How Everyday Interactions Shape Your Future | Mesmin Destin | TED

How Everyday Interactions Shape Your Future | Mesmin Destin | TED

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The speaker reflects on a pivotal moment in their life when they shared their ambitious plans with a guidance counselor, who responded with skepticism about the feasibility of those plans due to financial constraints.

Reflection on Ambitious Plans

  • The guidance counselor expressed doubts about the speaker's aspirations due to financial concerns and low acceptance rates at prestigious universities.
  • Despite the counselor's discouraging response, the speaker persisted with their plans and pursued graduate studies in psychology.
  • The speaker highlights how individuals are often constrained by external influences that limit their potential for growth and self-realization.

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The speaker discusses the impact of messages that either expand or restrict individuals' identities, emphasizing the importance of fostering a sense of possibility to enable personal growth.

Influence of Messages on Identity

  • Messages that open up possibilities can empower individuals to envision broader futures and reach their full potential.
  • Identity comprises current perceptions of self (social identity) and future aspirations (future identity), both influenced by external factors and messages received.
  • Using an example of an 11-year-old named Reggie, the speaker illustrates how messages can shape one's perception of future possibilities based on socioeconomic barriers.

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The speaker delves into research experiments focusing on how messages impact children's perceptions of future opportunities, particularly in relation to educational attainment and career goals.

Impact of Messages on Children's Aspirations

  • Experiments demonstrate that messages highlighting financial aid opportunities significantly increase children's likelihood of considering higher education as a viable path.

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The section discusses the impact of messages related to one's identities on self-esteem and persistence towards goals.

Impact of Identity Messages

  • Getting a message about having specific strengths due to one's identity boosts self-esteem and motivation.
  • Connecting one's identity to strengths leads to increased self-esteem and persistence in challenging tasks.
  • Specific messages about identity result in increased inspiration and persistence, leading to improved grades over time.

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This section explores the influence of identity reinforcement on academic success and goal attainment.

Influence on Academic Success

  • Positive messages about identities help Reggie persist in school, leading to high grades and goal achievement.
  • Recognition of identities in a new college environment motivates Reggie to succeed academically.
  • Validation of identities by peers enhances Reggie's engagement in college activities, resulting in improved grades compared to peers from wealthier backgrounds.

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The discussion shifts towards the toll persistent striving takes on individuals like Reggie.

Toll of Persistent Striving

  • Overcoming barriers due to social position leads to stress and physical health issues for individuals like Reggie.
  • Experiences of prejudice and discrimination contribute to increased inflammation levels, impacting long-term health outcomes negatively.

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In this section, the importance of social connections and relationships for physical health is discussed, emphasizing how cultivating deep bonds with others can lead to positive outcomes.

Cultivating Social Connections

  • Establishing new friendships or joining communities/organizations can help individuals form meaningful bonds.
  • Maintaining connections with family, friends, and culture contributes to overall well-being.
  • Encouraging focus on relationships alongside goals leads to decreased inflammation and improved health outcomes.

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The speaker reflects on personal experiences related to the impact of social support and connections on individual paths and achievements.

Personal Reflections

  • Contrasting life paths between an imaginary character and the speaker's brother highlight the significance of supportive environments.
  • Despite lacking formal messages promoting identity building, the speaker's brother found joy and success through community support.
  • Contemplation on how educational systems could better nurture individual potential by fostering identities and opportunities for success.

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The discussion shifts towards advocating for systemic changes in education to promote positive messages that empower individuals.

Advocating Systemic Changes

  • Proposing embedding messages of identity-building and opportunity within educational curricula across various subjects.
  • Emphasizing the need for policies supporting financial resources to ensure equal access to opportunities for all students.

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The importance of individual actions in reinforcing positive messages of empowerment is highlighted.

Individual Empowerment

  • Acknowledging individual roles as parents, coworkers, leaders, or friends in guiding others towards their envisioned lives.
  • Encouraging individuals to show support by recognizing others' potential paths and aspirations.
Channel: TED
Video description

A few words can change the course of a life; they have the power to shrink, expand or transform someone's identity -- even your own. Social psychologist Mesmin Destin explores how everyday interactions and experiences play a powerful part in who we become, sharing the key moments and messages that can inspire us to grow into our best selves. If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: https://ted.com/membership Follow TED! Twitter: https://twitter.com/TEDTalks Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ted Facebook: https://facebook.com/TED LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferences TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit https://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Watch more: https://go.ted.com/mesmindestin https://youtu.be/RLESBHduKBs TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com #TED #TEDTalks #future