How to be a Godly Man | Noah Herrin

Celebrating Masculinity and Godly Manhood

Personal Anecdote: A Celebration at Texas Roadhouse

• The speaker shares a personal story about celebrating events in their church and life by visiting Texas Roadhouse, emphasizing the joy of the occasion.

• The speaker's son, Lion, insists on wearing his Spider-Man costume to the restaurant, showcasing childlike enthusiasm and creativity.

• Lion's excitement leads to positive interactions with strangers who high-five him, highlighting how children can bring joy through their innocence.

The Contrast Between Boys and Men

• The speaker contrasts reactions to boys versus men acting childishly; while boys are celebrated for it, men face criticism or concern when they do the same.

• There is a societal trend where masculinity is often denigrated while boyish behavior is celebrated. This raises questions about cultural perceptions of manhood.

Cultural Commentary on Masculinity

• The speaker notes that contemporary culture allows for various identities but seems to reject strong masculine figures who uphold Christian values.

• A quote from Camille Paglia suggests that when masculinity is routinely criticized, women may be left with immature partners instead of mature men.

Biblical Guidance for Men

• Reference to 1 Corinthians 16:13 emphasizes the call for men to be vigilant, steadfast in faith, act like men, and exhibit strength as per biblical teachings.

• The speaker argues that true change in families and society requires men to embrace their God-given roles unapologetically.

Series Introduction: "The Birds, the Bees, and the Bible"

• This sermon is part two of a series focused on biblical teachings related to relationships and masculinity aimed primarily at men.

• Encouragement for women present not to undermine men's efforts in applying these teachings but rather support them positively.

Exploring Song of Songs

• Introduction to Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon), noted as one of the more provocative books in the Bible filled with sexual innuendos.

• Context provided about King Solomon singing love songs back-and-forth with a Shulammite woman; this dynamic reflects real-life relationship complexities.

Significance of Song of Songs

• Explanation that "Song of Songs" denotes it as Solomon's greatest song—an important reflection on marriage within biblical literature.

• Emphasis on dating dynamics where one must consider not just their partner but also their friends' opinions—a realistic portrayal found within scripture.

How to Be a Godly Man

The Importance of Family Life

• The speaker emphasizes that the ultimate goal for men of God should be a loving family life, prioritizing love for God and each other above all achievements.

Initiating Intimacy in Marriage

• The discussion begins with Solomon's Song of Songs, highlighting the importance of mutual initiation in intimacy within marriage.

• A healthy marriage features two initiators rather than one person being passive; both partners should actively engage in their relationship.

Character Over Appearance

• The metaphor of oil signifies purity and character; a man of God must possess Christlike character, pursuing holiness and integrity.

• Women are encouraged to prioritize character over physical attraction when choosing a partner; superficial qualities can lead to regret later on.

Reputation Matters

• A good reputation is crucial; red flags include relationships that isolate individuals from friends or family.

• Listening to parental advice about dating choices is important as they often have more experience and wisdom regarding relationships.

Honoring Past Relationships

• How someone speaks about their ex-partners reveals their character; respectful discourse indicates maturity and godliness.

• A strong reputation means others cannot easily believe negative rumors about you due to your established good character.

Understanding Beauty and Insecurity in Relationships

The Contrast of Beauty and Insecurity

• The speaker discusses the perception of beauty, emphasizing that a person with a good reputation is often not believed to have done anything wrong.

• A reference to cultural norms from over 2,000 years ago highlights that pale skin indicated wealth while tanned skin suggested lower social status due to outdoor labor.

• The speaker notes the woman's embarrassment about her tan skin, revealing her insecurities despite being admired by King Solomon.

Attraction vs. Character in Relationships

• The discussion shifts to the importance of a man having eyes only for his wife, illustrating this with a personal anecdote about meeting his future wife, Maddie.

• The speaker addresses misconceptions about pastors and physical attraction, affirming that acknowledging beauty is natural but should not be the sole basis for relationships.

Building Relationships on Character

• He emphasizes that while initial attraction can spark interest, lasting love must be rooted in character and personality rather than mere physical appearance.

• Reflecting on his relationship with Maddie, he shares how he fell in love with her character over time rather than just her looks.

Commitment Beyond Physical Appearance

• The speaker warns against valuing fleeting beauty; true commitment lies in appreciating inner qualities as external appearances change over time.

• He argues that successful marriages are built on deep commitment between partners who serve God together rather than superficial attractions.

