FBI’s Top Hostage Negotiator: The Art Of Negotiating To Get Whatever You Want: Chris Voss | E147

Name: FBI’s Top Hostage Negotiator: The Art Of Negotiating To Get Whatever You Want: Chris Voss | E147
Uploaded: 2022-05-30T00:00:00.000Z
Duration: 2 h 4 min 48 s

Understanding the Dynamics of Advice Giving and Receiving

In this section, the speaker discusses the dynamics of advice giving and receiving, highlighting how some individuals switch between being a victim and a persecutor. They also emphasize the importance of helping others discover solutions on their own rather than offering direct advice.

The Victim-Persecutor Cycle

Some people may switch from being a victim to a persecutor when given advice.

They attack the person providing advice but then revert back to being a victim to lure them into giving more advice.

This cycle can be detrimental to effective communication and problem-solving.

Helping Others Discover Solutions

Jim Camp's book "Start with No" emphasizes the effectiveness of helping others discover the best answer in business negotiations.

When individuals discover solutions themselves, they have emotional ownership and are more likely to act upon them.

Guided discovery or helping someone find the best outcome is crucial in various contexts, including suicide prevention and hostage negotiation.

Understanding Human Behavior and Loss Aversion

In this section, the speaker reflects on their experience as an FBI negotiator and shares insights about human behavior related to loss aversion. They discuss how loss looms larger than gain for most people and how understanding this can be valuable in negotiations.

Loss Aversion Dominates Thoughts

People's thoughts are often dominated by loss rather than gain.

Daniel Kahneman's research on prospect theory highlights that losses have a greater impact than equivalent gains.

The ratio of loss to gain varies between individuals but can range from 2:1 up to 9:1.

Identifying Loss in Negotiations

Recognizing what someone stands to lose is crucial in negotiations.

Hostage takers often have experienced personal identity loss, which leads them to take hostages.

Looking for triggers or recent events that caused the loss can provide insights into their behavior.

Loss Aversion in Decision Making

Kahneman's research shows that loss aversion is the single dominating influence on human decision making.

Coping with loss aversion is essential in all interactions, and leveraging empathy can be effective in negotiations.

Empathy helps build rapport and avoids triggering a defensive response from the other party.

Leveraging Loss Aversion in Negotiations

In this section, the speaker discusses how to leverage loss aversion during negotiations. They emphasize the importance of using empathy rather than forceful tactics to trigger loss aversion in the other party.

Careful Approach with Loss Aversion

Leverage loss aversion carefully during negotiations.

Using empathy instead of sympathy is crucial to avoid appearing as a hostage taker or manipulator.

Triggering loss without empathy can lead to resistance and hinder successful negotiation outcomes.

Personal Experience with Loss

The speaker shares an intense experience where hostages were killed during a negotiation.

This event highlighted the real consequences of loss and reinforced the need for empathetic negotiation strategies.

Importance of Active Listening in Negotiations

In this section, the speaker emphasizes the significance of active listening in negotiations. They highlight how truly hearing someone out can lead to successful deals and improved outcomes.

Hearing Someone Out

Active listening is essential for understanding others' perspectives and needs.

By genuinely hearing someone out, negotiators can establish trust and create mutually beneficial solutions.

The first real job deal sets the foundation for future deals, making active listening crucial from the start.

Early Experience as a Hostage Negotiator

In this section, the speaker briefly mentions their early experience as a hostage negotiator before transitioning into another topic.

Early Experience

The speaker's first real job deal involved a bank robbery with hostages at Chase Manhattan Bank.

This experience likely shaped their understanding of negotiation dynamics and the importance of effective communication.

The transcript does not provide further details about this topic.

Movies and Personal Life

This section discusses how individuals can become distant in their personal lives due to being wrapped up in their work, using examples from movies.

The Impact of Work on Personal Life

Individuals like Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Spacey, and Eddie Murphy negotiate hostages in movies.

It can be harder for individuals to see things from others' perspectives in real life.

Traumatic events like bank robberies with hostages are rare but can have a lasting impact on people's lives.

Negotiating Bank Robberies

This section explores the rarity of bank robberies with hostages and the challenges faced by negotiators.

Rare Occurrence of Bank Robberies with Hostages

Bank robberies with hostages are rare events.

In New York City, there hadn't been a bank robbery with hostages for over 20 years.

Post-Traumatic Stress Growth

People who have experienced being taken hostage in a bank may go through post-traumatic stress growth.

Negotiators aim to prevent such incidents from happening again by trapping bank robbers inside the bank until the police arrive.

Stephen Bartlett's Background

This section provides insights into Stephen Bartlett's background and his involvement in negotiations.

Extraordinary Life and Volunteering

Stephen Bartlett had an extraordinary life for various reasons.

He volunteered on a suicide hotline while still involved in negotiations.

Skills and Preparation

Negotiation is a perishable skill that requires continuous preparation.

Stephen Bartlett was ready to handle negotiations when he received phone calls due to his upbringing and training.

Lessons Learned from Father

This section highlights the lessons Stephen Bartlett learned from his father and the importance of being prepared.

Working with Father

Stephen Bartlett started working for his father at a young age.

His father was an entrepreneur involved in various activities, including bank robberies.

Being Prepared and Showing Up

Stephen Bartlett's father taught him the importance of being prepared and showing up when trouble arises.

Even at a young age, Stephen Bartlett was involved in tasks that required problem-solving skills.

Tearing Down the Old Garage

This section shares an anecdote about tearing down an old garage and the lessons learned from it.

Running Towards Trouble

A government official advised Stephen Bartlett to run towards trouble.

The anecdote involves tearing down an old garage with the help of crowbars.

These notes provide a comprehensive summary of the transcript, highlighting key points related to movies' impact on personal life, negotiating bank robberies, Stephen Bartlett's background, lessons learned from his father, and running towards trouble.

Trouble and Hard Work

The speaker discusses the importance of facing challenges, working hard, and dealing with criticism. They share personal experiences from their time in law enforcement.

Growing up in a challenging environment

The speaker grew up in a challenging environment where they had to figure things out on their own.

They describe it as a "burning house" environment where hard work was necessary.

Despite being ethical and honest, they still faced criticism.

Dealing with criticism and striving for success

The speaker emphasizes the importance of being honest and hardworking despite criticism.

