How to be a Real Man
How to be a Real Man
In this video, the speaker talks about how to be a real man and what it means to be comfortable in your own skin. He shares his personal experience of gaining confidence and peace of mind as he got older.
Comfortable in Your Own Skin
- As you get into your 40s, there's a level of evolution that takes place where you become comfortable in your own skin.
- When you are comfortable in your own skin, you gain a sense of confidence that comes from within.
- People want to be comfortable in their own skin because it looks like you're happy, have peace of mind, and doing well in life.
Identity
- Your identity is not tied to material possessions or accomplishments but rather the person you are and the way you show up for others.
- Losing everything would have been devastating when he was younger but now he has peace knowing that nothing he loses is a byproduct of who he is.
Dealing with Uncertainty
- Even though 2020 was not a season of winning for his business, he still had happiness and peace of mind because his identity wasn't tied to it.
- Being okay with losing everything if necessary allowed him to deal with uncertainty without fear or anxiety.
Overall, being a real man means being comfortable in your own skin and having confidence that comes from within. Your identity should not be tied to external factors such as material possessions or accomplishments. Dealing with uncertainty requires having peace knowing that nothing you lose is a byproduct of who you are.
How Not to Be a Real Man
In this section, the speaker talks about how most men lead lives of quiet desperation by suppressing their feelings and avoiding confrontation. He emphasizes the importance of doing deep work to heal oneself.
Characteristics of a "Real Man"
- Stuffing feelings deep down inside
- Walking on eggshells around everyone
- Avoiding confrontation
- Being passive-aggressive until exploding in anger
- Never doing the deep work that's going to heal you
- Ignoring and distracting yourself from your problems
- Pretending everything is okay when it's not
The Problem with These Characteristics
- Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Men suffer in silence and avoid dealing with their issues.
- Traumatic events can leave scars that are never dealt with.
- Unresolved issues tend to resurface at inconvenient times.
What if Real Men Were Vulnerable?
In this section, the speaker discusses what it would look like if real men were vulnerable and did the deep work necessary to heal themselves.
Benefits of Vulnerability
- Open conversation becomes possible.
- Deep self-work can be done.
- Traumatic experiences can be processed through.
Negative Belief Systems
- Negative belief systems about oneself can cause self-sabotage.
The Project: Healing Men
In this section, the speaker talks about a program called "The Project" that helps men heal by doing deep emotional work.
The Purpose of The Project
- To help men become more vulnerable.
- To help men become servants of humanity.
- To help men heal emotionally.
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