Introduction

The speakers introduce themselves and discuss a hypothetical question about being bad in bed or on stage. They also mention a tool called ZocDoc for finding doctors.

Sucking in Bed vs. On Stage

• The speakers discuss whether it's better to be bad in bed or on stage.

• One speaker says they would rather come in their pants in front of their partner's family than have an average set on stage.

ZocDoc

• The speakers mention ZocDoc as a tool for finding doctors.

Chime Credit Card

The speakers talk about the benefits of using the Chime credit card to build credit without fees or security deposits.

Building Credit with Chime

• The speakers discuss how the Chime credit card can help build credit through on-time payments and small purchases.

• They mention that members see an average increase of 30 points to their credit scores over time.

• There are no annual fees, large security deposits, or credit checks required to apply for the Chime credit card.

Naming Children After Beauty Tools

The speakers joke about naming children after beauty tools like gua sha stones and jade rollers.

Gua Sha Stones

• One speaker jokes that they will name their first daughter Guasha Blasstein after the gua sha stone used on faces.

• They explain that gua sha stones are used to drain lymphatic fluid from the face and make the jawline more defined.

Rabbit Tails and Pet Rocks

The speakers discuss the trend of carrying around stones and crystals for good luck, and compare it to the trend of pet rocks in the past.

Stones and Crystals

• The speakers talk about how people carry around stones and crystals for good luck.

• They joke about how carrying around rabbit tails or fox tails used to be a thing for good luck.

• One speaker mentions seeing butt plugs with tails on a website next to earrings.

Jail Time

The speakers discuss their experiences with law enforcement, including being in the back of a cop car and spending time in jail.

In Trouble with Law Enforcement

• One speaker talks about noticing what people carry around for good luck, including stones.

• They discuss their experiences with law enforcement, including being in the back of a cop car and spending time in jail.

Naming Pets and Emotional Men

In this section, the speakers discuss how they named their pets and how straight men often know very little about each other's personal lives.

Naming Pets

• The speakers talk about naming their pets.

• One speaker went to college in South Carolina and named his dog after a made-up word from a Disney Channel show.

• The name "Pluto" was chosen by one speaker and his ex-girlfriend as a compromise when they got custody of the cat after breaking up.

Emotional Men

• The speakers discuss how straight men often don't talk about personal issues with each other, even if they are close friends.

• Therapy is now seen as a positive thing for men to do, whereas in the past it may have been viewed as having a problem.

• One speaker has worked through all of his problems before getting engaged, while the other had been engaged before and worked through his problems then.

Trauma Builds Character

In this section, the speakers discuss how going through difficult experiences can make a person stronger and build character.

Traumas that Build Character

• The speakers list the top five traumas that can build character: divorced parents, growing up poor, early death in life, attending public school, and experiencing other types of trauma.

• They discuss how attending public school can be a traumatic experience but also builds character. They compare it to private schools where students may have access to expensive drugs.

• The speakers joke about doing drugs in eighth grade and mention that they did things too but with more expensive drugs in the back of someone's Mercedes.

Mile High Club and In-flight Boners

In this section, the speakers talk about their thoughts on joining the mile high club and getting boners during flights.

Joining the Mile High Club

• One speaker admits to never having joined the mile high club before.

• They discuss how it would be difficult to join due to lack of privacy on planes.

• One speaker mentions wearing jeans on flights which makes him feel like an insane person.

In-flight Boners

• The speakers joke about receiving DM's from women asking if they get in-flight boners.

• They suggest wearing a soft cup or packing some toilet paper for comfort during long flights.

Mini Tennis and Skincare Routine

In this section, the speakers discuss mini tennis and skincare routines.

Mini Tennis

• Mini tennis is a less athletic version of regular tennis.

• The reason why mini tennis became popular is that people's cardio sucks in our generation.

Skincare Routine

• Zach Justice's skincare routine was discussed after he left the podcast.

• The speaker uses Neutrogena for his skincare routine but doesn't know what brand it is.

• Stress can ruin even the best skincare routine.

• There is a trend called "slugging" where girls add hella amounts of moisturizer and Aquaphor to their faces at night.

• This trend gives them shiny skin, which looks like they just came out of a baby oil commercial.

• The slick back hair aesthetic goes well with this look, but it may not be clean since it hasn't been washed in six days.

Ax Body Spray and Gauges

In this section, the speakers talk about ax body spray and gauges.

Ax Body Spray

• The speaker used to carry an ax body spray can with him at all times to cover up the scent of weed or parsley.

• He thinks that using dry shampoo is sketchy, like guys who use ax body spray.

Gauges

• The speaker got gauges in high school because he saw someone else with them and thought they were cool.

Becoming Funny

In this section, the speaker talks about his journey to becoming a comedian and how he discovered his sense of humor.

Discovering Humor

• The speaker was not good at school or sports growing up.

• He was part of the cool kid group but not the coolest one.

• He played basketball for the Knicks but was on the bench.

• He learned to find humor in situations that felt like trauma.

Trying Stand-Up Comedy

• The speaker tried stand-up comedy when he was 17 years old.

