What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED

Experiencing Rejection: A Personal Journey

The Classroom Gift Experience

• At six years old, the speaker participated in a classroom activity where students complimented each other to receive gifts.

• As the compliments dwindled, the speaker was left feeling rejected and cried when their name wasn't called.

• The teacher attempted to salvage the situation but inadvertently turned it into a public embarrassment for three children.

• This experience instilled a fear of public rejection in the speaker, shaping their future interactions.

Aspirations and Setbacks

• Eight years later, inspired by Bill Gates' visit to Beijing, the speaker wrote a letter declaring their ambition to build a major company by age 25.

• Despite this ambition, at age 30, they found themselves working as a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company without having started their own business.

• The internal conflict between their ambitious teenage self and the fearful child led to stagnation in pursuing new ideas or speaking up at work.

Overcoming Fear of Rejection

• After facing rejection during an investment opportunity as an entrepreneur, the speaker contemplated quitting but realized successful entrepreneurs don't give up easily.

• They recognized that personal growth required overcoming fears and not allowing past experiences to dictate current actions.

Seeking Help and Finding Solutions

• The speaker researched ways to overcome fear of rejection online but found generic advice unhelpful until discovering "Rejection Therapy."

• This game involved seeking out rejection daily for 30 days to desensitize oneself from its emotional pain.

Practical Application of Rejection Therapy

• On Day One of "Rejection Therapy," the speaker approached a stranger asking to borrow $100, experiencing intense anxiety during this interaction.

Embracing Rejection: A Journey of Personal Growth

The Decision to Stay Engaged

• The speaker reflects on their tendency to run from rejection, likening it to a microcosm of life. They resolve to stay engaged despite feelings of rejection.

Day Two: The Burger Refill Experiment

• On the second day, the speaker humorously requests a "burger refill" at a restaurant, leading to confusion and eventual rejection from the cashier.

• Instead of running away after rejection, they express love for the burgers and suggest that if a burger refill were offered, it would enhance their appreciation for the establishment.

Day Three: Creative Requests at Krispy Kreme

• The speaker visits Krispy Kreme and asks for doughnuts shaped like Olympic symbols, expecting refusal but receiving an enthusiastic response from the staff.

• This unexpected success leads to viral attention online, with over five million views on YouTube and media coverage highlighting their unique request.

Learning Through Engagement

• Despite newfound fame, the speaker emphasizes their desire for personal growth rather than notoriety. They view their 100 days of rejection as a research project aimed at self-improvement.

• They discover that asking "why" after receiving a "no" can lead to valuable insights and alternative solutions.

Turning No into Yes

• An example is shared where the speaker knocks on a stranger's door asking to plant a flower in their backyard. After being rejected, they inquire about the reason behind it.

• This inquiry leads them to another opportunity when referred by the first homeowner to someone who loves flowers.

Maximizing Chances for Acceptance

• At Starbucks, they propose becoming a greeter by comparing it with Walmart's greeters. Initially met with skepticism, they address this doubt directly.

• By acknowledging potential concerns upfront ("Is that weird?"), they gain trust and permission from management to fulfill this role temporarily.

Pursuing Dreams Through Asking

• Inspired by family traditions in education but desiring entrepreneurship instead, the speaker decides to ask professors at University of Texas at Austin if they can teach classes.

Embracing Rejection: A Path to Opportunity

The Journey of Teaching

• The speaker shares a transformative experience where they were invited to teach after simply asking, highlighting the power of initiative and opportunity.

• They express emotional fulfillment upon completing their first class, realizing that dreams can be achieved without needing extensive credentials like a PhD or entrepreneurial success.

Lessons from Great Leaders

• The speaker references influential figures such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Jesus Christ, noting that these leaders faced significant rejections but did not allow it to define them.

• Emphasizes that true change-makers embrace rejection and use it as a catalyst for personal growth rather than letting it hinder their progress.

Transforming Rejection into Opportunity

• The speaker reflects on their lifelong struggle with rejection, describing it as a "curse" until they learned to embrace it as a gift.

• They now focus on teaching others how to convert rejections into opportunities through various platforms including blogs, talks, and technology development aimed at overcoming fear of rejection.