They mention that some people may not want to see others succeed because they have failed themselves.

Working in law enforcement, the speaker experienced lower levels of criticism compared to other professions.

Joining the SWAT team

The speaker was part of the SWAT team for about a year while working with the FBI in Pittsburgh.

Later, they transferred to New York and tried out for the FBI's Hostage Rescue Team (HRT).

Unfortunately, they re-injured their knee during training for HRT.

Taking on leadership roles

Despite not making it onto HRT due to their injury, the speaker was assigned as a coach during a hostage situation.

They were responsible for coordinating communication between negotiators and the rest of the team.

Handling crisis situations

During a bank robbery with hostages, the speaker was given the responsibility of negotiating with the bank robber.

They had to make critical decisions and work towards resolving the situation.

Conclusion

The speaker shares their love for crisis response and highlights the importance of making decisions in challenging situations.

Crisis response and decision-making

The speaker expresses their passion for crisis response.

They emphasize the significance of making decisions when faced with difficult circumstances.

This summary is based on the provided transcript.

The Dangers of Comfortable Inaction

This section discusses the concept of comfortable inaction and its dangers, as mentioned by President Kennedy.

President Kennedy's Perspective

President Kennedy talks about the dangers of comfortable inaction.

The Great CEO Negotiator

The speaker mentions that they always hated the term "great CEO negotiator."

They wanted to stay involved in crisis response and not act helpless at the table.

Negotiating Commitments

The speaker discusses how negotiators don't want to be forced into commitments.

They joke about their family's motto being "how hard can it be?" when learning negotiation.

Balancing Commitments

The speaker highlights the importance of balancing commitments due to external factors like a board of directors or personal circumstances.

They share an anecdote about a conversation with someone who rejected them because they didn't want to get fired by their own company.

Power Dynamics in Negotiation

The speaker emphasizes that having power in negotiation means not caring about what others think or say, like the head of a hostage negotiation team for the FBI.

They mention a situation where they sought out someone who orchestrated a bank robbery but was scared of their own team members.

Initial Assessment and Credentials

The speaker recounts an interaction where they expressed interest in joining a negotiation but were initially rejected based on their perceived inadequacy.

They admit to having no previous experience or credentials, which was seen as a smoke screen by the other person involved.

Proactive Approach

The speaker shares their proactive approach in trying to identify the owner of a van during a negotiation.

They mention that this approach aligns with their operating principle.

The transcript provided does not have specific timestamps for each bullet point, so I have associated them based on the given timestamps and the chronological order of the content.

New Section

This section discusses the process of finding a person and the importance of voice identification.

Finding the Right Person

The bank trades places with an individual who cannot be found.

They go to his address but he is nowhere to be found.

They ask someone at his address if they know the right person.

Voice Identification

The speaker suggests volunteering on a suicide hotline as a technique for voice identification.

The witness confirms that the person they are looking for is named Chris.

Voice identification is used to confirm the identity of the person.

The person never gave their name, which was another FBI technique.

New Section

This section discusses the experience of volunteering on a suicide hotline and its impact on understanding people in crisis situations.

Volunteering on a Suicide Hotline

The speaker mentions volunteering on a suicide hotline for five months.

They explain how this experience helped them connect with people in crisis situations.

The lieutenant suggests confronting someone using skills learned from volunteering on the hotline.

Impact of Volunteering

Volunteering on the hotline provided valuable skills for understanding manipulative individuals.

It allowed for a smooth transition in taking back control and benefiting everyone involved.

New Section

This section highlights the importance of learning from others' experiences and making smooth transitions in negotiations.

Learning from Others' Experiences

The speaker emphasizes learning from others' experiences during negotiations.

They mention being involved in funding, operations, and board discussions.

Smooth Transitions

A smooth transition is important when handing off negotiations between negotiators.

The second negotiator acknowledges that it is obvious to learn from previous experiences.

New Section

This section discusses the training received and the importance of emotional intelligence in negotiations.

Training and Emotional Intelligence

The speaker mentions receiving phenomenal training.

They highlight the importance of emotional intelligence in understanding difficult individuals.

Soaking Up Knowledge

The speaker describes themselves as a sponge, absorbing knowledge during their training.

They emphasize the value of learning skills to serve the community effectively.

New Section

This section emphasizes taking back control and benefiting everyone involved in negotiations.

Taking Back Control

The speaker mentions taking back control as a secondary bonus.

They highlight the importance of not doing a smooth transition for manipulative individuals.

Benefiting Everyone Involved

Negotiations should benefit everyone involved, not just the negotiator.

The speaker engages with a difficult individual while maintaining a willingness to learn.

Timestamps are provided for each section to help locate specific parts of the video.

The Emotional Toll of Crisis Hotline Volunteer Work

This section discusses the emotional challenges faced by crisis hotline volunteers and the potential impact on their well-being.

Challenges Faced by Crisis Hotline Volunteers

Crisis hotline volunteers experience emotional difficulties due to the nature of their work.

The fear of snipers targeting them adds an additional level of stress and concern.

Volunteers may feel emotionally drained after spending long hours trying to help callers in distress.

Volunteer Burnout and Emotional Drain

Volunteer burnout is a significant problem in crisis hotline work.

The difficulty of helping callers, especially when they are hostages, can be emotionally draining.

Frequent callers who drain energy without seeking genuine help can contribute to volunteer burnout.

Balancing Learning and Helping

Some volunteers join crisis hotlines with the intention of learning rather than primarily helping others.

While helping others is a secondary benefit, it is important not to let frequent callers drain one's energy completely.

Understanding Difficult Callers and Negotiation Strategies

This section explores strategies for dealing with difficult callers on crisis hotlines and introduces negotiation techniques.

The Drama Triangle Model

The speaker refers to the Drama Triangle model as a way to understand difficult people on crisis hotlines.

The model consists of three archetypes: victim, persecutor, and protector.

Applying the Drama Triangle Model in Business Negotiations

The speaker shares how he applied the Drama Triangle model in a business negotiation scenario.

By identifying the roles of victim, persecutor, and protector, one can navigate difficult interactions more effectively.

Mirror Technique and Dealing with Difficult Callers

The mirror technique involves repeating the words of difficult callers to gain clarity.

