How to Write Sales Emails That Convert II

Starting the Stream

In this section, the speaker starts the stream and checks if everything is working properly.

Checking Technical Issues

• The speaker hits the starting screen to hide them from viewers.

• They check if people can hear them.

• The speaker encounters an error with YouTube and tries to fix it.

Introducing Themselves

• The speaker introduces themselves as Colin and mentions that Celia and Jonathan are with him.

• They greet their audience and ask where they are from.

What Makes a Good Sales Email?

In this section, the speakers discuss what makes a good sales email.

Key Principles of Writing a Good Email

• A good sales email should be clear, concise, personal, and relevant.

• It should be simple and talk about how the prospect's world can be better.

• The call-to-action (CTA) should make sense without making prospects think too hard.

Checklist for Writing a Good Email

• Is the email clear?

• Is it concise?

• Does it sound like a real person wrote it?

• Is it relevant to the recipient's interests?

How to Write Sales Emails That Convert

In this section, the speakers discuss how to write sales emails that convert.

Framework for Writing Sales Emails

• Start by identifying your target audience or persona.

• Make sure your messaging is relevant to their interests.

• Paint a picture with your words to help them visualize the benefits of your product or service.

Monthly Segment on Writing Sales Emails

• The speakers mention that they will be doing this segment every month.

• Viewers can send their emails to Marisol for feedback during the next segment.

Sharing Slides and Subject Lines

In this section, the speaker discusses sharing slides and subject lines for cold emails.

Sharing Slides

• The speaker mentions that they will share the slides but it will cost one full bitcoin.

• They also mention that Marisol may share them for free in the chat.

Subject Lines

• The speaker asks Jonathan about how to get people's attention and get them to open an email.

• Jonathan suggests using subject lines that are one to three words long, relevant to the prospect, and somewhat ambiguous.

• He also suggests using words from the body of the email being sent.

• Examples of successful subject lines include "two words simple" and "order status?".

Getting Attention with Subject Lines

In this section, the speaker continues discussing subject lines for cold emails.

Tips for Successful Subject Lines

• Jonathan explains that people receive a lot of emails so it is important to stand out among all those emails.

• He suggests keeping subject lines short (one to three words), relevant to the prospect, and somewhat ambiguous.

• Using words from the body of the email being sent can also be effective.

• A successful example was "order status?" which had a 57% open rate. However, it is important not to be clickbaity or misleading.

Email Subject Line Best Practices

In this section, the speakers discuss best practices for email subject lines.

Creating Effective Subject Lines

• Use quick and internal questions to get someone to open the email.

• Longer subject lines can work if they are specific to what the person cares about.

• Avoid using common keywords like "lead generation" as it may lead them too far into the solution space.

Brainstorming Solutions

• To brainstorm solutions for a qualified lead generating live chat solution, consider who you're targeting and think of something that isn't too long.

• Consider using prospect name plus your first name or company name by itself in the subject line.

• Look at your spam filters and avoid using major keywords that are commonly used in spam emails.

Final Thoughts

• Avoid using "leads" in your subject line as it may be too common and lead people too far into the solution space.

• Be specific with your subject line and avoid being too general.

Lead Generating Chat Solution

The speaker discusses a lead generating chat solution and how they want to pull it up a level and talk about conversations with people from your website.

Pulling Up the Solution Space

• The speaker mentions that they are too deep into the solution space.

• They want to pull it up a level and talk about more conversations with people from your website.

• They ask if live chat is something people are thinking about.

Controlling Expenses with Confidence

The speaker talks about controlling expenses with confidence and asks for more information on expense analysis.

Expense Analysis

• Tony mentions expense analysis in the chat.

• The speaker asks Tony what kind of expense analysis he is doing.

• They suggest framing the downside of not controlling expenses from a loss-aversion standpoint.

Analyzing Specific Industries

• The speaker suggests analyzing specific industries that use your tool in a certain way.