• He lost his virginity around the same time as trying stand-up comedy.

• The speaker's first time having sex was with someone who had already done it before.

• He didn't tell her he was a virgin because he thought you were supposed to act like you've been there before.

Music Choices and Losing Virginity

In this section, the speakers discuss music choices before Spotify and losing virginity.

Music Choices Before Spotify

• The speakers talk about how people did not have many options for music before Spotify.

• They mention that playing music videos was a popular option.

• The speakers share a fun fact about Earth Wind and Fire starting on Earth, thanks to Music Choice.

Losing Virginity

• One of the speakers asks how the other lost his virginity.

• The speaker shares that he lost his virginity in a Walmart parking lot after a football game with his girlfriend-ish partner.

• They discuss whether he had a memorable moment during the football game, but nothing stood out.

• The speaker reveals that he knew her prior to their encounter and that she had dated someone else before him.

Height Verification and Shoe Tricks

In this section, the speakers talk about height verification and shoe tricks.

Height Verification

• The speakers discuss height verification at doctor's offices and how it can be frustrating when they round down your height measurement.

• They joke about being verified by God as being six feet or taller.

Shoe Tricks

• The speakers talk about how men often exaggerate their height on dating profiles.

• They discuss trying to appear taller when going out with someone who is taller than them.

• One of the speakers shares how he stood on the end of a sidewalk to appear taller and how embarrassing it is when someone realizes you are shorter than you claimed.

• They talk about wearing lifts in shoes and how it can be funny or embarrassing.

Short Man Disorder and Dry Humping

In this section, the speakers discuss a man with short man disorder who wore lifts to appear taller. They also talk about dry humping and how it can lead to premature ejaculation.

Short Man Disorder

• A man had short man disorder but was not actually short.

• He would wear lifts to appear taller, making him around 6'3" or 6'4".

• This led to some awkward situations.

Dry Humping

• One of the speakers used to hook up with a guy who would come in his pants while dry humping.

• The speaker believes that dry humping can lead to premature ejaculation.

• The speaker shares a personal story about dry humping his girlfriend in the back of a limo and ejaculating in just 21 seconds.

Dick Size and Measurement

In this section, the speakers discuss dick size and how it is contextual. They also mention that Canadians still measure their dicks in inches.

Contextual Dick Size

• Dick size is contextual; what might be considered big for one person may not be for another.

• One of the speakers mentions that he has six inches and is happy with it.

• Canadians still measure their dicks in inches.

ZocDoc Saves Us from Ourselves

In this section, the speakers talk about avoiding going to the doctor and turning to Dr. Google instead. They introduce ZocDoc as a solution for people who put off going to the doctor.

Avoiding Going to the Doctor

• People often avoid going to the doctor and turn to Dr. Google instead.

• This is like playing Russian roulette with our health.

• ZocDoc is introduced as a solution for people who put off going to the doctor.

ZocDoc - Finding and Booking Doctors

In this section, the speakers discuss ZocDoc, a free app that allows users to find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take their insurance, and are available when they need them.

Features of ZocDoc

• ZocDoc is a free app that helps users find and book doctors who are patient reviewed.

• The app allows users to find doctors who take their insurance and treat almost every condition under the sun.

• Millions of people already use ZocDoc to find and book doctors in their neighborhood who fit their needs and schedule just right.

OnlyFans - A Platform for Content Creators

In this section, the speakers discuss OnlyFans, a platform for content creators to share exclusive content with subscribers.

Insights on OnlyFans

• The speakers discuss whether or not it's appropriate to ask someone you're dating to cover up certain body parts because they've been seen by others on OnlyFans.

• They talk about how some people use OnlyFans as a way to make money quickly before moving on from it once they become famous.

• One speaker shares insights from Mia Malkova, an adult film actress who uses OnlyFans. She talks about how creators have to keep showing more content in order to keep subscribers interested.

Wealth and Relatability

In this section, the speakers discuss how wealth affects relatability in comedy.

Wealth and Comedy

• As comedians become more wealthy, their material becomes less relatable to the audience.

• Seinfeld is an example of a comedian who has stayed in the same realm despite his wealth.

• The speakers joke about disingenuous behavior from wealthy comedians charging extra for jam.

Dirty at 12:30

In this section, the speakers discuss a show called "Dirty at 12:30" and its success.

Dirty at 12:30

• "Dirty at 12:30" is a show in Vegas that does well with local Vegas people.

• The show's format involves hacky old man material presented as bad jokey happy night.

• The Circus Circus casino loves "Dirty at 12:30."

Pinch and Roll

In this section, the speakers discuss male hygiene habits.

Pinch and Roll

• The pinch and roll is a technique used by men to scratch their genitals without actually scratching them.

• The speakers joke about playing a small violin on one's sack to relieve itching.

• They also mention that it's all over TikTok.

Only Child

In this section, the speakers talk about being an only child.

Only Child

• The speaker is an only child who was adopted.

I apologize, but there seems to be no clear topic or theme in the given transcript. It is a conversation between two individuals that jumps from one topic to another without any clear structure or organization. As such, it would not be possible to create a meaningful and informative markdown file with this transcript.