Difficult callers may switch between victim and persecutor roles to manipulate volunteers into giving advice or attention.

Recognizing Manipulation Tactics

Difficult callers may try to lure volunteers into giving advice only to attack them later.

Being aware of manipulation tactics helps volunteers maintain boundaries and avoid being drawn into harmful interactions.

This summary covers selected portions of the transcript for brevity and focuses on key points related to emotional challenges faced by crisis hotline volunteers and strategies for dealing with difficult callers.

New Section

This section discusses the importance of guiding others to discover solutions and the effectiveness of helping them see a different perspective.

Guiding Others to Discover Solutions

As a result of mirroring techniques, one can guide others into giving advice.

It is important to help others discover the best outcome rather than simply providing advice.

By allowing them to discover their own solutions, they gain emotional ownership and are more likely to follow through.

Effectiveness in Business Negotiation

The book "Start with No" by Jim Camp explores the effectiveness of negotiation strategies.

Offering something mutually beneficial increases the chances of successful negotiation.

Helping counterparts see a different vision of the future can lead to better outcomes.

Lessons from Real-Life Situations

A real-life case involving a bank robber highlights the importance of guided discovery in negotiations.

The negotiator's primary concern was avoiding getting killed, while also focusing on discovering the best outcome for all parties involved.

Understanding human behavior and addressing concerns about loss can contribute to successful negotiations.

Perception of Loss vs Gain

Prospect theory suggests that people perceive losses as more significant than gains in negotiations.

The ratio between perceived loss and gain varies but is generally higher for losses.

Researchers struggle to assign an exact numerical value but estimate it ranges from 2:1 to 9:1 for loss vs gain perception.

These summaries are based on specific timestamps provided in the transcript.

Understanding the Hostage Taker's Behavior

In this section, the speaker discusses how to interpret and respond to a hostage taker's behavior.

Analyzing the Hostage Taker's Intentions

The speaker suggests that when faced with a hostage taker, it is important to consider their intentions and motivations.

They mention that the hostage taker may be testing the negotiator or trying to determine their behavior.

The speaker acknowledges that they might be seen as a liar if they lie during negotiations, which could impact their reputation.

Identifying Triggers and Personal Identity

The speaker highlights the possibility of a triggering event leading to the hostage situation.

They emphasize that being able to identify personal identity issues can help in understanding the hostage taker's behavior.

Importance of Honesty and Reputation

The speaker explains that lying to a liar is ineffective as they are skilled at detecting deception.

They mention Danny Kahneman and Amos Tversky's research on decision-making and deception.

It is noted that lying can have long-term consequences for one's reputation, especially if discovered after someone has passed away.

Using Empathy in Negotiations

This section focuses on leveraging empathy when negotiating with a hostage taker.

Leveraging Empathy for Influence

The speaker introduces empathy as a powerful tool in negotiations with hostage takers.

They discuss using empathy rather than sympathy to establish rapport and influence the hostage taker's decision-making.

Applying Empathy in a Hostage Situation

The speaker suggests using empathy to understand the hostage taker's perspective and motivations.

They mention that empathy can help create a more organized negotiation process compared to chaos and confusion.

Negotiating with Limited Time

The speaker acknowledges the challenge of negotiating within a short time frame, such as 60 seconds.

They discuss the importance of carefully choosing words and actions when attempting to leverage empathy in a limited time frame.

Balancing Empathy and Leverage

This section explores the balance between leveraging empathy and using leverage against a hostage taker.

Using Leverage Effectively

The speaker discusses the potential use of leverage, such as offering a car, to meet the demands of a hostage taker.

They caution against using force or coercion as it may escalate the situation instead of resolving it peacefully.

Empathy versus Sympathy

The speaker clarifies that empathy is different from sympathy when dealing with a hostage taker.

They emphasize that showing empathy does not mean giving in to all demands but rather understanding their perspective without condoning their actions.

Triggering Reason to Live

The speaker highlights that understanding the hostage taker's reason to live can be crucial in negotiations.

They mention that acknowledging this reason without prying into personal matters can help establish trust and facilitate progress in negotiations.

The Importance of Preparation

This section discusses the importance of preparation in hostage negotiation.

Becoming a Hostage Negotiator

It is important to have proper training and experience as a hostage negotiator.

The speaker mentions their first real job was at Chase Manhattan Bank, dealing with bank robberies and hostages.

Hostage negotiators aim to get the robbers to think about their actions and consider releasing the hostages.

Rare Events

Bank robberies with hostages are rare events, occurring only 7% of the time in New York City.

The primary goal of hostage negotiators is not to put additional people at risk.

It is unlikely that giving in to the demands of the robbers will save a hostage's life.

Success Rate

Hostage negotiators have a success rate of 93% in resolving bank robberies with hostages in New York City.

However, there are instances where the bad guys manage to escape before police intervention.

Strategies for Handling Bank Robberies

This section focuses on strategies used by hostage negotiators during bank robberies.

Prioritizing Safety

The main objective is to ensure the safety of all individuals involved, including both hostages and law enforcement officers.

Negotiators try to prevent any additional harm or risk during negotiations.

Trapping Bank Robbers

Trapping bank robbers inside a bank with car hostages is extremely rare.

Saving hostages while apprehending bank robbers requires careful planning and execution.

Perishable Skills

Negotiation skills are perishable, meaning they require continuous practice and refinement.

Training plays a crucial role in maintaining high skill levels for effective negotiations.

Personal Experience as a Negotiator

In this section, the speaker shares their personal experience as a hostage negotiator.

Readiness and Nervousness

The speaker was ready to engage in negotiations when called upon, having prepared extensively.

They were not nervous but rather focused on the task at hand.

Motivation and Objectives

The speaker became a hostage negotiator because they wanted to make a difference and achieve positive outcomes.

Their objective was to successfully resolve hostage situations and ensure the safety of all involved.

Volunteering and Skill Development

The speaker volunteered their negotiation skills while working on suicide hotlines.

Negotiation skills are honed through practice, training, and real-life experiences.

Conclusion

This section concludes the transcript by emphasizing the importance of preparation and dedication in hostage negotiation.

Importance of Preparation

Proper training, experience, and continuous skill development are crucial for effective hostage negotiation.