• They give an example of segmenting campaigns based on specific use cases, such as using donuts for lead generation on construction sites.

General Advice and Caveats

The speakers give general advice and caveats when it comes to recommendations given in the chat.

General Advice

• Speakers caution that any advice or recommendations given in the chat may not be guaranteed to be right.

• There are no silver bullets, so take all advice with a grain of salt.

Caveats

• Any recommendations given should be taken as suggestions rather than guarantees.

Targeting Banks for Digital Transformation

In this section, the team discusses how to target banks for digital transformation and who their end target should be.

Targeting C-Level Executives or Referrals

• The team discusses whether they are targeting C-level executives or referrals.

• They consider if virtual branch performance is a common term in the industry.

• It is suggested that they reach out to the VP or Director of Digital Banking or someone on the marketing side.

Subject Line Suggestions

• Alpha Rank is going after the Chief Lending Officer for auto loan leads that come to their website and they lose them on a digital medium.

• Two approaches are discussed: loss aversion and growth.

• The team suggests subject lines around lead efficiency, ROI, and generating more ROI from leads.

• It is noted that using numbers, ROI, revenue, and dollar signs in subject lines may trigger spam filters.

Using Loss Aversion as a First Touch

• The team discusses whether loss aversion is a good first touch. It is suggested that it works well in email bodies but may not be effective in subject lines.

Motivating People to Make a Change

In this section, the speaker discusses how to motivate people to invest time in making a change. They suggest that people are more likely to make a change if they are trying to get away from something they don't like rather than moving towards something that is only an incremental improvement.

Importance of Building Believability

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of believability-weighted decision-making when it comes to messaging and cold emails.

• They suggest that building a relationship with someone before trying to hook them emotionally is key.

• The speaker notes that their believability in someone's recommendations is much stronger if they have seen them successfully do it before.

Using Emojis in Email Subject Lines

In this section, the speakers discuss whether or not emojis should be used in email subject lines and share their opinions on the matter.

Opinions on Emojis in Subject Lines

• One speaker suggests that using emojis in subject lines can come across as spammy and would not recommend it.

• They note that testing around with gifs and other visuals may work better in the body of an email rather than the subject line.

• Another speaker asks for input from chat participants on whether or not they would open an email with just emojis.

Using Emojis in Marketing Emails

In this section, the speakers discuss the use of emojis in marketing emails and cold sales emails. They also talk about how trends from consumer marketing are making their way into B2B marketing.

Emojis in Marketing Emails

• There is a big difference between marketing emails and cold sales emails.

• Reaching out to a list allows for more flexibility with using emojis.

• However, when reaching out to specific individuals, it's important to be cautious with using emojis.

• The use of emojis may help an email stand out but should be used sparingly.

• Trying new things and not being afraid to fail can lead to breakthrough moments.

Trends in B2B Marketing

• Consumer marketing trends are making their way into B2B marketing.

• Streaming started as a consumer trend and has now made its way into B2B streaming.

• The adoption of new trends may seem slow at first but can eventually become mainstream.

Personal Use of Emojis

• The use of emojis should be consistent with the content being written about.

• It's important to be cautious when using emojis in a campaign or cold email that is not personalized.

• Using time pressure elements like "live in 5 minutes" can increase open rates.

Reminders and Tips

In this section, the speaker reminds the audience about an upcoming live podcast and shares some tips on targeting schools and parks for a construction company.

Live Podcast Reminder

• The speaker reminds the audience of a live podcast with Greg Callahan from Bain at 1 PM Pacific Standard Time.

• The podcast will focus on account planning research.

Targeting Schools and Parks

• Cities are a good target for construction companies as they have high reply rates.

• However, sales cycles can be long, especially for governmental organizations like cities or education sectors.

• Short and sweet subject lines work best when targeting cities or municipalities.

• When targeting schools and parks, use subject lines that mention children in a non-creepy way.

Account Planning Research

In this section, the speaker talks about account planning research conducted by Bain.

