Julie Diamond - Power in conversation | Changing Conversations Podcast #8

Understanding Power in Conversations

Introduction to Power Dynamics

• Katrina and Steve introduce the concept of power as a neutral force, essential for motivation and inspiration in organizational settings.

• They express their curiosity about how changing conversations can transform organizations, emphasizing the importance of human-centric workplaces.

Guest Introduction: Julie Diamond

• Julie Diamond is introduced as an executive coach and leadership consultant with extensive experience in transformational learning.

• She has authored "Power: A User's Guide" and focuses on the implications of power dynamics within organizations.

Defining Power

• The conversation aims to define different types of power and explore their effects on workplace dynamics.

• Julie highlights that power is one of the most researched concepts in social sciences, varying by context (economics, psychology, leadership).

Types of Power

• Dr. Keltner’s definition frames power as the ability to influence change using available resources; Julie aligns her definition similarly.

• Two fundamental types of power are identified:

• Formal Power: Socially ratified or positional power based on titles and ranks.

• Informal Power: Less visible personal attributes like self-awareness and character that contribute to influence.

The Nature of Informal vs. Formal Power

• Julie explains that informal powers are often undervalued but crucial for effective action within organizations.

• Outsourced powers depend on external validation while insourced powers are developed internally, leading to greater independence.

The Taboo Around Discussing Power

• There is a reluctance to discuss power openly in organizations due to its negative connotations associated with misuse.

Understanding Power Dynamics in Organizations

The Nature of Power in Conversations

• The speaker expresses concern about the perception of power, suggesting that instead of fearing it, we should become better at using it effectively.

• Research conducted for Gary Hamel's book on humanocracy highlights organizations with a human-centric management model, emphasizing the importance of how conversations are structured within these groups.

• It is noted that power can dampen conversation and reduce psychological safety, impacting open dialogue among team members.

Hidden Power Dynamics

• Even in flatter organizations, power dynamics exist but may be less visible; this can lead to more dangerous consequences if not acknowledged.

• Dominant personalities often overshadow others in meetings, which underscores the need for awareness around informal power structures that can emerge without formal titles.

Creating Safe Spaces for Dialogue

• Flattening organizational hierarchies necessitates increased management training to foster an environment where everyone feels safe to contribute.

• Individuals may not recognize their own influence or the subtle ways they dominate discussions; vigilance is required to ensure equitable participation.

Understanding Informal vs. Egalitarian Structures

• There is a common misconception that informal settings are inherently egalitarian; however, speaking time and engagement often reflect underlying power imbalances related to social identity and seniority.

• Recognizing one's own privilege and power is crucial for fostering inclusivity; leaders must actively work against blind spots regarding their influence.

Leading with Curiosity and Fear

• The speaker argues against the notion of detoxifying or relinquishing power; instead, individuals should embrace their roles while being curious about others' perspectives.

• Curiosity should drive leaders to seek out diverse opinions rather than simply empowering others superficially, which can come off as patronizing.

Balancing Curiosity with Awareness

• Leaders should maintain a balance between curiosity and fear—fear of missing critical insights from quieter voices within the organization.

Understanding Advocacy and Inquiry in Arguments

The Importance of Twinning Arguments with Curiosity

• When making an argument, it's essential to pair it with curiosity or inquiry. This approach acknowledges the possibility of missing information.

• Acknowledging that one might be missing something fosters a sense of vulnerability and openness to other perspectives.

Group Dynamics and Power in Discussions

• Research indicates that groups often default to the most dominant speaker, which can stifle innovation and creativity.

• Even if you have an argument ready, allowing space for others to contribute is crucial; this does not diminish your power but encourages broader participation.

Navigating Power Dynamics in Conversations

• Individuals with lower rank may hesitate to share their opinions due to self-consciousness, highlighting the need for inclusive dialogue.

• Those in positions of formal power must be aware of how their status can lead them to overlook valuable insights from others.

Responsibilities Across Different Ranks

• Both high-ranking individuals and those with lower rank have responsibilities in conversations; everyone should feel empowered to contribute.

• It's vital for individuals at any level to recognize that they are being paid for their opinions and insights, emphasizing the importance of speaking up.

Embracing Diverse Communication Styles

• Recognizing that not everyone is comfortable speaking up is important; alternative methods like written contributions can facilitate engagement.

