Conscious Leadership Co-Founder on How to Feel Fully Alive | Diana Chapman

Understanding Feelings and Emotions

In this section, Diana Chapman talks about the importance of understanding one's feelings and emotions. She explains how acknowledging and feeling one's emotions can lead to a sense of full aliveness.

Feeling Your Emotions

• Diana discusses the importance of feeling one's emotions.

• She shares her own experience of checking in with herself and discovering a wave of sadness.

• Diana explains that not allowing feelings to move through the body is one of the key ways people don't feel their full aliveness.

Full Aliveness

• Diana defines full aliveness as feeling energized, vital, present, and able to respond to the moment.

• She shares some ways to achieve full aliveness, such as living a life where you are the creator rather than in victimhood, being curious instead of defensive, feeling your feelings, and being candid.

The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership

In this section, Diana Chapman talks about her book "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership" which maps out how one can live in their full aliveness.

Living in Full Aliveness

• Diana introduces her book "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership".

• She explains that the book maps out specifically how one can live in their full aliveness.

• Sean recommends the book as impactful and highly recommends it for listeners.

Conclusion

This podcast episode was focused on understanding feelings and emotions, and how to achieve full aliveness. Diana Chapman shared her insights on the importance of feeling one's emotions, being present, and taking radical responsibility for one's life. She also discussed her book "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership" which provides a roadmap for living in full aliveness.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding and feeling your emotions can lead to a sense of full aliveness.

• Full aliveness means feeling energized, vital, present, and able to respond to the moment.

• Living a life where you are the creator rather than in victimhood, being curious instead of defensive, feeling your feelings, and being candid are some ways to achieve full aliveness.

• "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership" is a book that maps out specifically how one can live in their full aliveness.

Authenticity and Emotional Intelligence

In this section, Diana talks about the importance of being authentic and acknowledging one's emotions. She also discusses how emotional intelligence can be used to help leaders connect with their teams.

The Better Version of Diana

• The better version of Diana is the authentic version.

• Being authentic means acknowledging one's emotions and not trying to put on a facade.

• Acknowledging one's emotions allows them to shift and change naturally.

Coaching Leaders

• Many leaders feel they need to put on a fake facade.

• Diana coaches leaders to be authentic and encourage others to do the same.

• Emotions are wise, and it's essential to welcome them.

Feeling Emotions

• It's crucial to make room for all feelings in a meeting or discussion.

• Once feelings have been acknowledged, leaders can move forward with finding solutions.

• Anger is a gift that signals something needs to change.

Wisdom of Emotions

• Emotions are wise because they signal when something needs attention or change.

• Anger signals that something needs to evolve or change for the betterment of oneself or others.

Understanding and Working with Emotions

In this section, the speaker discusses how to work with emotions such as anger, sadness, and fear.

Tapping into Anger

• The speaker encourages people to move their anger through their body before tapping into it.

• Once the person has moved their anger through their body, the speaker asks them what their anger is saying about what's not working for them or their people.

• The speaker then gathers wisdom from the person's anger.

Understanding Sadness

• Sadness can be caused by a loss of a pretty picture that someone had in mind.

• The speaker encourages people to let go of their imagined story about how things should be and focus on how they want to be with the situation as it is.

Embracing Fear

• Fear is a wise friend that tells us to pay attention when there's something we don't know.

• Fear helps us learn until we've got it, and then it goes away.

Fact vs. Story: Recognizing Our Stories

In this section, the speaker talks about recognizing our stories and separating them from facts.

Fact vs. Story

• The speaker introduces a practice called fact and story where people identify what are facts (what cameras record), versus stories (subjective experiences).

• People need to recognize that their stories are arguable and subjective.

Challenging Negative Stories

• When someone is stuck in a negative story, the speaker challenges them by asking how they're committed to sleepwalking through life.

• The speaker encourages people to question their stories, especially those that upset them, and recognize that they're not necessarily true.

Creating a Life of Sleepwalking

In this section, the speaker discusses how people can become unconsciously committed to sleepwalking through life and how they can create a life that they don't want.

How to Create a Life You Don't Want

• People can become unconsciously committed to sleepwalking through their lives.

• To create a life you don't want, believe that you have to live in a lot of obligation and have thoughts of scarcity around making money.

• Organize yourself to sleepwalk through life by limiting your options and believing there is only one way to do things.

• To change your life, go to the opposite of what you're doing now.

Getting Comfortable with the Unknown

In this section, the speaker talks about how fear automatically kicks in when people are in the unknown and how being comfortable with feeling fear is key to going into the unknown.

Welcoming Fear

• Can you let it be okay to be scared?

• Fear is an intelligence that shows up when we're in the unknown.

• Being willing to feel somatic experiences like butterflies or a pit in your stomach is key to going into the unknown.

• Teach your body to be more available by not labeling sensations as good or bad.

Reshaping Ideas Around Emotions

• Reshape ideas of good/bad/right/wrong around emotions.

• For most people, comfort is subjective and based on stories they tell themselves.

• What if feeling that nervous belly is actually exciting?

Relationship Issues and Self-Approval

In this section, the speaker discusses how people are often unwilling to change their relationship issues due to threats to their security, control, or approval. The speaker suggests that if people learn how to be the source of their own approval, they will be more willing to make changes in their relationships.

Self-Approval and Personality Types

• Some personalities may find it easier to self-approve than others.

• However, everyone can learn how to self-approve.