Practical Steps for Connection

• Men are encouraged to honor their wives' appearances regardless of changes over time and remain committed without distractions like pornography or emotional affairs.

• The woman expresses her desire to be close to her partner by asking where he will lead his flock today, indicating she wants to arrange her schedule around him.

Understanding Value in Relationships

The Importance of Valuing Your Partner

• Solomon uses a metaphor comparing a woman to a prized mare, emphasizing the importance of valuing one's partner. This reflects cultural practices from Egyptian history where beauty was showcased for Pharaoh.

• The speaker highlights that Jewish people were familiar with Egyptian culture due to their historical context as slaves, which adds depth to the metaphor used by Solomon.

• A man of God is called to express value towards his wife, reinforcing that every woman desires affirmation of her worth in a relationship.

• Unexpressed value is deemed worthless; simply providing material needs does not equate to showing love and appreciation. Men are encouraged to actively communicate their affection.

• The speaker references Proverbs 31:10, stating that an excellent wife holds more value than riches, urging men to prioritize spiritual companionship over material wealth.

Love Languages and Communication

• The concept of love languages is introduced as essential for understanding how partners perceive value. Men often default to physical touch but should learn their spouse's preferred love language.

• Personal anecdotes illustrate the importance of intentional conversations over physical gestures. Engaging in meaningful dialogue can significantly enhance feelings of being valued.

• Practical advice is given on how men can show they care through active listening and engagement during conversations rather than relying solely on romantic advances.

Financial Responsibility in Relationships

• A controversial yet scripturally supported point made is that a man of God should be financially secure, referencing 1 Timothy 5:8 about providing for one’s household.

• The speaker acknowledges modern dynamics where women may also be career-driven ("boss women"), suggesting that financial security does not exclude shared responsibilities or partnerships in marriage.

Understanding the Role of Men as Providers

The Responsibility of Provision

• The speaker emphasizes that being a "boss lady" does not negate the man's role as the head of the household, which includes the responsibility for financial provision.

• A metaphor is used to illustrate that personal achievements (like fantasy football) are irrelevant if basic responsibilities (like paying bills) are neglected; true success involves fulfilling one's duties at home.

Work Ethic and Success

• A mentor's insight highlights that men who do not work hard often harbor resentment towards those who do, instead of striving to improve their own circumstances.

• Four key principles for success in providing for a family are outlined:

• Show up on time.

• Work hard.

• Respect authority.

• Follow through on commitments.

Sexual Purity and Relationship Integrity

• The discussion shifts to sexual purity, stressing that men should not seek to test boundaries but rather establish clear guidelines within relationships.

• Men are encouraged to take responsibility in dating by setting standards for sexual conduct, reinforcing that purity is essential until marriage.

Redemption and Forgiveness

• The speaker reassures those who may have crossed moral lines in their relationships that redemption is possible through faith in Jesus Christ, allowing them to start anew.

• Emphasis is placed on the importance of maintaining sexual purity as part of a man's identity and calling from God.

Identity and Self-Worth

• The speaker addresses feelings of failure among men, asserting that cravings do not define identity; rather, one's identity shapes desires according to biblical teachings.

• A reference to "The Lion King" illustrates how losing sight of one’s true identity can lead to unfulfilling choices; reclaiming one’s purpose is crucial.

Remembering Your Identity as a Man of God

Embracing Your Role

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's identity as a man of God, urging individuals to remember their calling and potential within the Lord's army.

• Acknowledges that true transformation occurs when men submit to Jesus Christ, who is described as "the best man," highlighting the power of faith in personal growth.

• Encourages those who feel they have not lived up to their potential to put their faith in Jesus, emphasizing His ability to renew lives and provide second chances.

Making a Commitment

• The speaker invites attendees to raise their hands if they wish to accept Jesus, indicating a significant moment where six individuals publicly commit to this decision during the service.

• A prayer is led for forgiveness and commitment, stressing that belief in this prayer leads to immediate transformation into a new creation through Jesus Christ.

Community Support and Encouragement

• Celebrates the decision of new believers by encouraging praise from the congregation, reinforcing community support for those making life-changing commitments.

• Calls all men present to stand up as part of a declaration exercise, fostering unity and accountability among them.

Declaration of Purpose

• The speaker leads men in a declaration aimed at leveraging their lives for others' good and God's glory, promoting an active role in community upliftment.