9. Evolution, Emotion, and Reason: Love (Guest Lecture by

Introduction to the Lecture

In this section, Professor Paul Bloom introduces Dean Peter Salovey as the guest lecturer for the Introduction to Psychology course. He highlights Peter's background in social psychology and his contributions to health psychology and emotional intelligence.

About Dean Peter Salovey

In this section, Professor Bloom provides more information about Dean Peter Salovey's background as an active scientist and a well-known teacher at Yale College.

Contributions to Social Psychology

• Dean Salovey is an active scientist in social psychology who has conducted research on health psychology and emotional intelligence.

Teaching Experience

• Dean Salovey taught one of the largest courses ever in Yale College - a course on Psychology in Law which broke every record ever had here.

• He was also a legendary Introduction to Psychology teacher.

Love: An Emotion

In this section, Dean Peter Salovey talks about his main area of research which is human emotion. He mentions that love is an emotion but not one that he personally studies in the lab.

Love as an Emotion

• Love is considered an emotion.

• Although it's not something he studies personally, it's fun to talk about because it lends itself to many social psychological phenomena.

Ethical Considerations in Studying Love

In this section, Dean Peter Salovey discusses ethical considerations when studying love and attraction. He mentions that some experiments discussed were done when ethical standards were different and may not be considered acceptable today.

Ethical Standards for Research

• Some of the experiments discussed were done in the ‘50s and ‘60s and early ‘70s when ethical standards were different.

• Although these experiments can still be taught, they cannot be replicated today due to ethical considerations.

Limitations of Research

• There is a certain androcentric and heterosexual quality to much of the social psychological research on romantic love.

• Participants are usually men and targets are usually women in these experiments.

Sternberg's Theory of Love

In this section, Dean Peter Salovey discusses Robert Sternberg's theory of love which argues that it is made up of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Components of Love

• According to Sternberg's theory, love is made up of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

• Intimacy refers to the feeling of closeness or bonding with someone through sharing information that isn't shared with many other people.

• Passion refers to physical attraction or sex drive that leads to romance.

• Commitment refers to the decision to label a relationship as love and maintain it for some period of time.

Sternberg's Theory of Love

In this section, the speaker introduces Sternberg's theory of love and explains the three elements that make up love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. The speaker also discusses the different types of relationships that can exist based on these elements.

Elements of Love

• Non-love is when there is no intimacy, passion or commitment.

• Liking is when there is intimacy but no passion or commitment.

• Infatuation is when there is passion but no intimacy or commitment.

• Empty love is when there is only commitment without intimacy or passion.

• Romantic love involves intimacy and passion without commitment.

• Companionate love involves intimacy and commitment without passion.

Examples of Relationships

• Empty love often occurs in long-term relationships that have gone bad but people stay together for other reasons such as children or finances.

• Societies where marriages are arranged often start with empty love as the first stage of a relationship.

• Romantic love often starts with physical attraction and bonding without any long-term commitments.

Conclusion

Sternberg's theory provides a framework for understanding the different types of relationships that can exist based on the presence or absence of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Understanding these elements can help individuals better understand their own relationships and what they may be lacking.

Fatuous Love and Consummate Love

In this section, the speaker discusses Sternberg's theory of love, which includes three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. The speaker explains that when all three elements are present in a relationship, it is considered "consummate love." On the other hand, when only passion is present without intimacy or commitment, it is called "fatuous love."

• Fatuous love refers to a whirlwind courtship where two people are committed to maintaining physical attraction but may not have anything else in common.

• Consummate love is defined as having all three elements of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

• As a homework assignment, the speaker suggests making a list of every person you know by the three elements of love and tallying up your personal love box score.

Social Psychology of Attraction

In this section, the speaker discusses what makes people find each other attractive and what leads to romantic relationships. The social psychology of attraction has focused on seven variables that can be divided into two groups: the big three (proximity, similarity, and physical attractiveness) and the more interesting four (reciprocity, resources/supportiveness/dependability/stability).

The Big Three

• Proximity refers to people who find themselves in close spatial proximity to each other being more likely to be attracted to each other.

• Similarity refers to people being more likely to find each other attractive when they are similar on any dimension that psychologists have measured.

The More Interesting Four

• Reciprocity refers to liking those who like us back.

• Resources/supportiveness/dependability/stability refer to individuals who possess these traits being more attractive to potential partners.

The Big Three

In this section, Professor Salovey discusses the three main factors that influence attraction.

Similarity Breeds Attraction

• Similarity breeds attraction.

• Opposites do not attract.

