He’s Got “Husband D*ck” ft. Trevor Wallace & Michael Blaustein | Wild 'Til 9 Episode 129

Introduction

The speakers introduce themselves and discuss a hypothetical question about being bad in bed or on stage. They also mention a tool called ZocDoc for finding doctors.

Sucking in Bed vs. On Stage

• The speakers discuss whether it's better to be bad in bed or on stage.

• One speaker says they would rather come in their pants in front of their partner's family than have an average set on stage.

ZocDoc

• The speakers mention ZocDoc as a tool for finding doctors.

Chime Credit Card

The speakers talk about the benefits of using the Chime credit card to build credit without fees or security deposits.

Building Credit with Chime

• The speakers discuss how the Chime credit card can help build credit through on-time payments and small purchases.

• They mention that members see an average increase of 30 points to their credit scores over time.

• There are no annual fees, large security deposits, or credit checks required to apply for the Chime credit card.

Naming Children After Beauty Tools

The speakers joke about naming children after beauty tools like gua sha stones and jade rollers.

Gua Sha Stones

• One speaker jokes that they will name their first daughter Guasha Blasstein after the gua sha stone used on faces.

• They explain that gua sha stones are used to drain lymphatic fluid from the face and make the jawline more defined.

Jade Rollers and Other Beauty Tools

• The speakers discuss the trend of using jade rollers and other beauty tools.

• They joke about people carrying around stones for good luck, and one speaker mentions receiving a stone from another comedian.

Pet Rocks and Stone Trends

The speakers talk about the trend of using stones for decoration and good luck, comparing it to the pet rock craze.

Butt Plugs with Tails

• One speaker mentions seeing butt plugs with tails for sale on a website.

• They joke about how people are currently obsessed with stones as decoration.

Pet Rocks

• The speakers compare the current trend of using stones to the pet rock craze.

• One speaker jokes that your ass is your fifth pocket, referencing where people store things like stones or small items in jail.

Conclusion

The speakers briefly mention being arrested and having to shower in front of police.

Arrested for Stealing a Pink Flamingo

• One speaker shares an interesting story about getting arrested for stealing a pink flamingo from someone's front yard.

Naming Pets and Emotional Men

In this section, the speakers discuss how they named their pets and how straight men often know very little about each other's personal lives.

Naming Pets

• The speakers talk about naming their pets. One of them named his cat Pluto after the Disney character, while the other got a boxer dog statue when he had a flamingo.

• They discuss how they came up with the name Pluto for the cat. It was just a name that popped into one of their heads, and they both liked it.

• One of the speakers mentions that he has custody of his ex-girlfriend's cat after she left him. They joke about how they can be best friends without knowing important details about each other's lives.

Emotional Men

• The speakers talk about how emotional men are becoming more accepted in society, including going to therapy. They joke about how therapy is now seen as a green flag for dating.

• One speaker talks about how he worked out all his problems before getting engaged, while the other jokes that he ran through all his issues quickly.

• They discuss how little some fathers share with their children, such as previous marriages or relationships.

Coastal Carolina University

In this section, one speaker talks about attending Coastal Carolina University in South Carolina.

Attending College in South Carolina

• One speaker mentions attending college in South Carolina at Coastal Carolina University.

• They joke about not being able to spell "chanticleer," which is part of the university's name.

• The speakers discuss Ryan Reynolds' success with his gin brand, Aviation Gin.

Cat vs. Dog

In this section, the speakers discuss their preferences for cats and dogs.

Cat vs. Dog

• One speaker jokes that being a cat guy is worse than being a gin guy who loves feet.

• They talk about how dogs can be messy but also mention that one of their dogs has never thrown up.

Trauma Builds Character

In this section, the speakers discuss how going through difficult experiences can make a person stronger and build character.

Traumas that Build Character

• The speakers list the top five traumas that can build character: divorced parents, growing up poor, early death in life, attending public school, and experiencing other types of trauma.

• They discuss how attending public school can be a traumatic experience but also builds character. They compare it to private schools where students may have access to expensive drugs.

• The speakers joke about doing drugs in eighth grade and mention that they did things too but with more expensive drugs in the back of someone's Mercedes.

Mile High Club and In-flight Boners

In this section, the speakers talk about their thoughts on joining the mile high club and getting boners during flights.

Joining the Mile High Club

• One speaker admits to never having joined the mile high club before.

• They discuss how it would be difficult to join due to lack of privacy on planes.

• One speaker mentions wearing jeans on flights which makes him feel like an insane person.

In-flight Boners

• The speakers joke about receiving DM's from women asking if they get in-flight boners.

• They suggest wearing a soft cup or packing some toilet paper for comfort during long flights.

Mini Tennis and Skincare Routine

In this section, the speakers discuss mini tennis and skincare routines.

Mini Tennis

• Mini tennis is a less athletic version of regular tennis.

• The reason why mini tennis became popular is that people's cardio sucks in our generation.

Skincare Routine

• Zach Justice's skincare routine was discussed after he left the podcast.

• The speaker uses Neutrogena for his skincare routine but doesn't know what brand it is.

