The Community Practice 01: Be Family Around a Table - John Mark Comer

Name: The Community Practice 01: Be Family Around a Table - John Mark Comer
Uploaded: 2025-10-21T06:50:55.000Z
Duration: 1 h 44 min 36 s

The Importance of Community and Connection

Introduction to the Message

The speaker expresses gratitude for being part of the community, emphasizing a positive connection with the audience and leaders.

Invites attendees to turn to Mark chapter 3 in their Bibles, setting a reflective tone for the session.

Preparing for Reflection

Encourages a moment of silence and deep breathing, inviting the Holy Spirit's presence and guidance during the gathering.

Reads Mark 3:31-35, where Jesus redefines familial relationships based on spiritual kinship rather than biological ties.

The Paradox of Wealth and Isolation

Introduces Jean Paul Getty as an example of extreme wealth leading to profound isolation, drawing parallels with modern experiences.

Highlights Getty's dysfunctional family dynamics, including his refusal to pay ransom for his kidnapped grandson.

Visualizing Loneliness Amidst Abundance

Describes Getty’s lavish lifestyle juxtaposed with his loneliness at a grand table filled with opulence but devoid of joy.

Discusses the biblical motif of the messianic feast as an image of communal joy versus Getty's solitary existence.

Cultural Commentary on Individualism

Explains radical individualism as a cultural phenomenon prioritizing personal desires over community needs, leading to widespread loneliness.

Cites sociologist Robert Bella’s observations about how this individualistic mindset has become prevalent in American culture.

The Epidemic of Loneliness

Discusses how societal changes have led people to prioritize self over relationships, resulting in increased feelings of isolation.

Shares statistics indicating that many Americans feel disconnected; over half report having no close friends or feeling known by others.

The Impact of Loneliness on Health

The Health Crisis of Loneliness

VC Murthy, former U.S. Surgeon General, identifies loneliness as the number one health threat in America, claiming it is more detrimental than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Loneliness has been linked to various health issues including anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer's, and dementia.

This issue extends beyond the U.S., with countries like the UK appointing a "loneliness minister" and Japan taking similar steps to address societal loneliness.

Spiritual Formation and Community

Radical individualism hinders spiritual formation into agape love for followers of Jesus; community is essential for discipleship.

Discipleship to Jesus involves three goals: being with Jesus, becoming like Him, and doing as He would do—impossible without community support.

Spiritual formation occurs primarily within community contexts; we either grow together or not at all.

The Practice of Community

The challenge lies in cultivating relationships amidst widespread loneliness; practicing community can counteract this epidemic.

A simple yet radical act involves committing to life with a small group around a table—a practice that fosters deep connections.

Exploring Biblical Foundations of Community

Genesis: Creation in Community

In Genesis 1:26–27, God creates humanity in His image using plural language ("us"), hinting at relationality central to God's nature.

This plurality may refer to the divine council or the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), emphasizing that God exists in relationship.

Relationship at the Center of Existence

Daryl Johnson states that "at the center of the universe is a relationship," highlighting intimacy as fundamental to Christian existence.

Understanding God as love necessitates recognizing that love cannot exist apart from relationships—this truth underpins much of scripture.

Jesus' Call to Community

Jesus begins His ministry by calling individuals into family-like communities (Mark 1:16), illustrating the importance of communal bonds.

Jesus' Call to Discipleship

The Formation of a New Community

Jesus calls his first disciples, Simon and Andrew, instructing them to "fish for people," indicating his intention to create a new community.

Jesus does not select a single apprentice but multiple disciples (Simon, Andrew, James, John), emphasizing the collective nature of this new community.

He appoints 12 apostles from a larger group of disciples, highlighting their role in preaching and driving out demons.

Symbolism of the Twelve Apostles

The list of apostles includes individuals from opposing backgrounds (a zealot and a tax collector), showcasing Jesus' inclusive approach.

The choice of twelve apostles is symbolic, representing the twelve tribes of Israel and indicating the reformation of Israel into a new community.

Early Christians were referred to as a "third race," distinct from Jews and Gentiles, forming an identity based on faith rather than ethnicity.

Redefining Family in Jesus' Teachings

When informed that his family is looking for him, Jesus redefines familial relationships by stating that those who do God's will are his true family members.

This radical statement emphasizes that the church functions as a family based on spiritual kinship rather than biological ties.

