On Feeling Stuck

On Feeling Stuck

Feeling Stuck

The speaker discusses how many people feel stuck in their lives due to a strong desire to move forward on an issue meeting with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. Childhood experiences and family dynamics can create unspoken laws that hold us back from progressing.

Childhood Laws

  • Childhood experiences and complicated families are the originators of restrictive unspoken laws that impact our lives.
  • These laws might include "Make sure you never shine, it would upset your little sister" or "You have to be cheerful not to let my depression break through."
  • Any long-term stuckness is likely the result of butting into some sort of law inherited unknowingly from childhood.
  • We may discover that we can't give up on finance and take up a more imaginative role because throughout childhood, we had to accept a law that we couldn't be both creatively fulfilled and make money.

Overcoming Stuckness

  • One of the main paths to liberation lies in coming to 'see' that the law exists and then unpicking its warped and unnecessary logic.
  • Realizing there might be a law in operation when we get stuck helps us understand that we aren't merely being cowardly or slow in not progressing.

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Video description

Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/BI2Sn Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/hAkFq FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3iDqELt “Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully want to leave a job in finance in order to retrain in architecture – but at the same time, remain blocked by a range of doubts, hesitations, counter-arguments and guilty feelings. Or we might be impelled to leave our marriage – while simultaneously unable to imagine any realistic life outside it. To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is killing us as well. Every avenue appears shut off. And so one ruminates, turns over the question late at night, tries the patience of therapists – and watches life go by with mounting anxiety and self-disgust…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Julia Marchowska https://www.juliamarchowska.com/animation Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/