• Stress can ruin even the best skincare routine.

• There is a trend called "slugging" where girls add hella amounts of moisturizer and Aquaphor to their faces at night.

• This trend gives them shiny skin, which looks like they just came out of a baby oil commercial.

• The slick back hair aesthetic goes well with this look, but it may not be clean since it hasn't been washed in six days.

Becoming Funny

In this section, the speaker talks about his journey to becoming a comedian and how he discovered his sense of humor.

Discovering Humor

• The speaker was not good at school or sports growing up.

• He was part of the cool kid group but not the coolest one.

• He played basketball for the Knicks but was on the bench.

• He learned to find humor in situations that felt like trauma.

Trying Stand-Up Comedy

• The speaker tried stand-up comedy when he was 17 years old.

• He lost his virginity around the same time as trying stand-up comedy.

• The speaker's first time having sex was with someone who had already done it before.

• He didn't tell her he was a virgin because he thought you were supposed to act like you've been there before.

Music Choices and Losing Virginity

In this section, the speakers discuss music choices before Spotify and losing virginity.

Music Choices Before Spotify

• The speakers talk about how people did not have many options for music before Spotify.

• They mention that playing music videos was a popular option.

• The speakers share a fun fact about Earth Wind and Fire starting on Earth, thanks to Music Choice.

Losing Virginity

• One of the speakers asks how the other lost his virginity.

• The speaker shares that he lost his virginity in a Walmart parking lot after a football game with his girlfriend-ish partner.

• They discuss whether he had a memorable moment during the football game, but nothing stood out.

• The speaker reveals that he knew her prior to their encounter and that she had dated someone else before him. He also mentions that her previous boyfriend was a massive black guy.

• They talk about how wearing someone's jersey on game day is cute, but they never did it.

Short Man Disorder and Dry Humping

In this section, the speakers discuss a man with short man disorder who wore lifts to appear taller. They also talk about dry humping and how it can lead to premature ejaculation.

Short Man Disorder

• A man had short man disorder but was not actually short.

• He would wear lifts to appear taller, making him around 6'3" or 6'4".

• This led to some awkward situations.

Dry Humping

• One of the speakers used to hook up with a guy who would come in his pants while dry humping.

• The speaker believes that dry humping can lead to premature ejaculation.

• The speaker shares a personal story about dry humping his girlfriend in the back of a limo and ejaculating in just 21 seconds.

Dick Size and Measurement

In this section, the speakers discuss dick size and how it is contextual. They also mention that Canadians still measure their dicks in inches.

Contextual Dick Size

• Dick size is contextual; what might be considered big for one person may not be for another.

• One of the speakers mentions that he has six inches and is happy with it.

• Canadians still measure their dicks in inches.

ZocDoc Saves Us from Ourselves

In this section, the speakers talk about avoiding going to the doctor and turning to Dr. Google instead. They introduce ZocDoc as a solution for people who put off going to the doctor.

Avoiding Going to the Doctor

• People often avoid going to the doctor and turn to Dr. Google instead.

• This is like playing Russian roulette with our health.

• ZocDoc is introduced as a solution for people who put off going to the doctor.

Introduction to ZocDoc

In this section, the speaker introduces ZocDoc, a free app that allows users to find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take their insurance, and are available when needed.

Features of ZocDoc

• ZocDoc is a free app that helps users find and book doctors.

• Users can filter results by insurance provider.

• Millions of people already use ZocDoc to find and book doctors in their neighborhood.

OnlyFans and Social Norms

In this section, the speakers discuss social norms around feet and OnlyFans.

Feet as a Social Norm

• The speakers discuss whether or not Trevor should cover his feet when bringing a girl around.

• The speakers discuss how showing off one's body changes as relationships become more serious.

OnlyFans

• The speakers talk about how half of their friends have OnlyFans accounts.

• They discuss the benefits of having an OnlyFans account for financial gain.

• They mention that they have not seen any content from an OnlyFans account but acknowledge its popularity among some people.

Wealth and Relatability

In this section, the speakers discuss how wealth affects relatability in comedy.

Wealth and Comedy

• As comedians become more wealthy, their material becomes less relatable to the audience.

• Seinfeld is an example of a comedian who has stayed in the same realm despite his wealth.

• The speakers joke about disingenuous behavior from wealthy comedians charging extra for jam.

Dirty at 12:30

In this section, the speakers discuss a show called "Dirty at 12:30" and its success.

Dirty at 12:30

• "Dirty at 12:30" is a show in Vegas that does well with local Vegas people.

• The show's format involves hacky old man material presented as bad jokey happy night.

• Circus Circus loves "Dirty at 12:30."

Pinch and Roll

In this section, the speakers discuss male hygiene habits.

Pinch and Roll

• The pinch and roll is a technique used by men to scratch their genitals without actually scratching them.

• The speakers joke about playing a small violin on one's sack to relieve itching.

I apologize, but there seems to be no clear topic or theme in the given transcript. It is a conversation between two individuals that jumps from one topic to another without any clear structure or organization. As such, it would not be possible to create a meaningful and informative markdown file with this transcript.

[CUTOFF_LIMIT]