Key Points

• Bain has conducted research on account planning.

• The research focuses on how to work accounts effectively.

• They have developed software to help promote their findings.

Targeting Cities and Municipalities

In this section, the speaker discusses targeting cities and municipalities.

Key Points

• Cities are responsive to campaigns but have long sales cycles.

• Initial positive responses may not translate into revenue quickly.

• Be mindful of different demographics when targeting multiple sectors.

Long Sales Cycles for Construction Companies

In this section, the speaker talks about long sales cycles for construction companies.

Key Points

• Construction companies that sell large products with slow pipeline should expect long sales cycles.

• A customer who is interested in having conversations with you does not necessarily mean they will buy from you.

• Be aware of the long turnaround time to make a deal happen.

Subject Line Tips

In this section, the speaker shares tips on creating effective subject lines.

Key Points

• Short and sweet subject lines work best when targeting cities or municipalities.

• When targeting schools and parks, use subject lines that mention children in a non-creepy way.

• Avoid using conclusions as titles since you may only be getting a small part of the video.

Email Tactics for Sales Development

In this section, the speakers discuss email tactics for sales development and how to add a call to action in the first email.

Monkey Bars and Paul Simon

• Use creative subject lines such as "monkey bars" or reference a song like "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard" by Paul Simon.

• Personalize emails with puns or musical references that align with the target audience.

Adding a Call to Action

• Start with a broader approach rather than jumping straight into asking for a call.

• Have some form of call to action, such as asking a question, but avoid being too forceful.

• Consider the demographics of the target audience when deciding how upfront and straightforward to be about requesting a call.

Gong's Comprehensive Subject Lines Guide

• The Gong recently released comprehensive collateral on subject lines that includes 27 examples.

Lisa's Support for Celia's Methodology

• Lisa voices her support for Celia's methodology of not being too forceful in emails.

Understanding the Problem Space vs Solution Space

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of understanding the problem space and solution space when selling a new product. They also talk about how to approach potential customers in an exploratory way.

Approaching Potential Customers

• When selling something new and unheard of, it's important to start with the problem space rather than jumping straight into the solution space.

• Asking if a product is relevant to a potential customer is a good way to confirm if they are interested in learning more.

• It's valuable to ask if a product is relevant or useful before trying to sell it, especially if you're not sure you're targeting the right person with the right message.

Setting Up Pain Points

• Using "is this relevant to you" as a call-to-action can be effective when paired with setting up pain points in both subject lines and body text.

• When selling financial software that helps improve lead conversion on auto loans, for example, setting up pain points around revenue growth can be effective.

Talking About Problem Space

• Rather than talking about the product itself, it's important to focus on the problem space and how it relates to potential customers.

• The call-to-action should be focused on whether or not potential customers resonate with the problem being presented.

Proposal Timing

In this section, the speakers discuss the timing of proposals and how to approach them.

Timing of Proposals

• It is important to slow play a proposal and warm up the other person before asking for a commitment.

• The lifetime value should be considered when proposing.

• The context of the proposal should be taken into account before approaching someone for a commitment.

Targeting Maintenance Managers

In this section, the speakers discuss targeting maintenance managers with cold emails.

Subject Lines for Cold Emails

• The right targeting is essential when sending cold emails.

• The type of company and its revenue should be considered when targeting maintenance managers.

• C-level executives are generally decision-makers in companies, so it may be better to target them instead of maintenance managers.

• CFO's could also have a say in certain organizations, so they could also be targeted.

Selling Maintenance Software in Latin America

In this section, the speakers discuss selling maintenance software in Latin America.

Getting Attention from Maintenance Managers

• Context is important when selling maintenance software in Latin America.

• C-level executives are generally decision-makers in companies, so it may be better to target them instead of maintenance managers.

• CFO's could also have a say in certain organizations, so they could also be targeted.

• Uptime is important for machines, which comes down to ROI and return on the machines. The software can help with this.

