الفيلسوف الذي وجد معنى الحياة | ليو تولستوي

Why Am I Here?

The Existential Crisis of Leo Tolstoy

• Tolstoy grappled with profound existential questions about the purpose of life, despite achieving fame, wealth, and literary success.

• His renowned works "War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina" are celebrated as monumental literary achievements, yet he faced an internal crisis at age 50.

• A sudden shift in his perspective led to a loss of happiness; he began questioning everything that once brought him joy.

Early Life and Spiritual Struggles

• Tolstoy's early experiences with loss (losing both parents at a young age) instilled feelings of abandonment and insecurity.

• He developed a negative impression of Christianity, feeling it imposed beliefs that conflicted with his personal experiences.

• This early turmoil set the stage for a deeper spiritual and intellectual crisis later in life when external accomplishments failed to fill his inner void.

The Search for Meaning

• For nearly 50 years, Tolstoy lived what appeared to be a worry-free life but internally struggled with existential dread.

• He found temporary solace in sleep as an escape from relentless thoughts about life's meaning.

• In his essay "Confession," he candidly described this phase as one where he felt compelled to deceive himself to avoid contemplating suicide.

Reflection Through Literature

• The character Levin in "Anna Karenina" mirrors Tolstoy’s own internal conflict regarding life's meaning and mortality.

• A symbolic story within "Confession" illustrates the human condition: a man trapped between existential fears above and death below while savoring fleeting moments of sweetness (honey).

Philosophical Exploration

• This metaphor reflects Tolstoy's realization that amidst chaos, there are transient joys worth clinging to despite overwhelming despair.

• He embarked on an extensive exploration of philosophy but found no satisfactory answers; many teachings led him to bleak conclusions about existence.

Disappointment with Science

• Turning to science for clarity, he encountered Darwinism which presented humanity as mere products of chance without inherent value or purpose.

• After disappointment from philosophical doctrines and scientific explanations, he observed people's responses to existential dilemmas around him.

Human Responses to Existence

• Tolstoy identified four primary ways people cope with life's absurdity: acceptance of its futility.

Existential Questions and the Search for Meaning

The Absurdity of Life

• The idea that many people live without deep contemplation, accepting life's absurdity and continuing their daily routines.

• Camus suggests that the solution is not to succumb to despair or nihilism but to embrace an internal rebellion against these feelings.

• Tolstoy critiques this approach, questioning how one can ignore existential inquiries when faced with loss and suffering.

The Pursuit of Pleasure

• Tolstoy observes a group seeking escape from existential dread through pleasure, wealth, and relationships as distractions from death and meaninglessness.

• He argues that pleasure is temporary and does not address fundamental existential questions; it leads to a cycle of dissatisfaction.

• This pursuit is likened to fleeting sweetness in a dire situation, providing distraction rather than resolution.

Despair and Existential Crisis

• A third group consists of individuals overwhelmed by life's absurdity who contemplate ending their lives as an escape from suffering.

• Tolstoy himself approached this brink but rejected it as a valid solution, believing it ends the inquiry into existence prematurely.

Existential Stagnation

• A fourth category includes those aware of life’s absurdity yet paralyzed by fatigue or hopelessness, leading to inaction.

• These individuals neither indulge in pleasure nor seek faith; they exist in silent resignation without confronting their reality.

Transformation Through Faith

• After years of observing others' struggles, Tolstoy's pivotal moment came from witnessing the resilience of impoverished peasants rooted in faith despite hardship.

• This simple faith provided them with meaning and strength that contrasted sharply with his own intellectual turmoil.