Being well-prepared increases the chances of successful outcomes in high-pressure situations.

Dedication to the Task

Hostage negotiators must be dedicated to their role, focusing on achieving positive results while ensuring everyone's safety.

Personal motivation plays a significant role in becoming an effective negotiator.

Reluctance to Get Involved

The speaker expresses their reluctance to get involved in a conversation and emphasizes that they were never asked to participate.

Reluctance to Engage

The speaker states that they don't want to get involved in the conversation.

They mention that they were never asked by a friend of theirs to engage in the discussion.

The questions posed by the other person make them ponder and reflect on past mistakes.

The speaker has learned the lesson of showing up and not abandoning situations.

Advice on Making Decisions

The speaker reflects on advice they received from an official, which emphasized the importance of making decisions and not being afraid of running into trouble.

Importance of Decision-Making

The speaker recalls advice from a government official about making decisions.

They mention that the purpose of asking certain questions is not to cause trouble but rather to encourage critical thinking.

Reflecting on Daniel Kahneman's book "Thinking, Fast and Slow," the speaker highlights the value of deep thinking when faced with challenging situations.

Running into trouble or chaos can lead to better decision-making as it requires thorough consideration.

Lower Criticism through Pondering

The speaker discusses how running into trouble can result in lower criticism because it shows a willingness to make difficult decisions after careful thought.

Lower Criticism through Deep Thinking

The speaker appreciates a sentence mentioned earlier about lower criticism when one runs into trouble.

They explain that when someone makes a decision after deep thinking, they are less likely to face harsh criticism compared to those who hesitate or avoid taking action.

This approach allows individuals to take ownership of their decisions, even if others may disagree with them.

The speaker acknowledges that empathy plays a role in decision-making, but ultimately, the focus is on making the best possible choice.

Pondering the Reality of Demands

The speaker reflects on their own demands and realizes that some of them may not be feasible or practical.

Realization of Unrealistic Demands

The speaker contemplates the possibility of their demands being unrealistic.

They provide an example of a hypothetical situation where even if they were sitting at their desk in New York, it would not be possible to fulfill a request made by someone else.

The speaker mentions a bank robbery scenario as another reason why certain demands cannot always be met immediately.

They acknowledge that there are limitations and constraints that need to be considered when making requests.

Understanding Limitations and Priorities

The speaker discusses how their perspective shifted after considering the reality of demands and priorities in different situations.

Shifting Perspective

The speaker refers to a question about covering an interview and explains how it made them realize the limitations of their own requests.

They mention that sometimes other priorities take precedence over personal preferences or desires.

Reflecting on law enforcement scenarios, such as a bank robbery with hostages, the speaker emphasizes the need to prioritize urgent situations over individual plans or expectations.

They highlight the importance of understanding different perspectives and adapting to changing circumstances.

The First Negotiator

In this section, the speaker talks about being the first negotiator and integrating into the team.

Integrating into the Team

The speaker integrated into the team as the first negotiator.

They were initially seen as a police detective.

The rest of the team didn't have a good feeling about them.

The original negotiator, Joe, talked to them about the situation.

Shifting to Collaboration

This section focuses on shifting from an adversarial approach to a collaborative conversation during negotiations.

Stalemate and Threat Level

The speaker realized that trying to negotiate with an adversarial approach was not working.

They mentioned that it was never going to happen if they continued in that direction.

Lieutenant McGowan gave them a chance and handed them the phone.

Collaborative Conversation

At this point, their job was to shift from an adversarial approach to a collaborative conversation.

They clarified that they didn't think the bank robbery would actually happen.

They emphasized the importance of collaboration in negotiation and finding outcomes together.

Importance of Collaboration

This section highlights how collaboration is crucial in negotiations and how it affects relationships.

Long-Term Relationships

The speaker mentions that no relationship survives long-term without collaboration.

Collaboration is necessary for commitment and avoiding forcing someone into a corner.

Great CEO Negotiator

A great CEO negotiator understands the importance of collaboration at the table.

Collaboration helps build trust and find mutually beneficial outcomes.

Board of Directors' Influence

This section discusses how board directors' influence affects negotiations and decision-making.

Board of Directors' Influence

The speaker mentions that negotiators have to be careful because they have a board of directors to answer to.

If they make the wrong decisions, they could get fired.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of getting the hostages out alive to avoid negative consequences.

Building Trust with Hostage

This section focuses on building trust with the hostage and being cautious about what is said during negotiations.

Building Trust

The speaker highlights the importance of building trust with the hostage.

They mention that everything said during negotiations will be remembered by their counterparts in future interactions.

Being Cautious

The speaker acknowledges that they need to be careful about what they say to the hostage.

They emphasize that if they mislead or lie, it will have consequences in future interactions.

Karma in Negotiations

This section discusses karma and its role in negotiations.

Karma in Negotiations

The speaker believes that karma plays a significant role in negotiations.

They mention that if someone lies or does something wrong, it will come back to them eventually.

New Section

The speaker discusses a change in their diet and fitness routine, as well as their involvement in a negotiation.

Changes in Diet and Fitness Routine

The speaker mentions that their diet has changed along with their fitness routine.

They talk about the increase in cars in their residential commercial area of Brooklyn.

The speaker admits that their diet has been pretty bad recently, which is starting to show on the outside.

They mention going to the gym about 80% of the time over the last few months.

The speaker reveals that they are trying to reduce calorie intake and get back to being nutritionally complete.

They express gratitude for a protein shake product they enjoy, specifically mentioning salted caramel flavor.

Negotiation Involvement

The speaker mentions being involved in negotiations for several hours and having the banks surrounded.

They reveal that they have started investigating someone on the outside during this negotiation process.

The person under investigation is running a cash courier business that services an online group called "Fitness Blockchain."

The speaker talks about tracking this person's van with 10 friends but not being able to find him.

They mention running negotiations and listening to voices while dealing with this situation.

New Section

The importance of connection and communication during negotiations is discussed, along with strategies for effective hand-offs between negotiators.

Importance of Connection in Negotiations

The speaker emphasizes the importance of feeling connected during negotiations.

They mention that some people try to overpower others in negotiations, but it's crucial to listen and connect.

The speaker talks about the protocol of handing off from one negotiator to another and how it can impact success rates.