The speakers discuss the importance of uptime and how it relates to ROI and return on machines. They suggest targeting C-level executives or CFO's instead of maintenance managers when selling maintenance software in Latin America. Context is important when selling maintenance software in Latin America, and it may be better to target companies with multiple factories rather than just one company with a localized region.

Targeting the Right Person for Sales

In this section, the speakers discuss how to target the right person for sales based on the type of software being sold and the industry it is targeting.

CEO/CFO vs COO

• The CEO/CFO approach is suitable for software that focuses on generating revenue.

• The COO approach is more appropriate for workflow software that aims to improve operational efficiency.

Manufacturing Industry

• Manufacturers have slim margins and little control over pricing.

• Operational efficiency is crucial in increasing profit margins.

• Targeting the person responsible for profit margin will get their attention.

Best Practices for Email Subject Lines in Drip Campaigns

In this section, the speakers discuss best practices for email subject lines in drip campaigns to increase click-through rates.

Number of Emails in a Sequence

• Four emails are recommended instead of seven.

Switching Subject Lines per Email

• Repeating a similar message across an entire drip campaign can help increase click-through rates.

• Switching subject lines per email can also help increase click-through rates.

Keeping Subject Lines Consistent

In this section, the speakers discuss the importance of keeping subject lines consistent throughout a message chain. They also touch on when it may be appropriate to use different subject lines.

Importance of Consistency

• The message should come in underneath the last message in the same chain.

• Breaking up subject lines breaks up messages and can lead to confusion.

• Unless intentionally sending something outside of the chain, use the same subject line from start to finish for consistency.

• Repeating relevant subjects repeatedly in a thread can help achieve repetitiveness.

When to Use Different Subject Lines

• There is a case for using different subject lines intentionally.

• Testing multiple subject lines and refining them over time is important.

• Burst mode can be used to try different approaches while still maintaining relevancy.

• It's easy to assume that everyone hates you if they don't reply, but it's more likely that they didn't see or find it relevant at that moment.

Conclusion

In this section, the speakers wrap up their discussion on messaging and reaching out to prospects.

Final Thoughts

• Don't assume everyone hates you if they don't reply; they may not have seen or found it relevant at that moment.

• Be persistent and keep trying different ways of reaching out unless explicitly told otherwise.

Tips for Cold Email Subject Lines

In this section, the speakers discuss tips for creating effective cold email subject lines.

Stick to the Same General Idea

• It's important to stick to the same general idea in your emails and avoid being scatter-shot.

• Repetition is key to building a conversation about the same thing over time.

Focus on Problem Space

• When selling a corporate intranet or employee portal, it's important to focus on the problem space rather than solution space.

• Highlight something that isn't working well with their current product and build out from there.

Consider Industry-Specific Changes

• For healthcare industry emails, consider how COVID has impacted hospitals and how your product can solve problems related to those changes.

• For financial industry emails, consider how remote work has impacted office environments and how your product can bridge gaps caused by these changes.

English Selling to Customers: The Challenge of Internet Sales

In this section, the speakers discuss the challenges of selling internet-based products and services to customers. They highlight the difficulties associated with training employees and customers on new technology and suggest focusing on the problem space rather than the solution space when pitching a product or service.

Challenges of Internet Sales

• Selling internet-based products and services is challenging because it requires retraining employees and customers.

• Focusing on how a product or service solves a specific problem can make it more appealing to potential customers.

• Unless a product is highly technical, it's best to stay in the problem space rather than jumping into the solution space.

English Reviewing an Email Template for Better Engagement

In this section, the speakers review an email template used by BuzzBoard, a platform that provides information about SMBs. They suggest making changes to focus on providing examples of how BuzzBoard can help users rather than just listing data points.

Reviewing an Email Template

• Laura Wilkerson from BuzzBoard had previously received feedback on her email template and has seen better engagement as a result.

• The speakers suggest focusing on providing examples of how BuzzBoard can help users rather than just listing data points.