• Common sayings like "opposites attract" and "similarity breeds contempt" are not supported by evidence.

Familiarity Breeds Attraction

• Familiarity breeds attraction.

• People tend to fall in love with those who are already familiar to them.

• Enchanted evenings with strangers across crowded rooms are cultural myths.

Proximity Breeds Attraction

• Proximity breeds attraction.

• People tend to be attracted to those who are nearby in space.

The More Interesting Four

In this section, Professor Salovey discusses four more subtle factors that influence attraction.

Competence and the Pratfall Effect

• Competence influences attraction.

• We are more attracted to competent people than incompetent people, but super competent people can be threatening.

• The Pratfall Effect states that we like competent individuals who occasionally make mistakes or have failure experiences.

Physical Attractiveness

• Physical attractiveness influences attraction.

• People tend to be attracted to those they perceive as physically attractive.

Similarity of Personality Traits

• Similarity of personality traits influences attraction.

• People tend to be attracted to those who share similar personality traits with them.

Reciprocity of Liking

• Reciprocity of liking influences attraction.

• People tend to be attracted to those who show interest in them.

The Pratfall Effect

In this section, the speaker discusses the Pratfall Effect, which is a phenomenon where people become more attractive to others after making a mistake or blunder.

The Attractiveness of Competence

• People tend to find competent individuals more attractive than mediocre ones.

• However, when asked to rate attractiveness after listening to an audiotape, participants rated the competent person who made a mistake as even more attractive.

• Conversely, the mediocre person who made a mistake was rated even lower in attractiveness.

Personal Story and Introduction to Yale

• The speaker shares a personal story about spilling coffee during an interview with a potential advisor at Yale.

• He references Elliot Aronson's experiment on attractiveness and uses it as a way to make light of his blunder.

• The advisor responds by saying that the effect only works if she thinks he's competent first.

Physical Attractiveness

In this section, the speaker discusses physical attractiveness and its impact on our lives.

Importance of Physical Attractiveness

• Surveys show that college students rate physical attractiveness as important.

• Physical attractiveness can have an impact on job opportunities and social interactions.

Halo Effect

• The halo effect is when we assume that someone who is physically attractive also has other positive qualities such as intelligence or kindness.

• This can lead to biased judgments and unfair advantages for those who are physically attractive.

Cultural Differences in Beauty Standards

• Beauty standards vary across cultures and can be influenced by factors such as media and societal norms.

• The speaker gives examples of how beauty standards have changed over time in the United States.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

• The speaker discusses how our beliefs about physical attractiveness can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

• For example, if we believe that someone is physically attractive, we may treat them better, which can lead to them developing more positive qualities over time.

Physical Attractiveness and Relationship Success

In this section, the speaker discusses how physical attractiveness plays a role in relationship success. They reference studies that show that physical attractiveness is a strong predictor of whether or not two people will go on a second date.

Physical Attractiveness as a Predictor of Relationship Success

• Studies have shown that physical attractiveness is a strong predictor of whether or not two people will go on a second date.

• While physical attractiveness may not be as important for long-term relationships, it is still an important factor in determining whether or not two people will continue to see each other after the first date.

• Despite this evidence, many college students claim that looks are unimportant when it comes to dating.

The Frizzy Wig Experiment

• Elliot Aronson conducted an experiment where he had a confederate wear either attractive or unattractive clothing and give participants feedback on their personality.

• When the confederate was made to look attractive but gave negative feedback, participants were upset but still wanted to interact with her in the future.

• This suggests that attractive people's feedback has more impact on us than less attractive people's feedback.

Gain vs Loss

• People are wired to be more sensitive to change than steady states because change often signals danger or opportunity.

The Gain and Loss Effect

In this section, the speaker discusses the Gain and Loss effect, which refers to how people's regard for us changes over time.

The Power of Positive Regard

• People who were not initially positive towards us but become more positive over time are more attractive to us.

• The first derivative of someone's regard for us is more important than their overall position towards us.

• People whose regard for us is gaining momentum over time are particularly attractive.

The Pain of Losing Positive Regard

• People who always hated or disliked us cannot hurt us as much as those who used to be positive but now have negative feelings towards us.

• We can only be hurt by those we love because we expect positive feedback from them. When that turns negative, it hurts.

Misattribution of Arousal

In this section, the speaker discusses how people sometimes misattribute the cause of their arousal.

Misattributing Causes of Arousal

• Sometimes people feel physiologically aroused but are not sure why and must make up an explanation for it.

• Misattribution occurs when people mistake the cause of their arousal; they may think it's love when it could be due to something else entirely.