Effective Hand-offs in Negotiations

They mention a lieutenant instructing someone to confront a person they are negotiating with.

The speaker explains that instead of a normal hand-off, there will be a smooth transition where the second negotiator starts talking normally without revealing they just joined.

They discuss how initial visibility and success can drop off if the hand-off is not done smoothly.

New Section

The speaker reflects on dealing with difficult individuals during negotiations.

Dealing with Difficult Individuals

The speaker mentions someone named Cliff and expresses uncertainty about where to start when dealing with him.

New Section

The speaker discusses the decline in productivity and the need to take back control. They emphasize the importance of listening and establishing trust in negotiations.

Decline in Productivity

The team had a strong first quarter, but there has been a steady decline in productivity.

The speaker mentions a manipulative individual who cannot be tolerated anymore.

This person is loud and subtle at the same time, causing disruptions.

Importance of Listening

The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening as an advanced skill in negotiations.

They mention that a skilled listener can identify smoke screens and pay attention to what's important.

Listening helps establish trust and increases the velocity of deals.

Establishing Trust

The speaker shares an example of how they established trust with someone by genuinely listening to them.

They mention that this increased the velocity of their deal and improved their ability to make deals with others.

Identifying Hidden Agendas

The speaker talks about identifying hidden agendas by listening carefully to different perspectives.

They mention that understanding each party's point of view is crucial for efficient negotiations.

New Section

The speaker discusses how active listening can increase deal velocity and shares an example from a past negotiation experience.

Increasing Deal Velocity

Active listening can increase the velocity of deals by understanding needs and concerns quickly.

The speaker mentions that actively listening during negotiations may seem counter-intuitive but is effective.

Example from Past Negotiation

The speaker recalls a negotiation where they heard a female voice on the phone saying she was okay.

This increased their urgency to close the deal faster, knowing there was someone else involved.

New Section

The speaker emphasizes the importance of hearing out all parties involved in negotiations before making deals.

Hearing Out All Parties

The speaker highlights the need to hear out all parties involved in negotiations.

They mention that understanding different perspectives helps in making efficient deals.

The speaker shares an example of how they spoke to the owners of every van involved in a negotiation to gather information and establish trust.

Efficient Negotiations

Understanding each party's point of view is crucial for efficient negotiations.

The speaker mentions that this approach increases their ability to make successful deals.

This summary covers specific sections of the transcript.

[t=0:37:46s] Negotiation Techniques and Caveman Ancestors

In this section, the speaker discusses negotiation techniques and how they relate to our caveman ancestors. The importance of understanding different communication styles and the impact it can have on negotiations is highlighted.

Different Communication Styles

The speaker mentions the importance of understanding different communication styles in negotiations.

A mirror technique is mentioned, where the negotiator reflects the tone of voice used by the other person to better understand their perspective.

Three voices or communication styles are discussed - cut and run, fight, and make friends.

The negotiator asks for a flavor of these three voices available to negotiators.

Impact on Negotiations

The speaker explains that these communication styles are rooted in our caveman ancestors' survival instincts.

Examples are given where certain communication styles led to successful outcomes while others resulted in negative consequences.

Each communication style has its own voice and concerns that need to be addressed during negotiations.

Importance of Understanding Others

The speaker emphasizes the need to understand others' communication styles and adapt accordingly.

An example is given where a direct communicator was reassured about being treated with dignity and respect during negotiations.

By understanding different communication styles and adapting our approach accordingly, we can improve our negotiation skills and achieve more successful outcomes.

New Section

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of maintaining credibility and managing emotions during negotiations. They also touch upon different types of voices that can trigger neurochemical responses in others.

The Importance of Credibility and Managing Emotions

To make successful deals, it is crucial to maintain credibility and avoid wearing people out with empty promises.

Analytical negotiation techniques taught at Harvard emphasize a soothing and calming voice that triggers a neurochemical response in others.

It is important to be aware of different types of voices used by interviewers or negotiators, as they may be testing for confidence or trying to detect lies.

Triggering Neurochemical Responses

Different voices can trigger specific neurochemical responses in individuals. For example, a calm and soothing voice can induce a sense of relaxation, while a smiling voice may indicate deception.

Lying to someone who is skilled at detecting lies is challenging because their neurochemical reactions are different from those who are easily deceived.

Reputation and Emotional Situations

Maintaining a reputation for honesty is advantageous in emotional situations or negotiations involving hostages, as lying can quickly be discovered when observed closely.

The speaker highlights the advantage of being perceived as honest in high-stakes situations where emotions play a significant role.

New Section

In this section, the speaker discusses how tone of voice can influence negotiations and pacify potentially dangerous situations.

Tone of Voice in Negotiations

The speaker demonstrates a negotiation scenario where a calm and soothing voice is used to pacify a potentially dangerous situation.

The beggar in the scenario is encouraged to collaborate and negotiate, using both a soothing voice and an assertive tone.

Pacifying Potentially Dangerous Situations

In negotiations involving threats or demands, it may be necessary to pacify the other party by addressing their concerns or needs.

The speaker emphasizes that pacifying the other party's emotions is not their responsibility but rather a strategy to defuse tense situations.

Recognizing Chaos and Maintaining Composure

The speaker acknowledges the chaotic nature of negotiations but highlights the importance of maintaining composure amidst chaos.

A downward inflecting voice can convey organization and stability compared to the chaos present in negotiations.

The transcript provided does not contain timestamps for every line of dialogue, so some sections may lack specific timestamps.

New Section

This section discusses the concept of labeling pain and creating a bridge in communication.

Labeling Pain and Creating a Bridge

The video portrays a character who listens and thinks about what others say, even in difficult situations.

Labeling someone's pain involves acknowledging and understanding the negative emotions they are experiencing.

By labeling their pain, it creates a bridge for effective communication and understanding.

The speaker suggests getting a car to demonstrate empathy by feeling the pain of others.

The goal is to find common ground and establish connection rather than avoiding difficult conversations.

New Section

This section explores the importance of finding control in challenging situations.

Finding Control in Challenging Situations

In order to find control, it is necessary to take action and engage with others involved.

By talking to them, one can influence their thinking and potentially change the outcome.

It may be uncomfortable or challenging, but taking initiative is crucial in regaining control.

