How to Be Good at Sex

In this video, the speaker discusses how to be good at sex and why traditional advice on the topic is not helpful. He shares his personal experience with seeking advice online and explains why focusing on performance can actually make sex worse.

The Problem with Traditional Advice

• Focusing on performance puts you in the wrong mindset.

• Basic advice like "do the alphabet with your tongue" is useless.

• The best sex is not about following specific techniques or positions.

Personal Experience Seeking Advice Online

• The speaker sought advice online from sources like Reddit and Pornhub.

• Some of the advice was basic and helpful, but most of it was cringey and unhelpful.

• Following advice to focus solely on pleasing your partner can ruin the sexual experience.

A New Approach to Being Good at Sex

• The speaker's approach focuses on being present in the moment and enjoying yourself.

• Being confident, communicative, and attentive to your partner's needs are key factors in having great sex.

Techniques for Pleasure

In this section, the speaker talks about his experience with sex and how he learned techniques to give pleasure to women.

Learning Techniques

• The speaker learned techniques for giving pleasure to women when he was 18-19 years old.

• He believes that many guys have an ego about pleasing women but he found success by following basic techniques.

• The speaker practiced these techniques consistently in college and received positive feedback from partners.

Sex Advice for Men

In this section, the speaker discusses the prevalence of sex advice for men and how it is often not helpful.

Disappointing Reality

• The speaker warns that most sex advice is geared towards men and not helpful because women are not seeking out similar advice.

• He notes that sex is currently "feminine-driven" and focused on making women feel good rather than mutual pleasure.

Personal Experience

• The speaker shares his experience using advice from pickup artists to bring women home from clubs or dating apps.

• He describes feeling disconnected during sexual encounters when his focus was solely on pleasing his partner.

Mindset During Sex

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of mindset during sexual encounters.

Presence vs Overthinking

• The speaker explains that focusing too much on pleasing a partner can lead to overthinking and disconnection.

• He shares that he personally struggles with overthinking during sexual encounters, which detracts from his enjoyment.

Enjoyment vs Technique

• The speaker acknowledges that enjoyment is important during sex and cannot be achieved solely through technique.

• He notes that following advice from others may not work for everyone and encourages viewers to find what works best for them.

How I Learned to Enjoy Sex

In this section, the speaker talks about his sexual experiences and how he learned to enjoy sex.

Learning to Enjoy Sex

• The speaker shares that for years, he did not enjoy sex.

• He realized that he was trying to fit into someone else's idea of what sex should be like.

• The speaker suggests that if you are similar to him in terms of your thoughts and experiences, you might have a similar sexual energy.

• He shares that he had trouble getting aroused with previous partners because the energy was wrong for him.

• The speaker shares that there was one particular moment with a girl where everything changed for him sexually.

Sexual History and Body Count

In this section, the speaker talks about his sexual history and body count.

Sexual History

• The speaker shares that he lost his virginity at 19 and had only been with one girl before sleeping with eight more within two months.

• He explains that after breaking up with his first girlfriend, he went through a period of depression before becoming sexually active again.

• Within four months, the speaker slept with nine girls.

High Body Count Partner

• The eighth girl the speaker slept with had a high body count and was very sexual.

• Sleeping with her helped the speaker realize what felt right for him sexually.

Sleeping with Six Girls

In this section, the speaker talks about his experience of sleeping with six girls and how he tried to meet them again.

Trying to Meet Them Again

• The speaker slept with six girls one time and had their numbers.

• He tried to meet them again but none of them met him except for one girl who met him once more.

Dominating a Girl

In this section, the speaker talks about his experience of dominating a girl during sex.

Excitement to Dominate

• The speaker was excited to dominate a girl during sex.

• He didn't remember the details as he was drunk at that time.

Being Rock Hard

• The speaker's penis was hard passively while walking towards his place.

• His penis remained hard throughout the sexual encounter.

Making Girls Come Back for More

In this section, the speaker talks about his experience of making girls come back for more after having sex with them.

Focusing on Pleasure vs. Dominance

• The speaker found that focusing entirely on his pleasure rather than worrying about the girl's pleasure made her want to come back for more.

• However, when he focused on making her orgasm, it didn't always lead to her wanting more.

Importance of Mental Frame

• The idea that you need to make a girl orgasm can take away from the mental frame that makes you attractive and focused during sex.

Mindful and Present Sex

In this section, the speaker talks about how to have mindful and present sex.

How to Have Mindful and Present Sex

• Pulling down pants based on a Reddit post is not the way to go.

• Focus on being completely mindful, present, and loving during sex.

• Visualize what you want from the experience.

• Make her feel sexy instead of just focusing on physical pleasure.

• Use words to compliment her during sex.

