World Leading Life Coach: 3 Steps To Figuring Out ANYTHING You Want: Marie Forleo | E184

The Impact of Childhood Experiences on Beliefs

In this section, Marie shares a pivotal childhood memory that significantly influenced her beliefs and mindset.

Early Childhood Memory and Its Influence

• Marie recalls a poignant memory from her childhood when her parents were going through a divorce.

• Witnessing her mother's emotional distress and fear about financial instability left a lasting impact on Marie.

• Her mother's words emphasizing independence and financial control deeply shaped Marie's beliefs about money and love.

Challenges of Prioritizing Money as a Motivator

Marie discusses the consequences of prioritizing money as a primary motivator in life.

Impact of Money as a Motivator

• While money provided a strong work ethic, it also led to self-criticism and never feeling satisfied with achievements.

• The constant drive for financial security resulted in working excessively, missing out on personal experiences, and feeling inadequate.

Pattern of Overperformance and Self-Reflection

Marie discusses the pattern of overperformance, feeling lazy when considering taking a break, and struggling with self-kindness.

Struggle with Overperformance

• Marie expresses the pattern of overdoing tasks and feeling lazy when contemplating taking a break.

• Despite being called productive by her partner, Marie struggles to believe it and is unkind to herself.

Balancing Satisfaction and Motivation

• Marie reflects on the balance between feeling unsatisfied as motivation for improvement while deferring happiness for the future.

• She ponders finding the sweet spot between acknowledging more work to be done and being content in the present moment.

Evolving Self-Appreciation

• Marie emphasizes daily practice in recognizing achievements, embracing gratitude for past accomplishments, and excitement for future endeavors.

• She contrasts past feelings of inadequacy with current contentment and enthusiasm for ongoing growth.

Career Transition: From Wall Street to Coaching

Marie recounts her journey from working on Wall Street to discovering her passion for coaching through introspection and familial support.

Career Reflection

• Despite initial excitement about working on Wall Street, Marie felt a disconnect from her true calling.

• A pivotal moment occurred when she realized that her job did not align with her authentic self, leading to deep introspection.

Supportive Guidance

• Feeling trapped in a job she despised, Marie sought advice from her father who encouraged her to pursue work that brought fulfillment.

• Her father's wisdom inspired Marie to explore avenues where she could combine business acumen with creativity.

Discovery of Coaching

• Serendipitously stumbling upon an article about coaching ignited a profound realization within Marie about her life's purpose.

Voice of Intuition and Self-Discovery

In this section, the speaker delves into the concept of an inner voice, discussing how it manifests, its significance in decision-making, and ways to tune into it amidst external influences.

The Presence of Inner Voice

• The speaker believes that everyone possesses an inner voice linked to a higher power or intelligence that guides and supports individuals.

• Describes the inner voice as gentle, encouraging, and persistent, providing subtle nudges towards decisions that may defy societal norms or conditioning.

Influence of External Voices

• External voices such as societal expectations, familial beliefs, and peer influence often overshadow the inner voice.

• Society's standards and external pressures can drown out one's intuition, leading individuals to prioritize external validation over their internal guidance.

Tuning into the Inner Voice

• Reflecting on past experiences where one ignored their intuition can help individuals recognize the distinct feeling and sound of their inner voice.

• Practices like meditation and exercise can help reduce mental noise and amplify the clarity of the inner voice amidst insecurities or fears.

New Section

In this section, the discussion revolves around making decisions based on intuition and body sensations rather than fear or external pressures.

Deciding Based on Expansion vs. Contraction

• When considering an opportunity, assess if saying yes feels expansive or contracted in your body.

• Intuition guides towards expansion (lightness, joy), while contraction (heaviness, dread) signals a mismatch.

• Past tendencies of making contractive decisions stemmed from seeking approval and success.

New Section

This part delves into the implications of short-term rewards versus long-term fulfillment in decision-making processes.

Short-Term Carrots vs. Long-Term Effects

• Short-term rewards may entice but can lead to detrimental long-term consequences.

• Instances where initial contraction led to positive outcomes upon action.