The speaker emphasizes that making deals and accelerating negotiations can lead to successful outcomes.

New Section

This section discusses the use of neuroscience in hostage negotiation.

Neuroscience in Hostage Negotiation

Neuroscience experiments have shown that certain techniques used by hostage negotiators are effective in saving lives.

Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging devices have been used to observe brain activity during negotiations.

The speaker mentions that their goal is to prove the effectiveness of these techniques without putting additional people at risk.

Anecdotal evidence and neuroscience studies support the success rate of hostage negotiators.

The transcript provided does not contain enough information to create more sections or chapters.

New Section

This section discusses the impact of certain stimuli on the brain and how it influences emotions and decision-making.

The Brain's Response to Stimuli

While performing a task, the brain lights up, indicating increased activity.

Showing stimuli for more than 45 seconds can evoke a negative emotion.

A photograph is mentioned as an example of a stimulus.

Labeling Emotions

Negative emotions can be provoked by certain stimuli.

People are asked to identify or label their feelings in response to the stimuli.

Questions are posed to elicit emotional reactions and make individuals think deeply.

Impact on Decision-Making

The questions asked aim to make individuals ponder and think about their emotions.

By labeling negative emotions, the electrical activity in that part of the brain diminishes.

The impact of these techniques varies from person to person but aims to influence decision-making.

New Section

This section explores how asking specific questions and making individuals ponder can lead to deeper thinking and decision-making.

Deep Thinking and Decision-Making

Asking thought-provoking questions helps individuals ponder and think deeply.

The combination of pondering, emotional reaction, and deep thinking influences decision-making.

Labeling negative emotions allows individuals to make decisions based on thorough consideration.

Impact on Decision-Making Process

The impact of these techniques can vary, from minimal to significant.

The nature of the impact is to make individuals ponder and think deeply about their decisions.

The goal is to diminish negative emotions during the decision-making process.

New Section

This section discusses how confirmation and empathy play a role in influencing responses and decision-making.

Seeking Confirmation

In negotiations, seeking confirmation from the other party is important.

Confirmation indicates a degree of empathy and understanding.

Impact on Responses

Even if someone wanted to have a negative reaction, the techniques used prevent it.

Making individuals ponder the reality of their response helps them understand its impossibility.

The demand for understanding prevents negative reactions from occurring.

The Importance of Collaboration in Negotiations

In this section, the speaker emphasizes the significance of collaboration in negotiations and how it can lead to successful outcomes.

Collaborative Approach Leads to Positive Resolutions

A collaborative approach in negotiations can result in a great resolution.

It is important to ponder and realize that no matter what one asks for, an adversarial or confrontational approach will not yield positive results.

Whether it's a negotiation between landlord and tenant or employee and employer, adopting a collaborative mindset can lead to better outcomes.

Asking for something politely and respectfully can create a positive direction in business deals.

The Power of Epiphanies and Oxytocin

When someone says "that's right" during a negotiation, it may indicate that they are trying to shift the conversation towards collaboration.

Epiphanies play a role in collaborative conversations as they trigger the release of oxytocin, also known as the bonding drug.

Oxytocin enhances collaboration and makes people more likely to tell the truth during negotiations.

Building a bond through collaboration is essential for long-term relationships and successful negotiations.

Oxytocin Promotes Truthfulness

Oxytocin tends to make people more truthful during negotiations.

Negotiators who establish a bond with their clients are more likely to receive honest information from them.

This honesty can be beneficial for negotiators as they work towards finding mutually beneficial outcomes.

Collaboration Across Different Areas of Life

In this section, the speaker discusses how collaboration extends beyond negotiations into various aspects of life.

Collaboration is Essential Everywhere

Collaboration plays a crucial role in different areas of life such as teamwork, hostage negotiation, business deals, podcasting, personal relationships, etc.

The principles of collaboration mentioned in the book "Never Split the Difference" can be applied by anyone, regardless of gender.

Conclusion

The speaker concludes the discussion on collaboration and its importance in negotiations.

Collaboration as a Key Principle

Collaboration is a key principle emphasized throughout the transcript.

It is an essential aspect of successful negotiations and building strong relationships.

By adopting a collaborative approach, negotiators can create positive resolutions and foster trust with their counterparts.

The transcript provided does not contain any additional information or conclusions beyond what is summarized above.

New Section

This section discusses the importance of honesty and collaboration in romantic relationships, as well as the concept of karma.

Importance of Honesty and Collaboration

In romantic relationships, it is crucial to be honest with your partner. Lying will have consequences.

To have a successful romantic relationship, one must invest effort and collaborate with their partner.

Developing collaborative skills can benefit both current and future relationships.

Acknowledging and making your partner feel heard is essential for a healthy relationship.

Belief in Karma

The speaker strongly believes in karma and its impact on romantic relationships.

Karma can translate effectively into various aspects of life, including romantic relationships.

The speaker shares personal experiences related to karma in their own relationships.

New Section

This section focuses on the speaker's diet changes within the context of a romantic relationship.

Impact on Diet

The speaker's diet has been affected by their current romantic relationship.

They have made efforts to slim down and reduce calorie intake due to the additional demands of the relationship.

The speaker tracks their workouts using a fitness blockchain app shared with friends in a WhatsApp group.

Understanding and Support

It is important for partners to understand and support each other's goals, such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle or diet changes.

The speaker acknowledges that sometimes it may be harder for them to prioritize their own health when considering their partner's perspective.

New Section

This section discusses the importance of negotiation skills in romantic relationships.

Importance of Negotiation

Negotiation skills are crucial in a romantic relationship, especially when dating a smart and assertive partner.

It is important to listen and understand your partner's perspective during negotiations, rather than overpowering them or talking at them.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of intent behind negotiations and avoiding manipulative tactics.

Communication and Understanding

Partners should aim for open communication and understanding during negotiations, rather than using tactics to shut each other up.

Lack of effective negotiation can lead to relationship issues, such as difficulty holding a job.

Disingenuous People and the Importance of Listening

In this section, the speaker discusses the importance of listening and how being disingenuous can negatively impact relationships.

The Consequences of Being Disingenuous

Disingenuous people may initially appear to want things to be better, but their true intentions are revealed over time.

Relationships with disingenuous individuals often have a short-term success rate that drops off over time.