The Concept of Adoption in Christian Theology

Paul frequently uses the term "adelfoy" (brothers/sisters), underscoring the importance of familial language within the Christian community.

In Romans 8:14, Paul describes believers as children of God led by the Spirit, contrasting this with slavery—a common condition in Roman society at that time.

Radical Nature of Divine Adoption

Paul asserts that believers are not slaves but children adopted by God; this shifts their relationship with Him from fear to one characterized by love and acceptance.

The concept of adoption was significant in Roman culture where only male heirs could be adopted; Paul's message highlights God's radical inclusion regardless of gender or social status.

Understanding Our Identity as Children of God

The Concept of Divine Family

The term "Aba" signifies a familial relationship with God, indicating an intimate connection as His children.

As children of God, we are also heirs to the kingdom, sharing in the royal lineage alongside Jesus Christ.

Sharing in Suffering and Glory

Ephesians highlights our adoption into God's family and our co-heir status with Christ, emphasizing that this inheritance comes through shared suffering.

Paul discusses the division between Jews and Gentiles, illustrating how Christ has reconciled these groups by breaking down barriers of hostility.

Racial Hostility and Reconciliation

The racial animosity between Jews and Gentiles was intense during the first century; however, Christ's work aims to dismantle such divisions.

Jesus' purpose is to create one new humanity from diverse backgrounds, promoting peace through reconciliation.

Current Work of Jesus

Reflecting on what Jesus is doing now reveals His role in gathering a new family from all nations and cultures.

In Hebrews, it is noted that Jesus intercedes for us before the Father; understanding His prayers can illuminate His current mission.

Formation of a New Humanity

Jesus is actively forming a community characterized by love, joy, peace, wisdom, strength, humility, courage, and gratitude.

Spiritual formation should not be viewed solely as individual growth but rather as shaping a collective community into love.

Redefining Family in Biblical Context

Modern interpretations of family often reflect nuclear structures; however, biblical concepts encompass broader communal relationships.

First-century Mediterranean families were larger units (oikos), consisting of 30 to 60 members rather than just immediate relatives.

Understanding Fictive Kinship and Community Dynamics

The Structure of Family and Community

The concept of family extends beyond biological ties, encompassing a wide range of relationships including multi-generational members, employees, co-workers, and neighbors.

Many cultures recognize "fictive kin," individuals who are not biologically related but share deep bonds akin to family.

Popular media often explores fictive kinship; for example, the TV series "The Bear" illustrates complex familial dynamics among non-biological relatives.

These narratives reflect a longing for community that resonates with audiences, highlighting both dysfunction and connection within these groups.

The speaker suggests that this yearning for community is rooted in a primal understanding of human needs for belonging.

Jesus' Call to Community

Followers of Jesus are encouraged to form communities resembling ancient Mediterranean families—large extended kinship groups that support one another through life's challenges.

While gatherings like church services are important, they may not provide the depth of community needed; larger churches can serve as initial meeting points for forming deeper connections.

Social Science Insights on Relationships

Research categorizes relationships based on size and vulnerability; Dr. Robin Dunbar's work introduces the idea of an "inner circle" consisting of 1 to 5 intimate relationships.

Intimates are those who deeply know and love us as we are—often spouses or lifelong friends—representing the closest bonds in our lives.

Ancient Mediterranean Kinship Structures

In ancient Mediterranean societies, family structures were patrilineal; one's family was defined by male bloodlines rather than marital ties.

This cultural context means that marriages were often arranged, leading to different relational hierarchies compared to modern views where romantic partnerships hold significant importance.

Loneliness in Modern Society

A concerning statistic reveals that over half (54%) of people lack any intimates—a reflection on the impact of radical individualism in contemporary society.

This absence highlights the need for community support systems as many navigate life without close companions to share burdens with.

Understanding Community Dynamics

The Concept of Kinship Groups

Dunar describes a kinship group as a fictive community, typically consisting of about 15 to 50 people who share life experiences together.

These individuals engage in various activities such as vacations, communal meals (friendsgiving), and support during personal crises, emphasizing the importance of close relationships.

The Law of 150

Sociologists refer to the "law of 150," suggesting that this number represents the maximum size for meaningful social connections.

Dunar's research spans historical village sizes and modern organizational structures, consistently returning to the figure of 150 as optimal for human interaction.