New Section

The conversation shifts towards motivations behind decisions and the impact of preconceived notions on experiences.

Motivations and Preconceptions

• Money as a motivator for overriding initial contractions in decision-making.

• Preconceived notions about travel and time investment influencing decisions.

New Section

Exploring the distinction between thought-generated feelings and visceral bodily sensations in decision-making processes.

Thought vs. Body Sensations

• Dread often stems from thoughts; contrasting with intuitive bodily sensations.

• Expansive/contractive feelings are more about physical sensations than mental constructs.

New Section

Reflecting on pivotal moments leading to career transitions and the importance of tuning into one's inner voice for guidance.

Career Transitions and Inner Voice

• Transition from publishing to coaching highlighted; emphasis on following inner guidance amidst uncertainty.

Clarity Comes from Engagement, Not Thought

In this section, the speaker emphasizes the importance of taking action and engaging in activities to gain clarity and insight rather than just thinking about it.

Importance of Engagement

• Taking action in areas of interest leads to insights and opens up creative channels.

• Clarity comes from engagement, not passive thinking or scrolling through social media.

• Giving oneself permission to experiment and try new things is crucial for learning and discovery.

The Art of Quitting

The discussion revolves around the significance of quitting as a skill that is equally important as starting something new.

Embracing Quitting

• Quitting is essential for progress and should be viewed as a valuable skill.

• Understanding one's risk averseness is crucial in navigating career changes effectively.

• Keeping a day job while pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors can reduce the likelihood of failure.

Navigating Uncertainty in Career Transitions

The conversation delves into personal experiences regarding career transitions, highlighting the importance of perseverance and adaptability.

Career Transition Insights

• Embracing uncertainty and focusing on personal growth rather than fixed outcomes can lead to unexpected opportunities.

Vision and Progress in Entrepreneurship

The speaker discusses the importance of having a vision in entrepreneurship, sharing personal experiences about progress, perfectionism, and starting before feeling ready.

Having a Vision

• Not initially having a clear five-year vision but focusing on immediate goals.

• Emphasizing the commitment to becoming the best coach by gaining experience through working with various clients.

Progress Over Perfectionism

• Highlighting how perfectionism leads to procrastination and emphasizing the value of messy progress.

• Criticizing the notion of perfectionism perpetuated by fake life coaches and entrepreneurs.

Starting Before Feeling Ready

• Sharing a personal anecdote of conducting a workshop with minimal attendees at a young age, highlighting the importance of starting despite uncertainties.

• Reflecting on past experiences as messy but essential for growth and learning.

Philosophy for Problem-Solving

The speaker introduces three rules that underpin the "figureoutable" mindset, emphasizing problem-solving approaches in entrepreneurship.

Three Rules for Problem-Solving

• Rule 1: All problems or dreams are figureoutable with determination and effort.

• Rule 2: Acknowledging that some problems may be beyond resolution due to natural laws or limitations.

Personal Investment in Goals

• Rule 3: Encouraging individuals to assess their level of care towards specific goals for effective problem-solving.

Motivation and Priorities

In this section, the speaker discusses the concept of wanting to want something and the pressure individuals put on themselves to desire certain things.

Wanting to Want

• Individuals often feel pressured to want certain things, even if they don't truly desire them.

• The speaker shares a conversation with a friend about the pressure they have felt in their career to want specific achievements.

• Using social media as an example, the speaker reflects on feeling inadequate for not prioritizing it despite external expectations.

Honesty in Prioritization

This part delves into the importance of being honest about priorities and acknowledging what one truly wants versus what they think they should want.

Acknowledging True Desires

• The speaker emphasizes transparency in admitting when something is not a genuine priority.

• It is challenging but crucial to accept when one doesn't care enough or truly want something.

• People often make excuses for not pursuing goals they think they should want but don't genuinely desire.

Can't vs. Won't Mentality

Here, the discussion revolves around distinguishing between "can't" and "won't" as a means of understanding true priorities and desires.

Shifting Mindset

• Understanding the difference between "can't" and "won't" helps reveal true intentions behind excuses.

• Most instances where people say "can't" actually imply a lack of willingness or priority rather than impossibility.

