5 conversation skills that enhance your rational brain | Irshad Manji

5 conversation skills that enhance your rational brain | Irshad Manji

¿Cómo transformar conversaciones difíciles en diálogos constructivos?

La diversidad como hecho de la vida

  • La diversidad no es un constructo humano, sino un hecho de la vida. La pregunta es si la utilizaremos para dividir a la sociedad o para unirla.
  • Todos los seres humanos nacemos con un cerebro que escanea amenazas constantemente, lo que nos hace sentir estrés y defensividad ante puntos de vista diferentes.

Etiquetas y evolución humana

  • En el espectro ideológico actual, las etiquetas limitan el diálogo: "Eres demócrata, no tengo nada más que decirte" o "Eres republicano, eres malvado". Esto refleja una falta de comprensión sobre nuestra naturaleza cambiante.
  • Es crucial reconocer nuestra humanidad en lugar de explotarla para resolver problemas sociales.

Habilidades para reducir defensas emocionales

  • Irshad Manji presenta cinco habilidades simples para convertir temas conflictivos en conversaciones constructivas. Estas habilidades son esenciales para fomentar acciones conjuntas.

Habilidad 1: Respirar profundamente

  • Respirar profundamente ayuda a cambiar del estado emocional al cognitivo, permitiendo una mejor coexistencia entre emoción y razón durante situaciones estresantes.

Habilidad 2: Crear terreno común proactivamente

  • En lugar de esperar encontrar puntos en común por casualidad, se debe intentar crear ese terreno desde el inicio del diálogo reconociendo las diferencias pero también la complejidad del otro.

Habilidad 3: Preguntar sinceramente antes de expresar tu opinión

  • Ser un líder implica preguntar primero qué se está perdiendo en la perspectiva del otro; esto establece credibilidad y fomenta un ambiente de aprendizaje mutuo.

Habilidad 4: Escuchar activamente

  • Existen dos formas de escuchar: escuchar para ganar (enfocándose en debilitar argumentos ajenos) o escuchar para aprender (abierto a cambiar tu propia perspectiva). Esta última forma es esencial para construir entendimiento genuino.

Habilidad 5: Formular preguntas adicionales

  • Comenzar con "Cuéntame más" puede abrir puertas a diálogos significativos y desarmar tensiones preexistentes, como se ejemplifica en una interacción entre un oficial de policía y una activista durante una reunión tensa sobre la falta de vivienda.

Ejemplo práctico y conclusión

Playlists: Conflict scenes
Video description

Here’s how to end an angry conflict in 8 minutes, with @IrshadManjiTV. Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvQECJukTDE2i6aCoMnS-Vg?sub_confirmation=1 Up next, Harvard negotiator explains how to argue ►https://youtu.be/IDj1OBG5Tpw Educator Irshad Manji emphasizes that diversity is a fact of life, and it should be harnessed to unite society rather than divide it. Recognizing that humans tend to react defensively to opposing views, she offers five key skills to promote constructive conversations. These include 1) taking deep breaths to facilitate rational thinking, 2) intentionally establishing common ground, 3) genuinely inquiring about the other person's perspective, 4) actively listening to learn rather than to win, and 5) encouraging further dialogue by asking "Tell me more." Adopting these skills can lead to healthier outcomes in contentious conversations and foster collaboration. Ultimately, an individual's ability to engage in productive discussions depends on their motivation. It is essential to reflect on one's intentions, choosing between a genuine desire to solve problems or a need to assert moral superiority. Only by making the right choice can we hope to harness the power of diversity for the greater good. 0:00 Our defensive brains 1:52 How ‘slam dunking’ backfires 3:05 The 5-part toolkit 3:27 Skill #1: Breathe deeply (give your brain oxygen) 4:06 Skill #2: Create common ground 4:40 Skill #3: Ask a sincere question 5:16 Skill #4: Listen to learn 6:15 Skill #5: “Tell me more” 7:31 The most uncomfortable question ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Irshad Manji: In Arabic, Irshad means “guidance.” My mission: to teach a critical mass of people the skills of moral courage — doing the right thing in the face of our fears. This mission has been a life-long journey. Growing up in a violent household, I made a commitment to use my education for good. That meant thinking for myself. At my Islamic school, I challenged dogma and got expelled at age 14. Later, studying Islam on my own, I made a truly surprising discovery: It’s possible to reconcile faith with freedom. That discovery led me to write two internationally best-selling books about reforming Islam. I recently launched my latest book, Don’t Label Me, about how to heal the Us-versus-Them divisions that are ripping apart America and much of the world. In all that I am and all that I do, I stand for the responsibility to ask questions — and the right to do so, free from fear. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Read more of our stories on conflict: 4 ways to identify high-conflict people before it’s too late ► https://bigthink.com/the-learning-curve/4-ways-identify-high-conflict-people/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description 5 Sun Tzu quotes to help you overcome conflict ► https://bigthink.com/the-learning-curve/sun-tzu-quotes/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description Humans are not “tribal” ► https://bigthink.com/the-well/tribalism-humans-not-tribal/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Big Think | Smarter Faster™ ► Big Think Our mission is to make you smarter, faster. Watch interviews with the world’s biggest thinkers on science, philosophy, business, and more. ► Big Think+ Looking to ignite a learning culture at your company? Prepare your workforce for the future with educational courses from the world’s biggest thinkers. Trusted by Ford, Marriot, Bank of America, and many more. Learn how Big Think+ can empower your people today: https://bigthink.com/plus/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Want more Big Think? ► Daily editorial features: https://bigthink.com/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ► Get the best of Big Think right to your inbox: https://bigthink.com/subscribe/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ► Facebook: https://bigth.ink/facebook/ ► Instagram: https://bigth.ink/Instagram/ ► Twitter: https://bigth.ink/twitter/