"Confused About Love? Stop Following Your Feelings" | Pastor Bobby Chandler

Name: "Confused About Love? Stop Following Your Feelings" | Pastor Bobby Chandler
Uploaded: 2026-02-16T01:38:05.000Z
Duration: 1 h 40 min 26 s

Understanding Love: A Biblical Perspective

Introduction to the Series

The speaker welcomes attendees and acknowledges those watching online, emphasizing the presence of God in their lives.

Introduces a new series titled "Until Death," humorously addressing the dual themes of marriage and death.

Defining Love

Emphasizes that understanding love requires sacrifice; one must give up selfishness and prioritize others.

Highlights the importance of mutual support in relationships, particularly stressing wives' roles in praying for and encouraging their husbands.

Cultural Confusion About Love

Observes a cultural trend where relationships are treated like temporary trials, akin to Netflix subscriptions, leading to confusion about commitment.

Stresses that memories and experiences within relationships cannot be easily erased or forgotten.

Healing Through Understanding Love

Acknowledges that discussions on love may evoke past hurts but insists on the necessity of confronting these issues for healing.

Plans to address various aspects of love including marriage, singleness, and divorce with sensitivity.

The Role of Jesus in Healing

Quotes Psalm 34:17-18 to illustrate that despite past mistakes or current pain, individuals can call upon Jesus for help.

Clarifies that true healing comes from Jesus alone; relying on partners for emotional fulfillment can lead to disappointment.

Questions About Love in Today's Culture

Notes that similar questions about love arose among early Christians in Corinth due to their culture's indulgence and identity confusion.

Corinth: A City of Chaos and the Birth of a Church

The Cultural Context of Corinth

Corinth was known for its worship of the false deity Aphrodite, with around 12 temples and approximately a thousand male and female prostitutes. Sexual promiscuity was not only tolerated but celebrated as part of life.

This culture promoted indulgence in physical desires, leading to a chaotic environment where God chose to plant a church, demonstrating that anyone can be used by Him regardless of their past.

God's Presence and Paul's Mission

Paul emphasizes that one cannot escape God's presence, referencing Psalm 139:7-10. No matter where one goes, God is always there, showcasing His omnipresence.

In Acts 18:8-11, Paul begins his ministry in Corinth amidst chaos. Despite feeling weak and defeated upon arrival, he receives encouragement from God to continue preaching without fear.

Paul expresses his exhaustion from persecution but is reminded by God that holding back the truth prevents people from being freed from sin. He acknowledges the struggle many face even after experiencing victories.

The Early Church in Corinth

After establishing the church in Corinth just five years prior to writing First Corinthians, Paul addresses questions about marriage among new believers who came from diverse cultural backgrounds.

Confusion Around Marriage Practices

The Roman culture had various forms of marriage which contributed to confusion among believers:

Common Law Marriage: A woman living with a man for one year could be considered legally married if she did not leave for three consecutive nights.

Arranged marriages were common for social status rather than love, resulting in many unhappy unions. This practice is noted throughout biblical texts as problematic.

Modern Parallels and Challenges

Discussions will include scenarios such as believers married to unbelievers and how they should navigate their faith within these relationships.

Traditional wedding ceremonies existed similar to modern practices but lacked the covenantal aspect before God due to differing religious beliefs prevalent at that time.

Divorce in a Chaotic Culture

Divorce was common and easily accessible within this context; understanding these dynamics is crucial for addressing contemporary issues faced by believers today regarding marriage and relationships.

Divorce Culture in Corinth

Understanding Divorce Practices

In Corinth, divorce was easily accessible; one could simply state, "I don't want to be married anymore," without any legal proceedings.

The prevalent culture led to confusion about true love and the sanctity of marriage, as many couples divorced based on fleeting feelings.

Paul addresses those living by emotions rather than biblical principles, emphasizing that feelings can mislead individuals.

Emotional Misguidance

The speaker warns against seeking an easy way out of relationships, highlighting that healing from a divorce is never simple or straightforward.

Divorce impacts not only the couple but also children and friendships, leading to widespread division within families and communities.

Biblical Perspective on Emotions

The heart is described as an unreliable guide; Jeremiah 17:9 states it is deceitful and wicked, cautioning against following one's heart blindly.

Emotions can lead to destructive decisions; Proverbs 14:12 illustrates that paths may seem right but can result in negative outcomes like relationship breakdowns.