It is important to make others feel heard and valued in order to maintain a long-term relationship.

Failing to consider how others feel can lead to a decline in productivity and damage the relationship.

The Importance of Listening

Listening is crucial for successful negotiations and building strong relationships.

Negotiation methodologies that do not prioritize listening are ineffective.

Advanced listening skills can help navigate difficult situations and improve negotiation outcomes.

Post-Traumatic Stress Growth

Listening can lead to post-traumatic stress growth, where traumatic events become opportunities for personal growth and improvement.

Taking the time to listen and understand others' perspectives can result in better deals and increased trust.

Building Trust through Listening

By actively listening in the first deal, trust can be established, leading to faster subsequent deals with improved outcomes.

The Power of Trust in Negotiations

This section explores the significance of trust in negotiations.

Establishing Trust Early On

Building trust early on is essential for successful negotiations.

Trust allows for faster progress and more productive discussions.

The Burnham's Barrel Case

In the Burnham's Barrel case, trust played a crucial role in moving forward quickly and effectively.

Conclusion

This section concludes the discussion on the importance of listening and trust in negotiations.

Listening and being genuine are key factors in building successful relationships and achieving positive negotiation outcomes.

Establishing trust early on can lead to faster progress and better results in negotiations.

Negotiating Deals and Challenges

This section discusses the challenges faced in making deals and negotiating, particularly in a case involving Abu Sayyaf.

The Abu Sayyaf Case

Abu Sayyaf was a terrorist group responsible for kidnappings and murders.

Negotiators had to deal with their highly efficient tactics, including killing hostages and taking new ones.

The negotiators had to navigate through difficult terrain and negotiate with the group while facing constant threats.

Tragic Outcome

In a botched rescue attempt, three remaining hostages were killed by friendly fire from Philippine scout rangers.

The rangers mistook an Abu Sayyaf encampment for a threat and opened fire without realizing there were hostages present.

Impact on Negotiator

The negotiator reflects on this tragic event as one of the worst moments in his professional career.

He felt sorry for himself for a long time but acknowledges that such incidents are part of the global reality of negotiations.

Personal Impact of Tragedies

This section explores the personal impact of tragedies on negotiators involved in high-stakes situations.

Emotional Toll

The negotiator shares how the deaths of hostages affected him personally.

He describes feeling sorry for himself and experiencing emotional distress for a significant period of time.

Global Perspective

Despite personal feelings, he recognizes that tragedies like these occur globally regardless of gender, ethnicity, or religion.

The negotiator emphasizes that such events leave lasting impressions on individuals involved in negotiations.

Worst Professional Moment

This section highlights the worst professional moment experienced by the negotiator during his career.

Blunt Approach

The negotiator refers to this moment as the worst in his professional career.

He compares it to the blunt and aggressive style of Donald Trump, describing it as a direct attack on him as a negotiator.

Personal vs Professional

Initially, he believed this was the worst moment in his personal life until hearing about another incident involving Donald Trump.

The negotiator reflects on the impact of such moments on both personal and professional aspects of his life.

The transcript is already in English.

Dealing with Trauma and Emotional Responses

In this section, the speaker discusses the emotional impact of traumatic experiences and how it affects our ability to cope and negotiate effectively.

Understanding the Emotional Impact of Trauma

The speaker shares an example of someone who experienced a traumatic event, such as being hit in the face with a brick.

Watching someone talk about their trauma can be counterproductive and inhibits their ability to deal with the scars and wounds.

The speaker mentions that discussing traumatic events triggers a neurochemical response that can actually calm us down.

Adjusting Strategies for Effective Communication

The speaker emphasizes the importance of using a soothing and calming voice when discussing traumatic experiences.

By adjusting their tone of voice, news anchors were able to convey information without causing unnecessary distress.

Using a friendly voice and smile during communication can create confidence and help people feel better.

Moving Forward after Traumatic Events

Instead of dwelling on personal losses, focusing on getting better right away can lead to positive outcomes for others involved.

Collaboration becomes difficult when dealing with trauma, but forming relationships based on understanding and support is crucial.

Negotiating in Difficult Situations

In this section, the speaker discusses negotiation strategies and the importance of maintaining a calm and confident demeanor in challenging situations.

The Power of Voice and Perspective

The speaker highlights the significance of using a certain voice and smile to pacify others during negotiations.

Adjusting communication style can have a positive impact on forming relationships and achieving successful outcomes.

Overcoming Challenges in Negotiation

Negotiating traumatic situations requires a combination of naivety and experience to navigate difficult circumstances effectively.

It is important to remain calm, collaborate, and adjust strategies based on the situation at hand.

This summary covers specific sections of the transcript related to trauma, emotional responses, negotiation strategies, and overcoming challenges.

Understanding Communication Styles in Relationships

In this section, the speaker discusses the impact of personal experiences on communication styles in relationships and the importance of genuine listening.

Communication Styles and Traumatic Experiences

Personal traumatic experiences can affect one's ability to commit to a relationship.

The speaker's home life was traumatic, leading to a fear of commitment.

Living through traumatic events can result in downward inflecting speech patterns.

Genuine Listening and Emotional Labeling

Genuine listening involves actively considering what the other person is saying.

It is important for individuals to genuinely think about their partner's perspective and emotions.

Labeling the other person's pain can help create understanding and empathy.

Different Processing Styles in Relationships

Some individuals process their emotions by talking about them, while others prefer to reflect internally.

Acknowledging and labeling the other person's pain can bridge communication gaps.

Mirroring and Validation

Mirroring involves repeating back what the other person has said to show understanding.

Mirroring can be both verbal and non-verbal, including body language cues.

The Power of Mirroring in Communication

This section explores the concept of mirroring in communication and its effectiveness in building rapport.

Mirroring Techniques

Hostage negotiators use mirroring techniques to establish rapport and accelerate deals.

Mirroring can be taught in business settings to improve communication skills.

The Black Swan Method

The Black Swan Method is a technique that involves mirroring and leveraging neuroscience principles.

Anecdotal evidence supports the effectiveness of mirroring in improving communication.

Walking the Talk

Repeating back what the other person has said reinforces understanding and validates their feelings.

Mirroring can be practiced by making conscious efforts to mirror both verbal and non-verbal cues.

