I Moved To Russia And It’s A Total Nightmare

Experiencing Culture Shock in Moscow

Initial Impressions of Moscow

• The speaker, a British expatriate, shares his challenging experiences since moving to Moscow, describing it as a "total nightmare."

• He begins his walk around Red Square, highlighting the iconic St. Basil's Cathedral and the illuminated GUM shopping center.

Tax System Discrepancies

• Upon arrival, he discovers that the tax rate in Russia is 13%, significantly lower than what he paid in the UK.

• While this results in an £8,000 increase in take-home pay annually, he expresses concern about where that money goes—specifically not funding social issues like climate change or gender research.

• The speaker reflects on how having extra disposable income leads to spending on personal enjoyment rather than contributing to societal welfare.

Public Transport Experience

• Arriving at TRA Metro Station, he acknowledges the metro system's efficiency but notes a significant drawback during rush hour: trains come every 90 seconds.

• He humorously laments that this rapid service doesn't allow him enough time for personal activities like updating his LinkedIn profile or engaging with social media controversies.

Nightlife and Safety Concerns

• As they move through Patnitkaya Street—a nightlife area—he mentions missing the heightened sense of alertness typical of nights out in the UK.

Healthcare System Comparison

• The speaker contrasts Russian healthcare with that of the UK; he prefers the UK's method where appointments are harder to secure but feels more engaging due to its complexity.

• In Russia, getting a same-day appointment is straightforward but lacks excitement compared to navigating the UK's convoluted system.

Observations on Character and Atmosphere

• At Treachovskaya station, he comments on how sterile and clean it feels compared to what he'd expect from urban life—missing elements like characters or lively disturbances.

• He humorously suggests that adding some chaotic elements (like loud music from teenagers or street performers) would enhance the atmosphere.

Exploring Moscow's Metro: A Satirical Take

Observations on the Metro Experience

• The speaker notes a calm atmosphere in the metro, suggesting that a bit of gangster rap could enhance the mood as they arrive at Kushkaya Metro and head towards Voron Sovska, highlighting a perceived lack of character in the stations.

• The speaker expresses dissatisfaction with the rapid construction of new metro stations, mentioning that hundreds have been built recently. They argue this leads to confusion for users navigating the system.

• A comparison is made to Glasgow's subway system, which has maintained only 15 stations since 1896. The speaker praises this consistency and stability as preferable to frequent new station openings.

Quickfire Complaints from Various Stations

• At Nevada Sky Metro, the speaker complains about low utility costs controlled by the government, leading to excessively high heating in their apartment. This contrasts with their experiences in the UK where heating was more expensive and required layering up for warmth.

• Upon reaching Prospect Verdans, another complaint arises regarding Russia's ban on GMO food products. The speaker humorously suggests they would enjoy experimenting with genetically modified foods if given the chance.

• At University Tech Metro, a light-hearted warning is issued about women being interested in dating foreign men from countries like the UK or US, framing it as an inconvenience amidst other complaints.

Final Thoughts and Clarifications

• Concluding at Vorio Gori Metro Station, the speaker lists various grievances including low taxes, affordable living costs, safety concerns, accessible healthcare, and unwanted romantic attention—emphasizing that these are all satirical observations meant for humor.

• After exiting the metro, they clarify that their intent is not to criticize but rather to provide a humorous counterpoint to extreme views about Russia while acknowledging faults within their home country (the UK).

• The speaker reiterates their affection for the UK and its people who can appreciate humor and self-reflection through satire.