Consequences of Emotional Decisions

Acting on emotions can lead to significant relational damage; impulsive actions often result in regret and loss.

Prideful attitudes about deserving happiness can lead individuals astray; humility is essential for personal growth and understanding God's will.

Cultural Context of Corinthian Marriages

Questions arose in Corinth regarding the holiness of marriage versus singleness amidst rampant divorce rates.

A dangerous belief influenced by Gnosticism suggested that physical actions do not affect spiritual well-being, promoting promiscuity without consequence.

Redemption and Healing

Despite past mistakes or temptations, God offers redemption and healing; believers are encouraged to embrace their new identity in Christ.

The message emphasizes that individuals should not dwell on their former selves but instead focus on the transformative power of faith.

Understanding the Body as a Temple

The Impact of Culture on Perception of the Body

The speaker questions why individuals allow external influences to dictate their self-worth and body image, emphasizing that culture promotes a view of the body as property rather than a sacred entity.

Reference is made to 1 Corinthians 6:16-17, highlighting that joining with another person (specifically a prostitute) creates a profound physical and spiritual union.

Physical Union and Spiritual Implications

The speaker asserts that physical unions are not merely physical; they carry significant spiritual weight, referencing Paul's words about becoming "one body" through such acts.

Paul draws from Genesis 2:24 to illustrate that sexual relationships should reflect the sanctity of marriage, contrasting this with casual sexual encounters.

Marriage and Covenant Relationships

The discussion emphasizes that marriage is a covenant where sex fosters oneness, underscoring its importance in God's design for relationships.

The Greek term for "join" implies permanence, suggesting that God views love and commitment as binding and enduring.

Cultural Views vs. Biblical Teachings

A critique is offered regarding modern attitudes towards commitment, where cultural narratives encourage transient relationships over lasting bonds.

The speaker references God's relationship with Israel through Hosea's story to illustrate divine love amidst betrayal, reinforcing the pain associated with infidelity.

Hope and Redemption in Love

Despite discussing painful realities like divorce, there’s an encouragement not to lose hope in love; Jesus exemplifies enduring love despite human failures.

Paul’s message is framed not as condemnation but as truth aimed at liberating individuals by reminding them of their identity in Christ.

Bodies Made for the Lord

Emphasizing 1 Corinthians 6:13, it’s stated that bodies are intended for God’s purpose rather than indulgence or immorality; this highlights divine care for our physical selves.

A call to recognize how one treats their body is made; believers are encouraged to honor God through their actions and relationships.

Holiness in Relationships

The importance of understanding one's body as a temple is reiterated; engaging in unholy practices compromises this sanctity.

Covenant Marriage and Singleness: Understanding God's Plan

The Importance of Trusting God in Relationships

The speaker emphasizes the significance of trusting God, suggesting that He aims to protect individuals from heartbreak caused by pursuing their own ways.

A call is made to follow God's guidance rather than relying on personal judgment, especially regarding relationships.

Addressing Singles in the Context of Scripture

The focus shifts to singles as Paul addresses them in Chapter 7 after discussing the body in Chapter 6.

The speaker encourages singles present to engage with the message, indicating a desire to provide support and insight.

Singleness: A Gift Rather Than a Curse

The speaker asserts that singleness should not be viewed as a curse but rather as a blessing according to biblical truth.

Feelings of abandonment or punishment during periods of waiting for love are acknowledged; however, it is emphasized that God sees and values individuals regardless of their relationship status.

Biblical Perspectives on Singleness and Marriage

Reference is made to 1 Corinthians 7:8, where Paul expresses his wish for everyone to be single, highlighting that each person has unique gifts from God.

Both marriage and singleness are described as blessings serving different purposes; rushing into relationships can hinder personal growth.

Understanding the Benefits of Singleness

Paul describes singleness as a special gift from God, encouraging individuals not to view it merely as a phase but as an opportunity for devotion.

In 1 Corinthians 7:32–35, Paul explains how unmarried individuals can focus more on serving the Lord without divided interests compared to those who are married.

Examples of Single Individuals Who Impacted Faith

Notable biblical figures such as Daniel and Mary Magdalene exemplify how being single allowed them to fulfill significant roles within God's plan without being defined by marital status.

