on Childhood Experiences

• Children often lack vocabulary to express emotions, leading to exaggerated feelings like joy or anger during significant moments such as birthdays or holidays.

• Individuals are prompted to recall happy childhood memories or difficult experiences to understand their emotional influences on parenting styles.

• Reflection on past experiences helps parents assess whether they relate to their children from a childlike perspective or an adult one.

Emotional Reactions in Parenting

• Parents may react emotionally—whether with anger or sadness—reflecting unresolved childhood feelings when dealing with their children's actions.

• Social media trends show humorous reprimands that can confuse children about consequences, emphasizing the need for consistent discipline without overreacting emotionally.

Insights from Psychoanalysis

• Donald Winnicott's concept suggests no parent is "good enough," indicating that perceived shortcomings in parenting contribute to adult functioning.

• Recognizing personal reactions in daily interactions with children is vital for effective parenting; self-awareness leads to better outcomes for both parties.

Achieving Adult Emotional Understanding

• The ideal state of adulthood involves recognizing that emotions aren't inherently good or bad but should be expressed appropriately.

• Effective communication about feelings prevents misinterpretation and promotes healthier relationships within families by prioritizing listening and analysis over judgment.

Understanding Parental Communication

The Importance of Boundaries and Consequences

• Establishing limits is crucial for children to understand consequences; without them, adults may easily disregard boundaries leading to significant conflicts.

• As an adult, it's essential to listen, analyze, and make decisions without judgment while recognizing the validity of emotions from both parents and children.

Reflective Parenting Practices

• Parents should approach their children's needs with calmness, drawing on personal childhood experiences that may evoke complex emotions but ultimately benefit both parties.

• Reflect on recent interactions with your children: consider which aspect of yourself (parent, child, or adult) you reacted from and how a different response might have changed the outcome.

Emotional Awareness in Parenting

• Understanding your comfort level in reacting as a parent versus an adult can enhance emotional expression and communication within the family.

Engaging with Multimedia Resources

• View two videos attentively to explore emotional responses; allow yourself to feel these emotions in a private space for deeper understanding.

Video Analysis: Parent-Child Dynamics

Initial Video Interaction

• The first video focuses on communication challenges between a father and child regarding feelings of neglect and desire for attention.

Key Moments from the First Video

• A child's frustration about feeling unheard leads to an emotional outburst expressing feelings of abandonment by the father.

• The father's realization prompts him to commit to spending quality time together, highlighting the importance of parental engagement.

Exploring Emotional Responses Through Animation

Second Video Insights

• The second video illustrates various emotional states through characters representing different feelings like joy, anger, fear, and disgust as they navigate challenges.

Character Interactions Highlighting Emotions

• Characters attempt to support Riley during her struggles by suggesting activities that could bring her joy despite her current state of unhappiness.

• There’s a clear disconnect between what Riley feels internally versus how she presents herself externally; this highlights common issues in emotional expression among children.

Conflict Resolution Techniques

• Tensions rise when misunderstandings occur between characters; this reflects real-life scenarios where miscommunication can escalate conflicts within families.

Conference on Emotional Communication

Introduction and Context

• The speaker acknowledges the audience, expressing relief at avoiding a potential disaster during the presentation.

• Thanks are given to technical support staff for resolving audio issues, allowing the audience to view and hear two videos.

Discussion of Videos

• The speaker prompts the audience for feedback on the videos, asking them to identify which state of self (parent, adult, or child) they recognized in themselves.

• A second question is posed regarding how emotional reactions (sadness, anger, joy) impact communication with children.

Individual Reflection Exercise

• An individual exercise is introduced where participants can write a message to their child from their adult self.

• Participants are encouraged to express recognition and love in their messages, emphasizing the importance of direct communication.

Emotional Awareness and Therapy

• The speaker highlights that writing may evoke intense emotions that need expression; offers contact information for therapeutic support if needed.

• Reference is made to childhood experiences influencing current interactions with children; emphasizes understanding one's emotional history.

Importance of Safe Spaces

• Citing Mexican psychoanalyst Santiago Ramírez, it’s noted that behavior stems from past experiences; awareness can change responses.

• Emphasizes recognizing all three states of self (adult, parent, child), advocating for conscious use of these states to improve relationships.

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

• Stresses creating nonviolent environments as essential for healthy relationships; links this idea to International Day of Peace.

• Concludes by reiterating the fundamental need for protection in childhood as articulated by Sigmund Freud; encourages reflection on how one communicates this need today.

Discussion on Parenting and Communication

Introduction to the Speaker

• The speaker expresses gratitude for the opportunity to discuss a fascinating topic related to parenting.

• They introduce themselves as a psychoanalyst with over 8 years of experience, also serving as a university lecturer.

Professional Background

• The speaker offers both online and in-person consultations, available in Metepec, State of Mexico, and parts of Mexico City.

• They mention their authorship of two books focused on personal growth and overcoming adversity.

Books Overview

"Porque sin todo lo vivido, el presente no tendría sentido"

• This book discusses how past experiences shape one's present self, emphasizing resilience through adversities.

"¿Qué sostiene la vida?"

• The second book explores what sustains life during difficult times and encourages readers to identify their sources of strength.

Audience Engagement

• The speaker invites questions from the audience after concluding their presentation.

Audience Reactions

Feedback from Viewers

• Positive reactions are noted from parents who reflect on the importance of spending quality time with children.

• Comments highlight concerns about balancing firmness with kindness in parenting styles.

Key Questions Addressed

Improving Communication with Children

• A question arises regarding enhancing communication when children prefer isolation. The speaker suggests using open-ended questions that show genuine interest in children's feelings without making them feel invaded.

Consequences of Poor Communication Styles

• Another question addresses the long-term effects on children raised in environments characterized by shouting or indifference. The speaker acknowledges that such experiences can evoke unresolved issues from parents' own childhood.

Understanding Violence and Communication in Parenting

The Nature of Violence

• Francisco Pereña, a Spanish psychoanalyst, discusses violence as an inherent part of the individual. This concept is shared with students studying psychology and psychological processes.

• Early humans had to exhibit violence and toughness to survive against formidable creatures like mammoths, indicating that such behavior is instinctual for survival.

Cruelty vs. Assertiveness

• There exists a fine line between assertive communication and cruelty. It’s essential to recognize when one crosses into cruelty, which can have significant impacts on relationships.

• Individuals often find themselves in hostile environments—be it work or personal relationships—leading them to compromise their dignity while trying to meet others' expectations.

Impact on Adult Relationships

• Parents may feel inadequate despite their efforts; children perceive these feelings differently as they grow up, leading them to process their childhood experiences in adulthood.

• Each person must confront their own human implications regarding parental adequacy and emotional fulfillment from childhood experiences.

Addressing Childhood Wounds

• A question arises about preventing childhood wounds from affecting communication with one's children. The speaker emphasizes the importance of addressing these issues rather than repeating past traumas.

• Donald Winnicott's idea that "there is no such thing as a perfect parent" highlights that every child will find something lacking in their upbringing that they need to process.

Creating Safe Spaces for Communication

• Establishing neutral spaces for open dialogue about parenting challenges is crucial. Parents should express their struggles without harming their children emotionally.

• Verbalizing emotions allows parents to maintain composure when communicating with children, fostering healthier interactions.

Conclusion and Recognition

• The session concludes with recognition given to psychoanalyst Armando Joaquín Reyes Pérez for his contributions during the conference aimed at improving parent-child communication.