The Role of Neuroscience in Body Language

In this section, the speaker discusses the role of neuroscience in understanding body language and how experiments using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) have been conducted to study brain activity during interactions.

Neuroscience Experiments on Body Language

Neuroscience has explored the concept of mirroring in body language through experiments using fMRIs.

Participants are placed inside fMRI devices to observe their brain activity while engaging in natural conversations.

By analyzing brain activity, researchers can identify when individuals are truly engaged and listening to each other.

Mirroring body language can create a negative emotional response, as people may feel manipulated or exploited.

It is important to be cautious about inducing negative emotions in others through manipulative body language techniques.

Labeling and Mirroring for Emotional Impact

This section focuses on the use of labeling and mirroring techniques to guide emotional responses during negotiations or interactions.

Labeling Negative Emotions

Labeling involves repeating the last one or three words that someone said, which helps to identify and acknowledge their feelings.

This technique has been found to be effective in diminishing negative emotions by reducing electrical activity in specific parts of the brain.

By gently but purposefully labeling negative emotions, it guides the conversation towards a more positive direction.

Mirroring for Emotional Impact

Mirroring refers to subtly imitating another person's body language or behavior during an interaction.

People with high emotional intelligence (EQ) tend to excel at mirroring because they understand and react empathetically to others' emotions.

Mirroring can have a significant impact on influencing emotions during negotiations or interactions.

The Nature of Impact in Negotiations

This section explores the nature of impact in negotiations and how it can be influenced by different factors.

Consistency in Impact

The degree of impact may vary depending on the specific objectives and projects being worked on.

However, the nature of impact remains consistent, aiming to diminish negative emotions and guide negotiations towards a positive outcome.

Coaching Emotional Negotiation Skills

Developing emotional negotiation skills is crucial for effective communication and successful outcomes.

Labeling and mirroring techniques can be used to coach individuals in managing their emotions during negotiations.

Global Application of Emotional Intelligence

This section discusses the global application of emotional intelligence in various contexts.

Importance of Emotional Intelligence Worldwide

Emotional intelligence is highly valued globally, as it encompasses both intellectual (IQ) and emotional (EQ) abilities.

People with high EQ are skilled at understanding others' emotions, making them effective communicators and negotiators.

Enhancing Emotional Impact Globally

Labeling and mirroring techniques can be applied worldwide to enhance emotional impact during interactions or negotiations.

These techniques help create a positive environment by diminishing negative emotions and guiding conversations towards mutually beneficial outcomes.

New Section

This section discusses a course that people can buy and the confirmation process. The website mentioned is blackswanltd.com.

Course Confirmation Process

A course that people can buy requires confirmation.

The website to purchase the course is blackswanltd.com.

New Section

This section briefly mentions webinars and their relation to the topic being discussed.

Webinars

Webinars are mentioned in relation to the topic at hand.

It is implied that webinars are part of the overall discussion.

New Section

The speaker tries to divert attention from discussing a specific topic by mentioning the website again.

Diverting Attention

The speaker tries to divert attention from discussing a specific topic.

They mention the website again, possibly as a distraction tactic.

New Section

The speaker mentions an extreme scenario involving blowing someone's head off, possibly as an example of what not to do.

Extreme Scenario

An extreme scenario involving blowing someone's head off is mentioned.

It may be used as an example of what not to do in negotiations or discussions.

New Section

The speaker discusses how to start getting better and improving negotiation skills.

Starting Improvement

The question of how to start getting better is raised.

It is implied that improving negotiation skills is the goal.

New Section

The speaker talks about signals and what they indicate in negotiations or discussions.

Signals in Negotiations

When further down the line, certain signals indicate progress or success.

These signals can be observed and used to guide negotiations.

New Section

The speaker mentions coaching people through various types of deals and negotiations.

Coaching in Negotiations

The speaker mentions coaching people through what they say during negotiations.

This includes dealing with different types of deals on a regular basis.

New Section

The speaker discusses how coaching can lead to a great resolution in negotiations.

Coaching for Resolution

Coaching can guide people towards a great resolution in negotiations.

It is emphasized that coaching plays a significant role in the company's work.

New Section

The speaker mentions their book, "Never Split the Difference," which has sold over two million copies worldwide.

Book Success

The book "Never Split the Difference" is mentioned.

It has achieved significant success, selling over two million copies worldwide.

New Section

The host acknowledges the success of the book and its impact on readership and truthfulness.

Impact of Book Success

The host acknowledges the staggering success of the book.

It is suggested that due to its success, readers are more likely to tell the truth.

Negotiations and Book Sales

The speaker discusses the negotiation process and book sales, highlighting that most books do not sell a significant number of copies.

Negotiation in Book Sales

Most books don't sell more than a thousand copies worldwide.

Only a small percentage of books achieve widespread success.

Selling two and a half million copies is considered exceptional.

Book sales involve various aspects such as teams, business strategies, and podcasting.

Appreciation for the Book's Principles

The speaker expresses gratitude for the principles outlined in the book "Never Split the Difference" and relates them to personal experiences.

Impact of the Book's Principles

The speaker finds value in how the book presents negotiation principles.

The principles are applicable to various areas, including romantic relationships.

The speaker appreciates how the book articulates its concepts.

Applying Negotiation Skills in Romantic Relationships

The speaker discusses applying negotiation skills within romantic relationships and shares personal anecdotes.

Using Negotiation Skills in Relationships

Applying negotiation skills can be beneficial in romantic relationships.

Understanding each other's needs regarding daily life aspects like home, car, or other possessions is crucial.

Sponsors on this podcast emphasize the importance of sustainable switches within relationships.

Sponsorship by an Energy Company

The speaker mentions sponsorship by an energy company focused on green energy usage.

Sponsorship by an Energy Company

A UK renewable energy brand called MyEnergy sponsors the podcast.

MyEnergy aims to increase green energy usage and help individuals make sustainable switches.

Supporting companies that align with sustainability values can be beneficial in relationships.

Understanding Perspectives in Relationships

The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding perspectives in relationships.

Importance of Perspective

It is crucial to understand and see things from the perspective of one's partner.

Acknowledging and respecting each other's viewpoints can strengthen relationships.

Timestamps are provided for each section to facilitate studying the transcript.