Their stories illustrate dedication and purpose beyond romantic relationships, reinforcing the idea that one's identity can be rooted in faith rather than societal expectations.

Understanding the Call of Singleness and Marriage

The Nature of Calling in Relationships

Paul emphasizes that both marriage and singleness are callings from God, with neither being superior to the other. The focus should be on obedience to God's will.

Obedience is paramount; whether one chooses to remain single or get married, the key is aligning one's life with God's direction and character.

Contentment in Singleness

Some individuals find complete contentment in remaining single, often due to past hurts or a desire for devotion to Jesus.

Paul’s perspective on singleness may stem from his awareness of impending persecution, suggesting that he chose not to bring a family into such danger.

Biblical Examples of Singleness

Jesus Christ serves as a significant example of someone who was single yet fulfilled a monumental calling, demonstrating that one can lead a purposeful life without marriage.

Addressing Struggles with Singleness

Paul acknowledges the struggles faced by singles who desire companionship. He advises that if self-control is lacking, it may be better to marry than succumb to lustful desires.

It’s important not to rush into marriage solely for physical reasons; patience and discernment are crucial in seeking relationships.

The Importance of Waiting

Individuals should recognize their desires for companionship as part of God’s design but must also wait on His timing rather than impulsively entering relationships.

The waiting period is meant for personal growth and understanding true love, rather than simply filling a void through unhealthy relationships.

Lessons During the Waiting Season

Waiting is not punitive but preparatory; it allows individuals time to learn about themselves and what they truly seek in love.

Psalm 27:14 encourages patience while waiting on God, emphasizing bravery and courage during this process.

Misconceptions About Marriage

Marriage does not inherently resolve personal issues like loneliness or insecurity; these challenges must be addressed individually before entering into a relationship.

Personal Growth Before Marriage

Learning how to guard one's eyes against temptation is essential; failing to do so while single can lead to difficulties within marriage.

Developing self-discipline over one's desires now will help prevent future struggles within marital commitments.

Understanding Relationships and Trust in God

The Dangers of Compromise

Life can lead to small compromises that escalate over time, such as minor flirtations turning into significant issues.

To combat these temptations, one must "starve the flesh" and resist cravings that lead to sin.

The Nature of Marriage

Marriage is described as a blessing (Proverbs 18:22), yet it also warns about the challenges within relationships (Proverbs 21:9).

The contrast between marriage being a treasure and the struggles it can bring emphasizes the importance of patience and not rushing into relationships.

Trusting God's Timing

Trust in God is crucial for navigating relationships; waiting on Him does not mean idly sitting but actively preparing oneself through prayer and self-reflection.

True readiness involves aligning one's heart with God's will, ensuring one is prepared to love when the right person comes along.

Jesus as the Center of Relationships

Relationships, especially marriage, should complement individuals rather than complete them; only Jesus can fulfill this role.

The first relationship depicted in Genesis is between mankind and God, highlighting that our connection with Him precedes all others.

Walking with God Through Trials

Even during hardships, like Adam hiding from God after sinning, He desires a relationship with us.

Difficulties are part of life; however, Jesus walks alongside us through trials, offering support and guidance.

Reflecting Christ in Marriage

Marriage should reflect God's nature rather than replace Him; Ephesians 5:31–32 illustrates this unity as an example of Christ's relationship with the church.

Returning to Our First Love

Acknowledging past wounds or failures in relationships encourages returning to Jesus as our first love for healing.

Seeking God's help in overcoming sinful desires is essential for spiritual growth and maintaining healthy relationships.

Prayer and Community Impact

The Power of Jesus' Love

The speaker emphasizes the unparalleled love of Jesus, encouraging listeners to experience it immediately. A prayer is offered for individuals to know God's love, grace, and goodness.

Healing is invoked in the prayer, along with a call for obedience to God’s will, concluding with an "Amen" from the community.

Gratitude for Generosity

The speaker expresses gratitude towards viewers for their faithful giving, highlighting that generosity enables impactful outreach and support for those in need.

Viewers are invited to partner with the ministry through online contributions at authenticchurch.com/give, reinforcing the importance of collective efforts in spreading hope.

Invitation to Awaken Conference 2026

An invitation is extended for attendees to join the Awaken Conference scheduled from June 4th to 7th, 2026.

The conference promises four days filled with worship and inspiring speakers, aiming to create a significant spiritual gathering both physically and online.