• Encouraging oneself to acknowledge when something is not a current priority leads to honesty and freedom in decision-making.

Empowerment through Language Shift

This segment highlights how changing language from "can't" to "won't" empowers individuals by affirming their agency over choices and priorities.

Language Empowerment

• Shifting from saying "I can't" to "I won’t" signifies taking control of decisions and priorities.

• Embracing honesty in self-talk fosters self-love, authenticity, and fulfillment beyond societal expectations.

Interview Insights

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of honesty in relationships and how authenticity impacts personal interactions.

Importance of Honesty

• Being honest was described as the best thing ever done, emphasizing its significance in various aspects of life.

• An anecdote about a cold call highlighted the impact of honesty, showcasing how directness can be disarming and effective.

• The speaker found inspiration in someone's honesty during a sales call, recognizing the power of transparent communication.

• Honesty was noted to be disarming and effective, challenging traditional approaches to communication.

• People are acknowledged to be smarter than often perceived, understanding honesty even in social interactions.

Personal Relationships and Growth

This segment delves into personal experiences with relationships and self-discovery over time.

Evolution of Relationships

• Reflecting on past work like a book from 2002 shows growth and evolution over time despite initial perceptions.

• Personal challenges with romantic love were shared, highlighting unique perspectives on marriage and children.

• Early desires or lack thereof for marriage and children were traced back to childhood influences and personal truths.

Impact of Early Experiences

• The speaker's journey with relationships was influenced by early experiences, shaping attachment styles and relationship dynamics.

• Observations on friends' relationships mirroring learned models from their upbringing were made, emphasizing the impact of childhood impressions.

Relationship Therapy Insights

• Extensive therapy experiences were mentioned within the speaker's relationship journey, indicating efforts towards growth and improvement.

The Importance of Prioritizing Relationships Over Work

In this segment, the speaker discusses the significance of choosing partners who have contrasting childhood wounds to heal each other. The conversation delves into personal experiences and the impact of prioritizing work over relationships.

Choosing Partners for Healing

• Individuals often select partners with opposite childhood wounds to address their own emotional needs.

• Personal desires for freedom or attachment can influence partner selection based on childhood experiences.

Impact on Relationships

• Neglecting relationships for work can lead to significant challenges and strains in personal connections.

• Balancing workaholic tendencies with the need for attention and connection is crucial for relationship sustainability.

Reevaluating Success Metrics

• Recognizing areas where one's life lacks fulfillment despite professional success is essential.

• Redefining success beyond material achievements to include relationships, friendships, and personal growth is a courageous choice.

Overcoming Fear of Prioritizing Relationships

This part focuses on addressing the fear that prevents individuals from prioritizing relationships over work, leading to unhappiness despite professional success.

Fear-Based Decision Making

• Fear stemming from past experiences can drive individuals to prioritize work over personal connections.

• Despite business success, neglecting relationships can result in profound unhappiness and a sense of being trapped by fear.

Pursuing Fulfillment

• Acknowledging the importance of love, friendships, and downtime in life is crucial for overall well-being.

• Embracing courage to redefine success by valuing connections and personal growth leads to a more fulfilling life journey.

Balancing Business Success with Personal Fulfillment

Here, the discussion centers around redefining success metrics to prioritize love and relationships over professional achievements for a more balanced and enriched life.

Redefining Success Criteria

• Evaluating priorities by considering what truly matters in life beyond financial gains or external validation.

• Recognizing the need to shift focus from business as the top priority towards nurturing love and meaningful connections.

Striking a Balance

• Internal conflict between pursuing career goals intensely while recognizing the importance of personal relationships is common but challenging.

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

In this section, the speaker discusses how learning communication tools helped improve their relationship dynamics with their partner.

How Communication Tools Enhanced Understanding

• The tools learned from Harvel and Helen helped the speaker relax, enabling them to better hear, see, and understand their partner's needs without feeling threatened.

Integration of Success and Understanding

• Previously, success and understanding seemed conflicting, but after using the tools, both aspects integrated seamlessly. This integration led to mutual feeling of being heard and seen.