Complimenting Girls and Validation

In this section, the speaker talks about how complimenting a girl can strengthen the behavior that they've just done. He explains that praising someone for good work makes them more likely to do more good work because they've got a nice reward from it. However, if you praise a girl just for doing nothing, it strengthens the exact dynamic that you are currently in.

The Best Time to Validate a Girl

• The best time to validate a girl is when your dick is inside of her.

• Compliments during sex make her feel awesome and sexy.

• Complimenting her on text strengthens the texting behavior instead of moving closer to having sex or strong emotional connection.

Importance of Complimenting Girls During Sex

• When you really compliment a girl during sex, it's probably one of the best things you can do without overthinking.

• Make her feel awesome not physically but emotionally.

Expectations During Sex

In this section, the speaker talks about expectations during sex and how guys tend to exaggerate their sexual performance. He explains that being mindful and present during sex is more important than trying to last as long as possible.

How Long He Lasts Generally

• Generally lasts less than 10 minutes (honestly).

• Sometimes longer but generally around 8 minutes on average.

• Guys who say they last for 45 minutes are mindless and not even focused on pleasure.

Importance of Being Mindful During Sex

• If you're mindful, present, feeling loving towards your partner, and enjoying the moment then lasting long doesn't matter.

• Being mindful is more important than trying to last as long as possible.

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Focusing on Yourself and the Psychological Aspect of Sex

In this section, the speaker discusses how focusing on oneself and the psychological aspect of sex can lead to better sexual experiences. He argues that conventional advice that focuses solely on physical pleasure is not effective.

Focusing on Yourself

• The speaker argues that modern society tells men to focus on pleasing women, but this is a "blue pill" narrative.

• Instead, he suggests focusing on what you want and the pleasure and experience you desire.

• When he focused solely on physical pleasure for women, they never came back to him. However, when he focused on their psychological feelings, they wanted more.

Psychological Aspect of Sex

• The speaker shares an experience where a girl became incredibly submissive and sexy when he put her in a certain frame of mind.

• He notes that focusing solely on physical pleasure does not make one better at sex. Rather, it's about making the woman feel good psychologically.

• The conventional advice has led to a society where people are having less sex than before despite being more sexual online.

Men Who Are Good in Bed

In this section, the speaker talks about how only a small percentage of men are good in bed because they trigger a psychological feeling in women.

Triggering Psychological Feeling

• The speaker argues that there are three types of men: those who are bad in bed or not interested; those who follow conventional advice and focus solely on physical pleasure; and those who trigger a psychological feeling in women.

• Women find men who trigger a psychological feeling to be very exciting and enjoyable in bed.

• These men make women feel sexy, and while physical pleasure is important, it's the feeling that matters more.

Final Thoughts

In this section, the speaker concludes his thoughts on sex and offers some final advice.

Final Advice

• The speaker doesn't want to offer tips on how to be better in bed because he finds them useless.

• Instead, he suggests focusing on yourself and what you want out of sex.

• He argues that conventional advice has led to a society where people are having less sex despite being more sexual online.

Understanding the Basics of Sex

In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding basic sexual anatomy and hygiene.

Importance of Knowing Sexual Anatomy and Hygiene

• It is important to know the basics of sexual anatomy and hygiene.

• Visualizing scientific pictures can help in understanding sexual anatomy.

• Basic hygiene practices such as cleaning and trimming nails are essential for good sexual health.

The Importance of Frame in Sex

In this section, the speaker discusses how having a strong frame can improve one's sexual experiences.

Understanding Frame

• Having a strong frame is crucial for enjoying sex.

• For some people, understanding frame comes naturally while others may take longer to grasp it.

• Living in your own frame helps you enjoy sex more by focusing on what gives you pleasure.

Girls Live Vicariously Through Chad

In this section, the speaker explains how girls tend to live vicariously through "Chads" and why it's important to have fun during sex.

The Role of Chad in Sexual Experiences

• Girls tend to view guys they sleep with as "Chads" or alphas.

• Girls live vicariously through Chads and are attracted to guys who are having fun during sex.

Understanding Autistic Behavior

In this section, the speaker discusses how humans have an animalistic sense that is responsible for autistic behavior.

Autistic Behavior

• Humans have an animalistic sense that is responsible for autistic behavior.

• Autistic people love being around high-value guys and chads.

• Sacrificing your frame to live in her frame may not be worth it unless you enjoy submitting to a woman.

• Unless you are the type of guy who loves to submit to a woman, she might not enjoy it as much.

Conclusion

In this section, the speaker concludes the video after discussing various topics such as living in your frame, sacrificing your frame, and understanding autistic behavior.

Final Thoughts

• The video was all over the place but hopefully helpful.

• Do the hard work if you like it.