Thought Experiment

• The speaker describes a thought experiment where he goes on a date with a classmate and they get coffee at Starbucks.

• The barista accidentally uses caffeinated coffee instead of decaf in the speaker's date's drink, causing her to feel physically aroused and attribute it to romantic feelings towards the speaker.

Conclusion

In this section, the speaker concludes his discussion on misattribution of arousal.

Caffeine as a Cause of Arousal

• The speaker's date attributes her physical arousal to romantic feelings when it was actually caused by caffeine.

• Two shots of caffeinated espresso can cause a rapid heart rate and increase in respiration, leading people to mistake their physical arousal for romantic attraction.

Love and Misattribution

In this section, the speaker talks about how people often misattribute their feelings of arousal to physical attraction, romance, intimacy, passion and commitment. The speaker also discusses a field experiment conducted at the University of British Columbia called the "Rickety Bridge" experiment.

Misattributed Arousal

• People often misattribute their feelings of arousal to physical attraction, romance, intimacy, passion and commitment.

• This can lead to confusion about what love really is.

The Rickety Bridge Experiment

• The "Rickety Bridge" experiment was conducted at the University of British Columbia.

• Male students were asked to cross a rickety bridge or a low bridge while an attractive female confederate intercepted them and asked them to write a story for her experiment.

• Men who crossed the rickety bridge wrote more interesting stories with ribald themes and were more likely to call the confederate later on.

• This was interpreted as misattributed arousal because crossing the rickety bridge caused physiological arousal that was then attributed to physical attraction towards the confederate.

Limitations of Field Experiments

• The Rickety Bridge experiment had limitations because there wasn't random assignment of subjects to conditions in the study which may have captured individual differences in personality traits rather than actual effects of crossing bridges on physiological arousal.

Lab Experiments

• To address these limitations lab experiments can be used where participants are randomly assigned to different conditions such as filling out forms before participating in an experiment or being told they will participate in a painful shock experiment before meeting an attractive confederate.

• In lab experiments, researchers can manipulate the conditions to better understand how physiological arousal affects attraction.

The Influence of Arousal on Attraction

In this section, the speaker discusses how arousal can influence attraction and presents several experiments to support this claim.

Exercise and Attraction

• Participants who engaged in aerobic exercise before an experiment found the experimenter more attractive.

• This phenomenon has implications for situations like the fourth floor of Payne Whitney Gym, where people may misattribute their arousal to attraction.

Heartbeat Experiment

• Male participants were shown centerfolds from Playboy magazine while listening to a recording of a heartbeat that was randomly sped up or slowed down.

• Participants were more likely to find the centerfold they were looking at when the heartbeat was sped up more attractive.

• This experiment shows that people can misattribute real or phony arousal to attraction.

Implications for Domestic Violence

• People may stay in abusive relationships because they believe there is no alternative or because they misattribute their partner's aggression as love.

• The speaker shares a story about a friend who misattributed her partner's aggression as love.

The Implications of Misattribution

In this section, the speaker discusses the implications of misattribution and how it can affect our understanding of attraction.

Misattributing Fear as Mutual Attraction

• The speaker explains how people can misattribute their own fear as mutual attraction.

• This has serious implications for our understanding of attraction and relationships.

Salience and Arousal

• The more salient we make the source of arousal, the less likely we are to get a misattribution effect.

• However, even when the cause of arousal is somewhat obvious, we can still get a misattribution effect.

Factors Affecting Initial Attraction and Relationship Maintenance

In this section, the speaker discusses factors that affect initial attraction and relationship maintenance.

Proximity, Familiarity, and Similarity

• Proximity, familiarity, and similarity all affect both initial attraction and maintenance over time.

• However, there is much richer data on initial attraction because it's difficult to follow couples over time.

Can Someone Feel Consummate Love for More Than One Person?

In this section, the speaker addresses whether someone can feel consummate love for more than one person.

Evolutionary Perspective vs. Socially Constructed Perspective

• There is an ongoing debate about whether someone can feel consummate love for more than one person.

• The evolutionary perspective argues that it would facilitate passing on genetic material to a larger array of the next generation.

• However, social constraints in most societies say that you cannot love more than one person.

Applying Psychology to Love

In this section, the speaker discusses whether natural selection would favor people who learn about attraction and apply that knowledge.

Evolutionary Argument

• The question is whether natural selection would favor people who learn about attraction and apply that knowledge.

• The evolutionary argument suggests that if you could design a proclivity for learning this kind of material, evolution might indeed favor it.

• However, passing on acquired characteristics is counter to Darwinian theory.