• It's important to consider which persona an email is aimed at when making changes to an email template.

Building a Focused List

The speakers discuss the importance of providing relevant examples to a persona and how to use data signals to create a more focused list for outbound outreach.

Providing Relevant Examples

• Use examples that are relevant to the persona.

• Provide specific data signals that can be used to create a more focused list for outbound outreach.

Creating a Focused List

• Use data signals such as companies using Salesforce with X revenue and 10 open hiring positions.

• Segment very precisely around these data points to reduce the amount of people wasted in outreach.

• This makes targeting better, which leads to higher conversion rates.

Email Sequences and Call-to-Actions

The speakers discuss email sequences, call-to-actions, and reducing superfluous words in emails.

Email Sequences

• Consider when an email is being sent and what response has been received from it.

• Reduce the number of people wasted in outreach by having particular data points.

Call-to-Actions

• Have one question mark at the end of each call-to-action.

• Use fewer words in emails as every extra word reduces the chance of making a sale through outbound.

• Each additional word costs $1000 in future closed revenue.

Value of Sales and Reducing Words in Emails

The speakers discuss reducing superfluous words in emails, value of sales, and calls-to-action.

Value of Sales

• Think about what's the value of a sale here?

• Any additional word added reduces the number of people who will read your email.

Reducing Words in Emails

• Every extra superfluous word costs $1000 in future closed revenue.

• Send the lowest cost email that still gets the job across.

• Kill some words in emails to avoid diluting the message.

Calls-to-Action

• End your email with a call-to-action with a question mark.

• Have only one call-to-action per email.

• Use fewer words in emails as every extra word reduces the chance of making a sale through outbound.

Call-to-Actions and Email Content

The speakers discuss call-to-actions, email content, and reducing superfluous words in emails.

Call-to-Actions

• End your email with a call-to-action with a question mark.

• Use fewer words in emails as every extra word reduces the chance of making a sale through outbound.

• Each additional word costs $1000 in future closed revenue.

Email Content

• Consider where this is being sent and who it's being sent to when creating an initial email.

• Drastically change an initial email if necessary to make it more effective.

Reducing Irrelevant Prospects

In this section, the speakers discuss how reducing the number of irrelevant prospects that SDRs reach out to can help achieve business outcomes. They suggest segmenting prospects by different personas and asking specific questions to increase accuracy.

Segmenting Prospects

• By segmenting prospects into different personas (demand gen, inside sales, outside sales), you can get more precise about what each individual person cares about.

• Asking specific questions helps paint a picture of how reducing irrelevant people would help with business outcomes.

• Focusing on reducing irrelevant people increases accuracy.

Brainstorming Recommendations

• The speakers discuss Harsh Deep's suggestion for a 15-minute brainstorm session to come up with ways to help the team be a perfect fit.

• They suggest making sure the email is exceptionally specific when asking for a call to action.

• When going for something more generic, make sure you're only asking one question.

Reviewing Laura's Email

In this section, the speakers review an email from Laura Sanchez who is targeting digital marketing agencies. They suggest being more specific in the first email and removing unnecessary information.

Laura's Email

• The speakers suggest not asking for a call in general in the first email and being more specific.

• They recommend putting something that might matter to them more than just giving a lot of information.

What's in it for me?

In this section, the speakers discuss the importance of highlighting what's in it for the recipient of an email. They suggest providing examples or case studies to make the message more impactful.

Highlighting Benefits

• Emphasize what's in it for the recipient.

• Provide examples or case studies to make the message more impactful.

Email Critique

In this section, the speakers critique an email submitted by a participant named Stacy. They discuss ways to improve the email and make it more effective.

Improving Email Content

• Start with a question to catch someone's attention.

• Use PS as a secret weapon to add relevant information without muddling clarity.

• Avoid making emails too much about your company and focus on what your prospect cares about.

• Be concise and provide emotional reactions that help visualize their problem.