Recognizing Partner's Needs

• Through practice, the speaker realized that their partner needed presence, support, and love more than just time. Understanding these needs improved mutual support in business endeavors.

Shifting Motivations in Business

This part delves into how shifting motivations from fear to desire and creativity positively impacted business interactions.

Transition in Motivations

• Shifting from fear-driven actions to desire and creativity led to a supportive environment where decisions were based on enthusiasm rather than fear of failure.

Embracing Full Body Yes

• The focus shifted towards saying yes only to opportunities that resonated as a full body yes rather than pursuing ventures solely for external validation or material gain.

Challenges Faced by Women Regarding Life Choices

Here, the discussion revolves around societal pressures faced by women regarding life choices like career focus over traditional roles.

Societal Expectations on Women

• Men often overlook the social battles women face when deviating from traditional expectations of marriage and motherhood. The pressure on women to conform to outdated stereotypes is highlighted.

Choice Over Conformity

Desire for Choice and Impact

In this segment, the speaker emphasizes the importance of women having the freedom to choose their paths, including whether or not to have a family. She highlights the impact of societal expectations on individuals' decisions.

Empowerment through Choice

• The speaker advocates for women's right to choose their destinies, including deciding on family life.

• Many women feel pressured to conform to societal norms, but the speaker challenges these expectations in 2022.

• Expressing her own path of helping people give birth to ideas rather than physical children, she stresses the need for diverse choices for women's fulfillment.

Challenging Time Stress

This part delves into the concept of time stress and its impact on well-being and productivity. The speaker shares personal experiences and insights on managing time effectively.

Overcoming Time Stress

• The speaker reflects on a period of burnout due to time stress and introduces a program aimed at healing this paradigm.

• Describing symptoms of time stress like guilt over rest and difficulty prioritizing tasks, she underscores the need for effective time management strategies.

• The program focuses on mindset shifts towards becoming a "Time genius" with an emphasis on prioritization and focus.

Optimizing Daily Productivity

This section explores practical strategies for enhancing daily productivity by setting oneself up for success. The speaker discusses creating conducive environments and routines for improved efficiency.

Enhancing Productivity

• Emphasizing setting up daily routines tailored to individual preferences for optimal performance.

• Discussing the importance of designing workspaces conducive to productivity and minimizing distractions.

New Section

In this section, the speaker discusses the concept of focus and how pursuing multiple interests can lead to fulfillment.

Finding Fulfillment in Pursuing Multiple Interests

• The speaker mentions using her art Instagram account as a platform to explore different interests without feeling broken.

• Contrary to traditional entrepreneurial advice emphasizing focus, she found that pursuing various passions brought her more joy and fulfillment.

• Reflecting on her experience as a coach and bartender, she realized the importance of expressing all facets of herself rather than limiting to one role.

• By taking a 10-year test regarding dance, she decided to incorporate it into her career despite lacking formal training, leading her down a path of diverse experiences.

Focus and Creativity in Business

The discussion revolves around the importance of creating unique content by drawing inspiration from unconventional sources to excel in business endeavors.

Prioritizing Unique Creations

• Emphasizes the significance of creating novel and unprecedented content that resonates with audiences.

• Stresses the need to derive inspiration from unusual and unexplored avenues to establish a distinctive coaching business.

Overcoming Stage Anxiety

Delving into personal challenges related to stage anxiety and the process of transforming struggles into opportunities for growth.

Managing Stage Nervousness

• Acknowledges past struggles with stage anxiety but expresses excitement about improving public speaking skills.

• Highlights efforts to address nervousness on stage, especially when facing unfamiliar audiences.

Dealing with Professional Challenges

Exploring professional hurdles such as anxiety, fear, and the quest for delivering impactful presentations amidst various commitments.

Addressing Performance Anxiety

• Discusses concerns about managing anxiety related to public speaking engagements and preparing high-value presentations.

• Emphasizes the importance of seeking assistance and support when navigating through performance-related challenges.

Navigating Personal Growth

Reflecting on personal development journeys, self-criticism, and fostering a supportive environment for continuous growth.

