How to Find Creativity and Purpose in the Face of Adversity | Suleika Jaouad | TED

Introduction to "American Symphony"

Overview of the Documentary

• Susan Zimmerman welcomes Suleika Jaouad and expresses gratitude for her story shared in the documentary "American Symphony."

• Suleika introduces Matt Heineman, the director, emphasizing his belief that projects evolve through listening during the creative process.

Evolution of the Project

• The initial concept was to follow Jon as he composed a modern symphony, incorporating diverse musicians across genres.

• Shortly after filming began, Suleika faced a leukemia relapse while Jon received multiple Grammy nominations, shifting the film's focus.

Creative Control and Collaboration

Navigating Vulnerability in Filmmaking

• Suleika discusses the challenges of maintaining creative control while collaborating with Matt Heineman during personal hardships.

• Trust and ongoing communication were crucial; they had daily discussions about comfort levels regarding what was filmed.

Creativity Amidst Adversity

Insights on Creative Growth During Challenges

• Suleika reflects on how moments of crisis can lead to personal and creative growth despite initial feelings of fear and defeat.

• She describes her experience with grief stages upon learning about her illness but emphasizes curiosity emerging from solitude.

Embracing Isolation for Creativity

Creative Expression in Adversity

Embracing Art as a Form of Healing

• The speaker discusses the initial frustration with writing during their illness, leading to a shift towards painting as a therapeutic outlet. They transformed their hospital bedside into an art space, using watercolors to express their nightmares and fever dreams without any expectations.

• Watercolor is highlighted for its unpredictability, symbolizing the lack of control in the speaker's life due to illness. This medium becomes a metaphor for survival being a creative act amidst chaos.

Finding New Ways to Communicate

• The speaker reflects on the challenges of communication when physical pain limits speech. They emphasize the need for imaginative travel and surrendering to new forms of expression during prolonged confinement.

• Limitations are framed not as obstacles but as catalysts for creativity. The speaker finds purpose in pain, aiming to transform it into something meaningful and beautiful.

The Birth of "Life, Interrupted"

• At 22 years old, after being diagnosed with leukemia, the speaker lost many aspects of independence and normalcy. This transitional age brought feelings of in-betweenness that persisted throughout treatment.

• A difficult first year included significant isolation in the hospital where initial plans (like reading classic literature) were thwarted by harsh realities of treatment and emotional turmoil.

Creative Acts Amidst Illness

• After realizing treatments weren't effective, a friend suggested a 100-day creative project. The speaker committed to daily journaling despite unpredictable energy levels, allowing them to reconnect with writing.

• Journaling became an essential tool for processing complex emotions related to illness—guilt about being a burden, navigating healthcare systems, and personal relationships during this challenging time.

Reporting from the Front Lines

• Through journaling, the speaker discovered they could report on their own experiences akin to journalism—documenting life within the confines of illness rather than traveling abroad.

Writing from the Trenches of Uncertainty

The Journey to Writing a Column

• The speaker shares their experience of writing daily and connecting with Tara Parker-Pope at The New York Times, leading to an invitation to contribute.

• Initially hesitant, the speaker expressed a desire to write a weekly column instead of an essay, emphasizing the need for authentic narratives from those experiencing illness firsthand.

• This column titled "Life, Interrupted" sparked significant reader engagement and led to a transformative road trip across the U.S. to connect with readers during their hospital stay.

Life After Cancer Treatment

• After four years in cancer treatment, the speaker reflects on feeling unprepared for life post-recovery despite receiving an all-clear from doctors.

• They describe the emotional struggle of not being able to return to their pre-diagnosis self and grappling with identity after surviving cancer.

• Acknowledging that survival is different from truly living, they express a desire for a meaningful life beyond just enduring hardships.

Creating a Path Forward

• The speaker realizes that painful past experiences cannot be compartmentalized; instead, one must learn how to move forward while carrying those imprints.

• They took time for personal healing and faced fears about re-entering society after treatment by learning new skills like driving.

• Inspired by letters from readers sharing their recovery journeys, they embarked on a 100-day solo road trip with their dog Oscar.

Conceptualizing "Between Two Kingdoms"

• The book title references Susan Sontag's essay "Illness as Metaphor," exploring dual citizenship in both sickness and wellness.

• It highlights the liminal space between these states where individuals may feel neither fully sick nor well—an exploration of existing in this 'messy middle.'

The Isolation Journals: A Response to COVID

Inspiration Behind the Project

• Launched during early lockdown in April 2020, the project aimed to address feelings of isolation that resonated deeply with the speaker's past experiences during illness.

The Isolation Journals: A Community of Vulnerability

The Concept and Impact of "The Isolation Journals"

• "The Isolation Journals" is a free newsletter inviting community members to participate in a 100-day journaling project with daily essays from various contributors, including artists and writers.

• Over 40,000 people signed up within 48 hours, showcasing the power of sharing vulnerable stories and creating a supportive community. The newsletter now has over 150,000 members.

• Participants interpret journaling in diverse ways—some use prompts for conversation or thought stimulation, while others express themselves through painting or dance.

Embracing Feelings and Discomfort

• A question highlights society's tendency to avoid feelings; the speaker emphasizes the importance of feeling everything rather than developing a thick skin.

• Engaging with discomfort can lead to personal growth. The speaker acknowledges that it’s challenging but essential to confront fears directly instead of numbing them.

• Life is not binary; one must learn to hold both beautiful and painful experiences simultaneously as part of living fully.

Relationships During Illness

• Cancer's most surprising toll is on relationships. The speaker reflects on isolation during their first diagnosis and the unexpected support received from others.

• Building a community over time proved invaluable when facing illness again. The speaker stresses the need for a supportive network during difficult times.

Creative Connections Amidst Challenges

• When faced with recurrence, maintaining connection with loved ones became crucial. Creative solutions were sought to bridge physical distance.

Getting Started with Journaling

Overcoming the Blank Page

• Joey asks for advice on starting journaling, especially when feeling overwhelmed by a blank page. SJ shares that even as a lifelong journaler, she experiences moments of being daunted by it.

• The concept of "The Isolation Journals" was created to help people find prompts and inspiration when they feel stuck. It offers an archive of essays and challenges to encourage journaling.

• SJ suggests writing with the non-dominant hand as a way to break through writer's block, using a prompt from poet Marie Howe: "I don't want to write about ...". This technique helps in expressing thoughts freely.

• Another effective prompt is “just 10 images” from Ash Parsons, where one lists ten snapshots from the last day. This encourages mindfulness and noticing details in daily life.

• Journaling is described as having a low barrier to entry; it doesn't require beautiful writing or grammatical correctness. It's an expansive form that can be personalized according to individual needs.

Creativity and Finding Purpose

• York asks about using creativity during struggles with purpose. SJ references Liz Gilbert’s idea of being "one percent more curious than afraid" when facing creative projects.

• Curiosity is presented as a gentler approach to creativity, allowing exploration without pressure or expectations regarding outcomes. This mindset fosters genuine artistic expression.

• SJ reflects on her proudest work emerging from projects started without expectations, emphasizing playfulness in creation—like her 100-day project and spontaneous paintings during hospital stays.

• She highlights the importance of creating for joy rather than judgment, encouraging others to tap into their child-like curiosity in their creative processes.