GPS Tracking

In this section, Stacy discusses her company's product, which is GPS tracking for small and medium-sized fleets. The speakers discuss how to tailor messages based on different types of fleets.

Tailoring Messages

• Tailor messages based on different types of fleets.

• Focus on prospects' problems rather than your company.

• Keep emails concise and avoid using excessive language.

Defending Claims for Damages

The speaker discusses the challenges companies face when justifying or defending claims for damages. They also explore how to get closer to the pain points of their prospects.

Consequences of Not Having a Solution in Place

• Companies may have a harder time justifying or defending claims for damages.

• Prospects care more about what a solution means for them rather than where it is or what it does.

Example: Allergy Medication

• What it does: Helps reduce allergy symptoms.

• What it means: Not feeling like you're going to die at your friend's house with a cat, or avoiding dirty looks at the grocery store because people think you have COVID.

Compelling Prospects to Take Action

• Companies need to communicate why prospects should be compelled to take action right now.

• Examples include avoiding being sued and having their company crumble.

Testing Minimalist Approaches

The speaker suggests testing minimalist approaches when reaching out to fleet managers with small to medium-sized fleets.

Using Data and Social Proof

• Use data and social proof from previous customers who went after individuals like fleet managers.

• Test minimalist approaches such as using one question signature instead of multiple sentences.

Hyperlinking vs Raw Link

• Consider using raw links instead of hyperlinks since HTML can set off spam filters.

• Use social proof such as being featured in Fleet Week without hyperlinking it.

English Using Emojis in Cold Emails

In this section, the speakers discuss the effectiveness of using emojis in cold emails and how it can lead to high reply rates.

High Reply Rates with Emojis

• Using emojis in cold emails can lead to a 110% reply rate and high open rates.

• The speakers suggest that cold emailers may be working off of old data if they are not utilizing emojis in their emails.

English Reviewing Shawn's Email

In this section, the speakers review an email from Shawn regarding Ford loyalty fall/winter 2020.

Positive Response Rate

• Stacy mentions a 5% response rate for her email, which she sent to 5400 people.

• The speakers agree that a 5% response rate is great and suggest looking at the breakdown of positive, neutral, and negative responses.

• They discuss using tags or labels in Gmail or Outlook to track positive, neutral, and negative responses.

English Analyzing Positive, Neutral, and Negative Responses

In this section, the speakers continue discussing tracking positive, neutral, and negative responses in Gmail or Outlook.

Spot Checking Emails

• The speaker suggests spot checking about 100 recent emails by searching for a unique string of text that would only pull up that particular email.

• They recommend creating tags or labels for positive, neutral, and negative responses.

• By applying these tags or labels to each email quickly using hotkeys or shortcuts like "j" and "k", you can get a sense of what percentage of your emails received positive versus negative feedback.

Reviewing an Email to a Sales Rep

In this section, the team reviews an email sent to a regional sales rep at Shift Marketing. They discuss the length of the email and suggest ways to make it more concise and effective.

Suggestions for Improvement

• The team suggests starting with a clear statement about the value that the company can provide instead of targeting Ford or dealerships in general.

• Celia suggests starting with a tangible outcome that was created for previous clients, such as increased vehicle sales by a certain percentage.

• The team agrees that the email is too long and needs to be more concise. They suggest pulling out the key value propositions and providing links for further information.

• Another suggestion is to focus on one killer use case instead of trying to cover too many options. This will help target specific personas and make the message more effective.

Providing Tangible Value in Emails

In this section, the team discusses how to provide tangible value in emails by focusing on outcomes and results.

Tips for Providing Tangible Value

• Start with a clear statement about what you can do for potential clients, including specific outcomes or results achieved for previous clients.

• Provide examples of campaigns or solutions that have been successful in achieving these outcomes.

• Keep emails concise and focused on one key use case or persona.

• Use puns or plays on words if appropriate, but don't sacrifice clarity for humor.

