We Have To Stop Lying To Women About This

Can Women Have It All?

In this video, the speaker discusses whether women can have a successful career and family life. She explores the societal expectations placed on women to achieve both and how this ideal has changed over time.

The Changing Ideal of Success

• The current Western culture ideal for women is to have a successful career and family life.

• This expectation is relatively new and has not been held for a long time.

• Women who choose to prioritize their careers are often asked about their family life, while those who choose to be stay-at-home mothers are criticized for not having a career.

Historical Context

• During the Victorian era, marriage and children were seen as the pinnacle of success for women.

• Working-class women have always worked, but middle-class and upper-class women were unable to work without risking their status in society.

• Feminism arose from the desire for women to freely work without social stigma or judgment.

Feminism's Impact on Society

• Feminists believe that we live in a patriarchal society where men hold power positions within society and use this power to oppress women.

• Radical feminists argue that family is a key part of upholding this patriarchal system by placing too much importance on wives and marriage.

Conclusion

• The speaker believes that the current ideal of success for women is a result of the Victorian era's ideals clashing with feminist ideals.

Motherhood and Career

The speaker discusses how mothers are undervalued in society and motherhood is not a good career option. She also talks about the idea of living in Merry local households, where only women live.

Women's Role in Society

• Mothers are undervalued within society.

• Motherhood is not a good career option for women.

• Greer has been criticized for making generalizations without providing enough evidence to back them up.

• Grayer's views help us understand why some women choose to abandon family life altogether.

Living in Merry Local Households

• Women are better suited to live in Merry local households, which is basically a household where it's just only women inside of it.

• There should be multi-generational households so that they could all pass wisdom on to each other.

Balancing Career and Family Life

The speaker discusses whether it is realistic for women to balance both their careers and family life. She also talks about the painful secret among many successful women who are childless by non-choice.

Balancing Career and Family Life

• Many successful women are childless by non-choice because they were focused on their career, and time passed them by.

• It may not be realistic for women to balance both their careers and family life.

Fertility Window

• Women's window to have a baby naturally is shorter than men's.

• Up to 90% of eggs can be gone by age 30, with fertility declining gradually from age 25 and nosediving by age 35.

• Women should be aware of their fertility window, as relying on fertility treatments can be costly and unreliable.

Fertility Treatments

• There has been a rise in women choosing to freeze their eggs in recent times.

• Women should have an honest discussion about the reliability and cost of fertility treatments.

Overview of Fertility Treatment and Egg Freezing

This section discusses the success rates, costs, and limitations of fertility treatment and egg freezing.

Success Rates and Costs

• The success rate for frozen egg treatment is 18% for women using their own eggs.

• Using a donor egg increases the success rate to 30% due to stricter requirements for donors.

• Women must freeze their eggs before age 35 for a higher chance of success.

• The cost of collecting eggs can be up to £4,000 with medication costing an additional £500 to £1.5k.

• Storage fees range from £125 to £350 per year with a limit of 10 years under UK law.

• In the US, costs range from $6,000 to $20,000 with no information on limits for storage time.

• Overall, the procedure can cost up to around £8,000 or $20,000 with an 18% success rate.

Dating as a Career Woman

This section discusses the differences in dating experiences between successful men and women.

Survey Results

• Successful men don't have as many trade-offs when it comes to having a career and being a father compared to women who carry babies and take maternity leave.

• Of those surveyed by Sylvia Ann Hewlett (who spoke with people within the top 10% of earners), 79% of men wanted children while only 50% of women were childless.

• High achieving women struggled more in getting married with only 57-60% being married compared to 83% of high achieving men.

• Men tend to want to marry or date someone who earns the same amount as them or more, while women don't care about how much their partner earns.

Balancing Motherhood and Career in Influencer Industry

This video discusses the struggles of being a mother while having a career as an influencer. The speaker provides three examples of influencers who have openly spoken about their experiences with balancing motherhood and their careers.

Patricia Bright's Experience

• Patricia Bright is a British beauty influencer who has openly discussed the challenges of being a working mother.

• She is often criticized on Instagram for not being present enough in her children's lives due to her job requiring her to travel frequently.

• Despite missing birthdays, she has been honest about the realities of being a working mother and having a husband who is also involved in parenting.

Hannah Oberg's Experience

• Hannah Oberg, another influencer, expressed her struggles with balancing being a fitness influencer, business owner, and new mother.

• Being an influencer requires constant work without much time for rest or family time.

• She feels guilty for not spending enough time with her child but loves her job.

Presenter's Experience

• A presenter shared how she wanted to take a backseat from her career because she felt like she wasn't present enough for her family.

• She left the network to spend more time with them after realizing that she hadn't seen her parents in over a year.

• The work they do is important but it came down to choosing between work and family.

The Prevalence of Mom Guilt

In this section, the speaker discusses the prevalence of mom guilt and why it may be more common among women than men.

Mom Guilt is Prevalent

• Mom guilt is a common feeling among mothers.

• This feeling may be largely biological, as female mammals are typically the primary caregivers for their young.

• Female mammals are also more fiercely protective over their young than males.

Working Mothers Face Unique Challenges

• Being a successful career woman while also having a great balance with family life is difficult.

• Women must accept that they cannot be perfect at both work and parenting.

• Many Western countries lack family-friendly policies that would allow working mothers to spend more time with their children.

Hungary's Family-Friendly Policies

• Hungary has implemented family-friendly policies such as tax reductions for mothers with children and complete tax exemption for mothers with four or more children.

• These policies aim to encourage women to have children earlier in life by reducing financial barriers.

Advice for Women Pursuing Careers and Family

In this section, the speaker provides advice for women who want to pursue both a career and a family. She emphasizes the importance of being strategic and intentional in decision-making.

Finding a Partner Early

• The speaker advises women to find a partner early, while still in their early 20s, so that they can build their relationship and career simultaneously.

• This way, if they decide to have children later on, they already have a partner to start a family with.

Pursuing Career After Marriage and Children

• Another option is for women to get married and have children earlier in life, then pursue their career later on.

• The speaker sees nothing wrong with this approach since there is no limit on when one can start a career.

Being Strategic in Decision-Making

• The speaker stresses the importance of being calculated and intentional in decision-making.

• Women should think about where they want to be in the future, including middle age or elderly years. They should date with intention and move accordingly to what they want for themselves.

Having Choices as Women

• The speaker believes it's beautiful that women have choices whether they want to be housewives or working women or pursue both.

• However, she emphasizes that it's important not to leave things up to chance because it might not happen if one doesn't actively try to make it happen.

Conclusion

• The speaker invites viewers to share their experiences balancing careers and family life.

• She thanks viewers for their time and invites them to like, subscribe, and check out her music.