The best way to help is often just to listen | Sophie Andrews

A Cry for Help

The protagonist, a 14-year-old girl who is being sexually abused by her father and his friends, calls the Samaritans helpline from a phone box in London. She is suicidal and has been self-harming.

Seeking Comfort

• After cutting herself with broken glass, she falls asleep on a railway station platform.

• When she wakes up, she goes to the station toilets to clean herself up.

• Seeing her reflection in the mirror makes her cry; she looks like she's been on the streets for three months.

• She tries to clean her wounds but applying pressure only makes them bleed more.

• She needs stitches but refuses to go to a hospital because they would send her back home to her abuser.

• She covers up the bloodstains on her shirt with her jacket.

Reaching Out

• Feeling hopeless and desperate, she enters a nearby phone box and calls Samaritans.

• The phone rings twice before someone answers.

• A woman answers and asks how she can help.

• The girl cries and says that she doesn't know what to do.

Finding Hope

The protagonist shares how calling Samaritans became her lifeline during her teenage years when she was most desperate. They provided total confidentiality which allowed her to trust them.

A Lifeline of Support

• The woman introduces herself as Pam and asks for the girl's name.

• Pam asks where the girl is speaking from and if she is safe.

• The girl reveals that she is in a phone box in London and that she is 14 years old.

• The girl shares that she wants to die and has been self-harming every day.

• Pam continues to gently ask the girl about herself, despite her not saying much.

• Samaritans became the protagonist's lifeline during her teenage years when she was most desperate.

• She trusted them because they promised total confidentiality.

• Samaritans listened without judgment and encouraged her to get help.

Finding Control and Support

In this section, the speaker talks about how self-harm was the only area where they felt they had control. They later found support that allowed them to live with what had happened and became a survivor of abuse.

From Victim to Survivor

• With appropriate support, the speaker became a survivor of abuse.

• The speaker contacted Samaritans again at 21 to become a volunteer and pay back the organization that saved their life.

• The simple act of listening in an empathetic way could have a profound effect on someone's life.

Volunteering at Samaritans

• The speaker enjoyed volunteering at Samaritans because they knew the profound impact of having someone listen without judgment during desperate times.

• The peak of their volunteering came when they were asked to chair the organization for three years, responsible for 22,000 volunteers.

Loneliness: A Stigmatized Issue

In this section, the speaker discusses how loneliness is stigmatized and can have profound health impacts. They also provide a clear definition of loneliness.

Loneliness as a Health Risk

• Loneliness is stigmatized today like child abuse was in the past.

• Being lonely can increase mortality rates by up to 30% and lead to higher blood pressure, depression, and dementia.

• Lonely people are twice as likely to develop Alzheimer's disease compared to those who are not lonely.

Defining Loneliness

• A landmark study defines loneliness as "a subjective unwelcome feeling of lack or loss of companionship" that occurs when there is a mismatch between the quality and quantity of relationships we have and those we want.

• Personal connections and being listened to in an empathetic way can be the best help someone receives.

From Off the Rails to Paying it Forward

In this section, Esther Rantzen talks about her teenage years and how a volunteer who listened to her had a profound impact on her life. She also discusses how she wanted to pay back by volunteering with Samaritans for 25 years and launching The Silver Line, a national helpline in the UK for older people.

Teenage Years

• Esther Rantzen describes her teenage years as being off the rails and wondering if she would even live the next day.

• A volunteer who listened to her had a profound impact on her life.

Paying it Forward

• When Esther felt that she could live with what had happened, she wanted to pay something back.

• People who have been helped in a transforming way always want to pay something back.

• Esther volunteered with Samaritans for 25 years.

• In 2013, Esther launched The Silver Line, a national helpline in the UK for older people who are lonely and isolated.

• The Silver Line has taken 1.5 million calls since its launch.

• Based on feedback received every day, The Silver Line is having a big impact.

• People call The Silver Line for various reasons such as friendly chat, information about local services, reporting abuse or because they are suicidal.

• Some people may have simply given up on life like Esther did in the past.

Setting Up The Helpline

In this section, Esther talks about setting up The Silver Line helpline and how it has evolved over time.

Early Days of The Helpline

• Setting up a helpline was a simple idea but challenging at first.

• In the early days, Esther was the chief exec of herself and had the best meetings ever in her career.

• The Silver Line now has over 200 staff listening to older people every day of the year, 24/7.

• Over 3,000 volunteers make weekly friendship calls from their own home.

• For people who like the written word, The Silver Line offers Silver Letters where they write pen-pal letters to older people who still enjoy receiving a letter.

Silver Circles

• The Silver Line has introduced something called Silver Circles which are group conference calls where people talk about shared interests.

• There are various groups such as music group where people play musical instruments down the phone to each other.

Laughter and Cherishing Wonderful Lives

In this section, Esther talks about how laughter is an important part of The Silver Line helpline and how it cherishes wonderful lives of older people.

Laughter on The Helpline

• At The Silver Line helpline, there is laughter along with desperation, loneliness and isolation.

• People call up for various reasons but laughter is an important part of their experience.

Cherishing Wonderful Lives

• The Silver Line wants to cherish the wonderful lives of older people and all the experiences that they bring.

• An example call snippet shows how someone sees them as part of their family.

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