• People's willingness to shift is not personality-related but rather related to what makes them feel threatened (approval, control, or security).

Radical Responsibility and Control

• Taking radical responsibility means recognizing that you have control over creating your desired experiences regardless of external circumstances.

• Cultivating a sense of centeredness within oneself allows for greater control during chaotic times.

• The most challenging aspect of taking radical responsibility during chaos is maintaining a sense of centeredness and control.

Recognizing Reactivity and Practicing Acceptance

In this section, Diana shares her approach to recognizing reactivity and practicing acceptance. She explains how she creates space for herself and welcomes reactive parts of herself with compassion.

Creating Space for Reactive Parts

• Diana envisions a scared part of herself sitting on her lap and welcomes it with compassion.

• She uses her breath to breathe open space for the reactive part to be present.

• Diana argues that accepting our scared parts is crucial because we cannot shift what we cannot accept.

Practicing Notice and Allow

• Diana pays attention to noticing when she is triggered or reactive throughout the day.

• She has a note on her phone that reminds her to check if she is triggered or reactive several times a day.

• Meditation helps practice notice and allow by allowing thoughts without judgment.

• Regular practice over 25 years has helped make acceptance more natural.

Consciousness as a Muscle

• Consciousness requires regular care like muscles in the gym.

• Daily practice strengthens consciousness, making it easier to recognize reactivity and practice acceptance.

Above the Line and Below the Line

In this section, the speaker explains the concept of "above the line" and "below the line" thinking. She describes how being above or below the line affects our mindset and behavior.

Understanding Above and Below the Line

• Being above the line means being open-minded, curious, and willing to learn.

• Being below the line means being reactive, defensive, and closed off.

• We all bounce between above and below the line constantly.

• The goal is not to stay above the line all the time but to notice when we go below it, accept ourselves, and see if we're willing to shift.

Effects of Above and Below Thinking

• When we're above the line, we're more effective in getting our ideas across. We're open-minded and meet others' needs.

• When we're below the line, we tend to defend ourselves. Our heart closes up, our head closes up, our breath can close up too.

• Reactivity is what happens when we go below the line.

Motivation for Change

In this section, the speaker discusses what motivates people to change their lives meaningfully.

Drivers for Change

• People need to activate themselves either by being drawn towards a vision or by being fed up with how things have been going.

Vision and Discomfort

In this section, the speaker discusses how vision and discomfort can motivate people to change. She also talks about the importance of somatic intelligence in envisioning.

Vision and Discomfort

• Most humans move from discomfort rather than vision.

• A combination of vision and discomfort is what gets people to change.

• Everyone can be moved by vision equally, but people get lazy about it.

• Vision has a lot to do with how good one is willing to feel somatically.

• Comfort with sexual energy is important for being driven by a vision.

States of Visioning

• States of visioning engage all three centers: IQ, EQ, and BQ (body intelligence).

• People should think of themselves as movie writers/producers/directors for their own lives.

• Starting with breath is a great way to begin exploring somatic awareness.

• Imagining that your body is just a bunch of bits can help you become more aware of your body.

Developing Self-Awareness

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of self-awareness and shares a tool that has helped her gain more insight into herself.

Using Personas to Develop Self-Awareness

• The speaker learned about personas through the Hendricks Institute.

• She found it valuable to interview these parts of herself and learn more about them.

• Accepting every part of oneself can lead to greater self-acceptance and consciousness.

• Exaggerating certain personas can help one find value in them.

Zone of Genius

In this section, the speaker defines "zone of genius" and discusses how it relates to personas.

Defining Zone of Genius

• Zone of genius is something that one is innately good at and creates energy when doing it.

• It can be related to personas because certain personas may have gifts that relate to one's zone of genius.

Speaker's Zone of Genius

• The speaker's zone of genius is being able to tune in and feel what other people are feeling with great accuracy.

• She had this ability from a young age but had to learn how to turn it off at times for her own well-being.

Overcoming Limited Thinking

In this section, the speaker discusses limited thinking as a barrier to living in one's zone of genius.

Identifying One's Zone of Genius

• The speaker gives an example of a client who was good at golfing but didn't love it.

• Limited thinking, such as not knowing how to make a living doing what one is good at, can prevent one from living in their zone of genius.

Discovering Your Zone of Genius

In this section, the speaker discusses how people can become aware of their zone of genius and the importance of having a community around them to show what their gifts are.

Becoming Aware of Your Zone of Genius

• People may not be aware that they are in their zone of genius because it comes naturally to them.

• The Best Stuff exercise is an effective way to identify your zone of genius. It involves finding your eight favorite memories where you had fun and did a really good job.

• Following up with an email campaign asking people specific questions about those memories can validate what you found in your eight memories.

Importance of Community

• A community around you can help show what your gifts are and make you realize that they are unique to you.

• Having a community around you is one way to learn about your zone of genius.

The Power of Enneagram

In this section, the speaker talks about the Enneagram as a valuable personal development tool that helps identify what motivates people and drives them.

Understanding the Enneagram

• The Enneagram is a personal development tool that points out what causes people to get reactive and triggered in ways that keep them from being able to be their full present conscious selves.

• Unlike other personality tools, the Enneagram looks at what motivates and drives individuals, helping catch reactive patterns.

Using the Enneagram

• Getting an Enneagram typing is helpful in knowing how best to support someone.

• Most online tests are not accurate, so it's important to know that and get an Enneagram typing from a professional.