Personal Evolution Insights

• Shares insights on personal growth experiences, emphasizing a lack of consistent struggles due to prior focus on mental health and self-improvement.

Marie Forleo on Managing Self-Doubt and Social Media

Marie Forleo discusses managing self-doubt, the impact of social media on mental health, and strategies for maintaining a healthy relationship with online platforms.

Dealing with Self-Doubt

• Marie acknowledges the persistent voice that questions her abilities to perform effortlessly on stage.

• Despite improvements, she admits to not being perfect but less susceptible to external judgments.

• Reflecting on past experiences, Marie shares how comparison can lead to feeling inadequate.

Impact of Social Media

• Marie reveals that being on social media was unhealthy for her as it triggered negative comparisons and affected her productivity.

• She emphasizes the toxicity of comparing oneself on social media and highlights the benefits of disconnecting from it.

Strategies for Healthy Social Media Use

• Marie explains how setting personal boundaries and standards is crucial for using social media in a healthy way.

• She suggests creative solutions like delegating content creation tasks to maintain an online presence without direct involvement.

Maintaining Mental Well-being Online

• Marie advises utilizing tools within social media platforms to customize the experience and avoid triggers that impact mental health.

Intentionality in Media Consumption

The discussion emphasizes the importance of being intentional about the tools and mediums used for communication and content creation to effectively connect with the audience while minimizing negative impacts.

Being Intentional About Tools

• Being intentional about the tools used is crucial for effective communication.

• Selecting tools that align with one's message can enhance reach and impact.

• Exploring scheduling options and various tools to optimize content creation processes.

Impact of Media on Values

The conversation delves into how media influences values, behaviors, and decision-making processes, highlighting the need for conscious consumption to avoid negative repercussions.

Influence of Media on Values

• Media exposure can significantly impact individuals' values at a fundamental level.

• The glamorization of products through media can alter perceptions and influence decision-making.

• Highlighting the importance of being mindful of media consumption to prevent skewed values and unfulfillment.

Creating Before Consuming

Prioritizing creation over consumption is discussed as a strategy to foster personal growth, creativity, and mindfulness in daily routines.

Prioritizing Creation

• Emphasizing the practice of creating before consuming for personal development.

• Encouraging activities such as writing, art, or spending time in nature before engaging in external content.

• Using creation as a tool for self-reflection and mindfulness throughout the day.

Learning from Challenges

Reflecting on lessons learned from challenging experiences, focusing on trusting one's instincts and inner wisdom during difficult times.

Lessons from Challenges

• Acknowledging the importance of trusting one's instincts during low points.

• Avoiding outsourcing decisions or seeking external validation during tough situations.

Done and Defense Mechanism

The speaker reflects on a past relationship where they expressed determination to fight for it despite challenges.

Inner Voice's Influence

• The speaker recalls a moment when they asserted their commitment to the relationship, despite hearing that their partner no longer loved them.

• An inner voice urged the speaker to fight for the relationship and not give up easily.

• They expressed willingness to do anything, including therapy, to salvage the relationship and prevent losing their partner.

Importance of Listening to Inner Voice

The speaker emphasizes the significance of following one's inner voice over ego-driven reactions in relationships.

Relationship Resolution

• By being assertive yet loving, the speaker conveyed their dedication to working on the relationship and not letting go easily.

• They express gratitude for listening to their deeper inner voice that encouraged fighting for the relationship rather than succumbing to hurt and rejection.

Acknowledgment of Wisdom and Insights

Gratitude is expressed towards Mary for her wisdom and unique perspective on overcoming challenges.

Appreciation for Insightful Guidance

• The speaker acknowledges Mary's valuable insights as shared in her book "Everything is Figureoutable," which offers solutions to significant life challenges.

• Mary's approach is commended for being experience-based, original, thoughtful, and devoid of clichés, resonating with many individuals facing similar struggles.

Impactful Coaching Space

Recognition is given to Mary's work in coaching, particularly highlighting its inclusivity across gender boundaries.

Inclusive Coaching Approach

• Mary's work is praised for catering not only to men but also understanding women's experiences in navigating societal narratives and internal voices.