Importance of Weak Ties

The concept known as "the strength of weak ties" highlights the necessity for broader social networks beyond intimate friendships for practical needs like job searches or finding services.

An African proverb illustrates that both children and adults require a supportive community ("it takes a village") to thrive.

Defining Our Tribe

A larger group or "tribe" provides identity and purpose, even if members do not know each other personally; it serves as a source of inspiration and meaning in life.

This tribe can manifest in various forms: literal tribes, workplaces, sports teams, or political affiliations.

Spiritual Formation Through Relationships

Jesus exemplified relationships across all community layers—intimates (Peter, James, John), friends (Mary and Martha), larger groups (120 followers), and broader movements.

To grow spiritually and emotionally, individuals need connections at every level: intimate friends for support, kinship groups for shared experiences, villages for resources, and tribes for motivation.

Cultivating Smaller Communities

Participation in Sunday-based churches is valuable; however, finding smaller circles is equally crucial for personal growth and healing.

As one matures, having just one or two close companions becomes essential to navigate life's challenges effectively.

Embracing Diverse Church Structures

Churches vary widely in size; while large congregations can serve as tribes (category four), smaller communities are necessary within these structures to foster deeper connections.

Reflecting on past experiences leading large congregations emphasizes that church should be viewed more as a family than merely an event or organization.

Understanding Community and Kinship in Modern Life

The Challenge of Recognizing Community

The speaker shares an experience at Whole Foods where a stranger recognizes them as their pastor, highlighting the disconnect between theological family and functional relationships.

Emphasizes that while Christians are theologically considered family, practical kinship is challenging due to the scale of community; true family connections cannot be formed with hundreds of people.

Building Meaningful Relationships

Discusses the need for intentionality in creating modern kinship groups to experience relational truths about being part of God's family.

Mentions personal experiences, such as hiking with a friend, illustrating that building community requires effort and sacrifice amidst busy lifestyles.

The Practice of Community

Defines "the practice of community" as actively forming deeply connected kinship groups through shared activities like meals.

Highlights the significance of sharing meals together, referencing Jesus' frequent dining in the Gospels as central to early Christian life.

Historical Context and Importance of Meals

Quotes Robert Caris on Luke's Gospel, emphasizing that Jesus was often associated with meals, indicating their importance in spiritual gatherings.

Points out that early church gatherings focused on breaking bread together rather than just sermons or singing, underscoring communal eating's foundational role.

Rediscovering Dining Room Table Christianity

Explains how the Lord's Supper was originally a full meal (agape feast), celebrating gratitude for salvation and community among believers.

Advocates for "dining room table Christianity," suggesting it fosters deeper connections within communities by sharing meals regularly.

Practical Steps Towards Community Engagement

Introduces an exercise for participants to gather small groups for shared meals over five weeks to cultivate community practices.

Acknowledges cultural challenges in translating information into action but emphasizes that real change comes from practicing community rather than just hearing about it.

Conclusion: Action Over Information

Critiques society’s low information-to-action ratio; merely listening will not lead to transformation without active participation in community life.

Encourages planning weekly communal meals as a foundational step towards building meaningful relationships within faith communities.

School of Discipleship and Community Living

Introduction to Community Engagement

The speaker encourages those in the Vintage community to engage in planned activities, specifically sharing meals with their community.

Emphasizes that all Vintage programs, including Alpha, Rooted, School of Discipleship, and Communities, incorporate communal meals before any teaching sessions.

Intentionality in Relationships

Participants are encouraged to seek out a few people for informal gatherings without pressure for deep connections initially; simply asking for dinner is sufficient.

A "reach exercise" will be offered weekly for those wanting to deepen their engagement; this includes a spiritual adoption reflection exercise found in the companion guide.

Challenges of Community Living

The speaker acknowledges that living in community can be challenging due to cultural individualism and personal upbringing but emphasizes it as central to Jesus' teachings.

Personal testimony reveals how engaging in community has transformed the speaker's life despite being introverted; they express a desire for others to experience similar growth.

Overcoming Fear and Hurt

Acknowledges that many may carry fear or past hurt from previous experiences with community; encourages participants to proceed slowly and at their own pace.

The invitation is extended warmly: “You are always invited,” highlighting the simplicity of setting up communal spaces.

Closing Blessing

Concludes with a prayer-like blessing wishing for healing, growth, and love among participants as they form deeper connections within their communities.