Do These 6 Things to Become Securely Attached in 90 Days! | Integrated Attachment Theory
Becoming Securely Attached Within 90 Days
In this video, the speaker shares information on how to become securely attached within 90 days based on surveys and polls conducted by the Personal Development School. The speaker differentiates between traditional attachment theory and Gibson integrated attachment theory, which is a body of work that identifies six major components needed to rewire these components and become securely attached in the shortest period of time possible.
Traditional Attachment Theory vs. Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory
- Traditional attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth to understand how children attach to their parents.
- The Strange Situation experiment was used to identify four major attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized/fearful avoidant.
- Gibson integrated attachment theory identified six major categories for individuals to rewire in order to become securely attached in the shortest period of time possible.
Six Major Components Needed for Secure Attachment
- Core wounds
- Rewiring old core wounds is necessary for healing relationships and becoming healed from past experiences.
- Needs
- Learning one's needs is important for emotional regulation and healthy communication.
- Emotional regulation
- Learning emotional regulation helps individuals manage their emotions effectively.
- Healthy boundaries
- Developing healthy boundaries helps individuals maintain healthy relationships with others.
- Communication skills
- Learning effective communication skills helps individuals express their needs more clearly.
- Updating old coping mechanisms or behaviors
- Replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms or behaviors with healthier ones helps individuals maintain healthy relationships.
Conclusion
The speaker shares information on how to become securely attached within 90 days based on surveys and polls conducted by the Personal Development School. The speaker differentiates between traditional attachment theory and Gibson integrated attachment theory, which is a body of work that identifies six major components needed to rewire these components and become securely attached in the shortest period of time possible. Rewiring old core wounds, learning one's needs, emotional regulation, developing healthy boundaries, learning effective communication skills, and replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms or behaviors are all necessary for becoming securely attached.
Understanding Core Wounds and Attachment Styles
In this section, the speaker discusses how anxious preoccupied individuals have specific core wounds at a subconscious level. She also explains that each attachment style has a specific relationship to needs and emotional patterns.
Core Wounds of Anxious Preoccupied Individuals
- Anxious preoccupied individuals have very individual and specific core wounds at a subconscious level.
- The most common core wounds include fear of abandonment, being alone forever, rejection, not being good enough, feeling unsafe without connection or attachment.
- These core wounds deeply affect anxious preoccupied individuals.
Attachment Styles and Emotional Patterns
- Each attachment style has specific emotional patterns.
- Anxious preoccupied individuals tend to feel anxious, sad, afraid, worried, panicked and lonely.
- Dismissive avoidance individuals tend to feel irritable, frustrated, numb and disconnected.
Becoming Securely Attached Within 90 Days
In this section, the speaker outlines the steps required to become securely attached within 90 days. She explains that it requires commitment and going through six major courses designed to heal six major components.
Six Major Components for Becoming Securely Attached
- To become securely attached within 90 days requires commitment to go through six major courses.
- The six major components are core wounds, needs, emotional regulation, boundaries communication patterns and behavioral patterns.
- Emotional Mastery course helps identify core wounds while Needs course helps learn personal needs fulfillment.
- Somatic processing course tackles emotional regulation from an integrated attachment theory point of view.
- Boundaries course helps learn about boundaries while Communication course teaches healthy conflict resolution skills.
- Overcoming self-sabotage and procrastination course deals with behaviors and relationships.
Commitment Required
- Becoming securely attached within 90 days requires a commitment of four hours per week.
- The emotional Mastery course, needs course, and the other courses require a total of four hours per week for 90 days.
- The results may vary depending on the individual's attachment trauma.
Courses for Becoming Securely Attached
In this section, the speaker provides more details about each of the six major courses required to become securely attached. She also mentions that they target these things at the subconscious level.
Emotional Mastery Course
- Emotional Mastery course helps identify core wounds specific to each attachment style.
- It is designed to help individuals do reprogramming work on their core wounds.
Needs Course
- Needs course helps learn personal needs fulfillment.
- It teaches how to meet one's needs in relationship to self before getting them met in external relationships.
Somatic Processing Course
- Somatic processing course tackles emotional regulation from an integrated attachment theory point of view.
- It focuses on nervous system regulation and targets emotional regulation at the subconscious level.
Boundaries Course
- Boundaries course helps learn about boundaries while reconditioning one's relationship with them.
- It targets boundaries at the subconscious level.
Communication Course
- Communication course teaches healthy conflict resolution skills.
- It focuses on communicating through conflict in a healthier way.
Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Procrastination Course
- Overcoming self-sabotage and procrastination course deals with behaviors and relationships.
- It helps individuals understand why they may sabotage things and prioritize safety over healthier approaches.
Attachment Theory and Healing
In this section, the speaker discusses how attachment theory can be used to recondition old core wounds and regulate emotions. They also introduce the six major facets of life that can help individuals become securely attached.
Six Major Facets of Life
- The six major facets of life are core wounds, needs, emotions, boundaries, communication patterns, and breaking down painful patterns of behavior or self-sabotage.
- Each course is approximately an hour long with tools to apply such as exercises to do each day for 15 minutes in the morning and evening.
- By completing these courses and applying the tools provided, individuals can leave their relationship problems behind.
- The vast majority of individuals who completed this work reported being dominantly securely attached within a 90-day period.
Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory
- The speaker introduces Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory which is a copyrighted body of work that delves into specific components of attachment theory.
- This theory provides guidance on how to become secure by tackling specific things.