How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps | Christina Wallace
Online Dating in College
The speaker shares her experience of trying online dating during her freshman year of college in 2001.
Trying Online Dating
- Started online dating in college in 2001.
- Chose online dating due to a lack of compatible partners on campus.
- Describes the process as similar to the plot of "You've Got Mail," with long email exchanges before meeting in person.
- Frustrations with online dating have remained the same over the years.
Benefits and Limitations of Online Dating
The speaker discusses the advantages and disadvantages of online dating.
Broadening Potential Dates
- Online dating expands the pool of potential dates beyond existing social and professional circles.
Limitations of Online Dating
- Online dating has limitations in various aspects.
- Speaker humorously mentions that it doesn't do well at "literally everything else."
- Applies business toolkit to analyze and fix issues when things aren't working out.
Analyzing Love Life Using Business Tools
The speaker applies business tools to analyze her love life and improve her approach to online dating.
Relationship Off-Site
- Took a solo camping trip to reflect on past relationships before turning 30.
- Knew what she wanted in a partner: kindness, curiosity, empathy, sense of purpose.
Prioritizing Criteria for Online Dating
- Shares criteria she prioritized for online dating: Ivy League degree, height, proximity.
- Acknowledges that these were easy factors to vet for online but didn't necessarily lead to compatibility.
Reengineering the Online Dating Process
The speaker explains how she reengineered her approach to online dating using classic business tools.
Choosing OkCupid
- Selected OkCupid to avoid swipe-based apps and have a writing sample.
Setting Up a Sales Funnel
- Defined criteria for qualifying leads.
- Inbound messages had to meet specific requirements: complete sentences, good grammar, reference to her profile, and no sexual content.
Importance of Meeting in Real Life
- Emphasizes the need to meet in person to determine compatibility.
- Introduces the concept of the "zero date" - one drink, one hour - to decide if she would like to have dinner with the person.
The Zero Date Approach
The speaker explains her zero date approach and its benefits.
Purpose of the Zero Date
- The goal of the zero date is not to find "the one" but rather to determine if she would enjoy spending three hours across the table from the person.
Implementing the Zero Date
- Sets up a one-hour meeting with potential matches.
- If it goes well, schedules a first date. If not, uses it as an opportunity for networking practice.
Advantages of the Zero Date
- Allows for multiple dates in one evening with minimal effort.
- Provides insight into how potential partners respond when asked out by her.
Results and Success Story
The speaker shares her experience using the zero date approach and finding success in online dating.
Response Rate
- Out of 210 inbound messages received, only 14% met her criteria.
- Only 15 out of 29 qualified leads replied to her message.
First Zero Date Experience
- Shares an unsuccessful first zero date with a set designer.
Successful Second Zero Date
- Describes a positive experience on her second zero date with a lawyer and writer.
Relationship Outcome
- Two years later, they are living together with shared household items.
Conclusion and Advice
The speaker concludes by providing advice on how to make online dating more enjoyable.
Online Dating Doesn't Have to Suck
- Encourages a different approach to online dating.
- Advises against treating it like a game or resume review.
Source and Qualify Leads
- Recommends using online dating to source and qualify potential partners.
Get Offline Quickly
- Urges getting offline as soon as possible through the zero date approach.
- Emphasizes the importance of meeting in person to determine compatibility.