Making Emails More Effective

In this section, the speaker discusses how to make emails more effective by simplifying them and reducing the number of links included.

Simplify Emails

• The speaker suggests making it really obvious what the recipient needs to do with an email.

• Including too many links in an email can overwhelm the recipient and reduce deliverability.

• To limit options, the speaker recommends deconstructing the email and adding only one link that is timely and relevant.

Impact of Images and Gifs on Deliverability

• Large images or gifs can impact deliverability if they are over a certain size.

• Email providers are more accepting of images and gifs now, but there should be a balance between regular text and other types of content.

• Engagement rates also play a role in deliverability. Relevant images or gifs may help engagement, while irrelevant ones may not.

Example: Shop at Home Premise

• The speaker suggests focusing on one angle of attack for an email targeting GM dealer principals at each store.

• For example, highlighting the shop-at-home premise could be effective during times when people are not going to physical stores as much.

Inventory Management and Sales Content

In this section, the speakers discuss the challenges of inventory management for dealers during the pandemic and how to make sales content more relevant.

Focus on Inventory Management

• Dealers are facing inventory management problems due to the pandemic.

• Pre-orders and customization may be valuable solutions for dealers running low on inventory.

Making Sales Content Relevant

• Sean is trying to show prospects why they need to pay attention to their product right now.

• The call-to-action in the sales content needs to be clearer and more specific.

• The message should be shorter, more focused, and include proof points.

• Emojis can be added to subject lines but it depends on getting specific.

Feedback for Sean's Message

• Sean's message needs to be shorter, more specific, and have a clearer call-to-action.

• The tone of the message is friendly but it needs to be more focused.

• Proof points should be included in the message.

Overall, this section discusses how dealers are facing inventory management problems during the pandemic. It also provides insights into making sales content more relevant by having a clear call-to-action, being shorter and more focused with proof points included.

Email Subject Line and Body

In this section, the speaker discusses how to make an email subject line and body more effective.

Tips for Creating Effective Email Content

• The subject line, body, and call to action should be aligned and tell the same story.

• The subject line should hint at what the email is about without giving away all of the information.

• Test different versions of the email with A/B testing, including one that you're uncomfortable with. Test with 50-100 people if not personalizing it or fewer if personalizing it.

Non-Profit Marketing

In this section, the speaker provides feedback on a non-profit's marketing message.

Feedback on Non-Profit Marketing Message

• The marketing message is too long and needs to be shortened.

• The company name looks too much like another college's name.

• Testing a subject line that says "We sell coins" could be a breakout idea.

Introduction

In this section, the speaker introduces Sandra and summarizes her business model. The audience is asked to provide feedback on what they would change about Sandra's email.

Sandra's Business Model

• Sandra sells coins for direct mail campaigns for charities and nonprofits.

• The goal is to increase the rate of return for these types of campaigns.

• The main obstacle is the high level of competition in the space.

Feedback on Sandra's Email

In this section, John provides feedback on how to improve Sandra's email. He suggests making it more concise and highlighting the risk associated with the noisy space.

Improving Sandra's Email

• Establish relevance at the start of the second paragraph by discussing how to increase campaign success rates.

• Highlight the risk associated with a noisy space and explain how coins can help stand out.

• Keep it simple and end with a clear call-to-action.

Celia's Feedback on Sandra's Email

In this section, Celia provides feedback on how to simplify Sandra's email even further. She suggests starting with a question and making it more concise.

Simplifying Sandra's Email

• Start with a question about whether or not they have used coins in their fundraising campaigns.

• Make it more concise by focusing on proof of pain points and how coins can help get attention.

Rebuilding Sandra's Email

In this section, John discusses rebuilding Sandra's email using a minimalist approach that starts with a question.

Minimalist Approach to Rebuilding Email

• Start with a question about whether or not they have used coins in their fundraising campaigns.

• End with a signature after providing information about coinage for direct mail fundraising campaigns.

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