Invitation to Conversation and the Role of Power

The Importance of Invitations in Conversations

• The speaker emphasizes that engaging with introverts can provide unique insights, highlighting the importance of diverse inputs in conversations.

• A central theme discussed is the nature of invitations made by individuals for conversation, prompting self-reflection on where one may not be inviting dialogue.

Power Dynamics in Communication

• The speaker reflects on using personal power as a shield against unwanted interactions, suggesting that physical demeanor conveys levels of invitation.

• There’s a focus on how emotional states influence one's ability to invite conversation; feeling weak or anxious can lead to poor use of power.

Managing Emotional States

• Research indicates that negative emotions coupled with high-power roles often result in defensive behavior, impacting communication negatively.

• Awareness of emotional states is crucial; leaders must manage their feelings to prevent them from affecting workplace atmosphere and invitations for dialogue.

Crafting Effective Invitations

• Understanding what one is asking for when seeking feedback is essential; it’s not enough to simply state an open-door policy.

• The discomfort experienced by others when asked for feedback should be acknowledged and mitigated to encourage open communication.

Navigating Difficult Conversations

• Difficult conversations often arise from power imbalances; both parties may feel apprehensive about speaking up due to fear of repercussions.

• An example from a diversity inclusion agenda illustrates how organizations struggle with these conversations, leading to stagnation without proper facilitation.

Creating Safe Spaces for Dialogue

• To foster meaningful discussions, organizations must create environments where stigmas are addressed and individuals feel safe expressing their thoughts.

Understanding Power Dynamics in Leadership

The Challenge of Honest Conversations

• The speaker highlights the difficulty of having honest conversations about power dynamics, emphasizing the need to explore this topic collaboratively.

• Acknowledgment is made regarding the challenges faced by leaders, with a call for transparency about these difficulties being refreshing and necessary.

Fear in High Power Roles

• Discussion centers on the interplay between low power feelings and high power roles, suggesting that even those in leadership positions experience fear and anxiety.

• Despite their authority, leaders may feel afraid to speak up due to fears of judgment or loss of status, illustrating a human aspect to leadership challenges.

Addressing Real Fears

• It’s important to recognize and make space for real fears within conversations about change; equating power solely with privilege can hinder progress.

• The distinction between feeling low power despite holding a high position is crucial for understanding interpersonal dynamics in organizations.

Understanding Undiscussables

• The concept of "undiscussables" is introduced—topics that are difficult or impossible to address within organizations due to fear of repercussions.

• An example from a meeting illustrates how existential issues can become undiscussable topics that provoke defensiveness among leaders.

Navigating Difficult Conversations

• The conversation shifts towards strategies for addressing undiscussables, highlighting the need for systems to protect their identities while also fostering open dialogue.

Discussion on Navigating Difficult Conversations

The Importance of Framing Conversations

• Initiating difficult discussions requires careful framing to avoid defensive reactions. Preparation and notice are essential for participants to feel ready.

• Acknowledging the difficulty of the conversation helps create a safe space, allowing individuals to express their feelings about the topic at hand.

Preparing Participants for Undiscussables

• Encouraging everyone to identify their top three undiscussables fosters inclusivity and prevents the speaker from imposing their views.

• Providing preparation materials and questions allows participants to reflect before engaging in tough conversations, akin to marinating meat before grilling.

Building Common Ground Through Data

• Sharing research and insights can help establish common ground, making it easier for diverse perspectives to come together in problem-solving.

• Presenting data depersonalizes issues, shifting focus from individual blame to systemic patterns that contribute to inequity.

Recognizing Systemic Inequities

• Emphasizing pattern awareness helps identify how designs within organizations may perpetuate inequitable outcomes without conscious intent.

• Understanding promotion processes and network dependencies is crucial in addressing why certain demographics are underrepresented in leadership roles.

Strategies for Effective Communication

• When entering meetings with formal power, leaders should prioritize curiosity over authority, asking themselves what information they might be missing.

Insights on Leadership and Human Interaction

Key Takeaways from the Discussion

• The speaker reflects on the surprising fact that even flat organizations experience power struggles, highlighting a common challenge in leadership dynamics.

• A significant takeaway is the idea of leading with curiosity, which prompts self-reflection and encourages deeper engagement in conversations.

• The suggestion to not initiate conversations or speak up first is noted as a valuable strategy for fostering better dialogue and understanding among team members.

• Judy emphasizes the difficulty of having meaningful conversations, reminding participants of the shared human experience and the prevalent fear that can hinder progress.